Storms over Seattle
by TeamCallioperobbins
Summary: This story takes place following 9x23. After Arizona cheats on Callie with Lauren. I wanted to take their story further and delve deeper into their emotions. Hope you enjoy! This is my first fan fic! go easy on me! All characters are owned by shonda Rhimes/abc/their affiliates. I claim no ownership to these characters! Story is rated T- MA (not sure yet. We'll see where it goes)
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fan fic! Please

"It all comes back to the leg." Callie said, her voice laced with the guilt she always felt because she had to make that decision. "Yes, you trusted me. But I didn't have a choice. If that leg didn't go, then you went. And I couldn't stand the thought of losing you Arizona." She said sighing, her voice threatening to break at any moment. "But I guess I lost you anyway." Callie continued on as tears streamed down her face. "Calliope, please..." Arizona said as Callie pushed past her and into the hallway.

"Torres, where have you been?! I need you in trauma two!" Hunt yelled as Callie walked back down to the ER. "What do we have here?" She asked putting her feelings aside as a nurse shoved gloves on her hands. "Justin black, 14 year old male, found beneath a tree, possible internal injuries as well as possible breaks to arms and legs." A nurse spat off as she tied her into a yellow trauma gown. "Page Dr. Robbins, and book an X-Ray and C-scan so we can get a better view of what we are looking at." Callie said as she started examining the frightened boy. "Justin hi... I'm Dr. Torres. I'm going to look at your arms and legs, ok?" She asked running her fingers over his bloodied legs. "Looks like both legs are broken." She said sighing, as the boy winced in pain. "Do we know where his parents are?" Callie asked as she began examining his arm. "No doctor. They were all caught in the storm." The nurse said sighing. "This arm doesn't look broken, but I still want to get an X-Ray on it to make sure." She said bending it back and forth.

"What do we have here?" Arizona said rushing into the room. The nurse repeated the story as She got her gowned and gloved. "Hey Justin, we are going to take really good care of you ok?" Arizona said smiling as she pushed down on his abdomen and he groaned in pain. "After the results are ready from the X-ray's page me. I'm going to go check on my daughter." Callie told the nurse ripping off her gear. She shot a look at Arizona before exiting the room.

"Did Dr. Torres order any C scans or x-rays?" Arizona asked, feeling Callie's glare, as she listened to Justin's heartbeat. "Both." The nurse said smiling and nodding. "Good. Make sure to page me when both come in." Arizona said. "Justin we want to make sure there's no internal bleeding or anything ok? Do you know where your parents are?" Arizona asked. "No ma'am... Here, somewhere. I don't know." He said shaking his head. "We also need to find his parents." She said backing out of the room. "I need to talk to Callie." She thought. Picking up her phone and dialing her number. "Calliope... Pick up." She said in a low tone pacing back and forth. No luck. "Day care!" She thought making her way to the elevators.

She stepped in pressing her back against the wall and sighing. "Hold the elevators!" Arizona heard a familiar voice yell. An arm flew in successfully stopping the doors from closing. "Shit." Arizona heard Callie say under her breath. You could cut the tension with a knife. "Calliope." Arizona said taking a step forward. "No." Callie said, her body tensing. "You can't just not talk to me forever." Arizona said sighing. "No I can't. Because we have a daughter together." Callie said taking a deep breath. Arizona reached over and pulled the emergency stop button. "Then talk to me now." Arizona said, using her body to successfully block Callie from the elevator buttons. "I don't want to talk to you now." Callie said between her teeth. "Well you're gonna!" Arizona yelled. "Fine, you want to talk?" Callie asked, her voice seething with rage. "Yes, I want to talk, I want you to yell... Something." Arizona said, her blue eyes defeated. "How was she?" Callie asked crossing her arms. "What?" Arizona asked confused. "How was she? I didn't stutter." Callie snapped. "Calliope." Arizona said her voice soft. "No, no, you don't get to calliope me." Callie said shaking her head. "I..." Arizona started to say before she was cut off. "I know that I'm not the one who lost my leg, and it kills me, every single day, that I was the one that had to make that decision." Callie said a hint of sadness in her voice, mixed with rage. "And no, I wasn't there, no I didn't hear your screams, or Meredith's cries, or see Lexie take her last breath. But I was here. I was worried I would never see you again." Callie continued on as she started to cry. "So when I knew you were alive, when I knew you were ok... Everything else didn't seem to matter." Callie said shaking her head. "I tried to save your leg Arizona, I did. Do you think I would have chopped it off without good reason?" Callie continued on. "No.." Arizona started to say, her voice meek. "If the leg didn't go you went. You were gone. I did what I had to do to save your life. Forgive me for loving you." Callie said reaching over and pulling the emergency button around a now stunned Arizona.

The elevator shook slightly from the storm, and then again from coming out of the stop position. "Don't say I didn't go through this. Maybe I didn't go through it in the same capacity as you did, and if I could change things I would. I would have gladly taken your place on the plane, because the fear of not knowing if I would ever see you again tore me apart." Callie continued on, not giving Arizona a chance to speak. "Don't say I didn't go through this Arizona. I lost mark, and now I've lost you." Callie said. Her tone quieter, the tears still streaming down her face. "I made a mistake!" Arizona finally shouted. The elevators opened to the fourth floor as Callie and Arizona stood for to toe staring at each other.

"Sorry I'll wait for the next elevator." Lauren said, her eyes wide as she felt the tension creep from the elevator like a wave over her body. "A huge one." Callie said staring Arizona in the eye, before stepping off the elevator and pushing past Lauren. Arizona stood stalk still as Lauren stepped into the elevator car, and the doors closed behind them.


	2. Chapter 2

I didn't get this out in the first chapter, because I'm still learning the ropes here... But... This fan fic is obviously following 9x23 after Arizona cheats on Callie with Lauren. I wanted to delve deeper into the story of what happened between Callie and Arizona and even a little bit with Lauren + other Grey's characters. I'm not sure what's going to happen chapter to chapter, so this story will rate from T- possibly MA. I have an idea of where I want to go... But I'm not 100% sure. Also, you will notice, some of this is keeping in with the episodes and some of it is not. But you will notice similarities in the story line that coincide with this.

Chapters will range from short to longer, and I will do my best to keep consistent with posting times!

Also, I'm trying to figure out what writing style I like, so I'm going to be trying several out. Please bare with me.

Please leave feedback. Let me know if you like the story. Also constructive criticism is always welcome. I personal wasn't a huge fan of this chapter, but I also don't want to leave holes. Thanks for everyone who is reading! This has been a fun creative release for me.

"Are you just going to avoid me forever now?" Lauren asked leaning against the railing successfully keeping Arizona in the elevator. "That was kind of the plan." Arizona said quietly. "I like you, I like you a lot." Lauren said reaching out a hand to tuck a stray hair behind Arizona's ear. Arizona flinched out of the way, not even thinking.  
>"I made a mistake." Arizona said sighing. "I don't mean to be a bitch here, but you were a big mistake." Arizona said. Her heart constricted in her chest as she thought of the look on Callie's face after she saw Arizona's scrub top on Lauren's body. "I don't understand." Lauren said, her tone hurt. "I love Callie. I love my wife. What I did tonight... That was unacceptable." Arizona said shaking her head and fighting the tears.<br>"You had to have done it for a reason. No one just cheats on their wife. You like me too, I know it." Lauren pressed on as the elevator doors opened to the ER. "Not like that, I don't. I had a moment of weakness. A lot has happened over this past year. You were a mistake." Arizona said her eyes locking with Lauren's before getting off of the elevator leaving lauren in a stunned silence.

Arizona navigated the ER floor in a daze. "Dr. Robbins all of the x-rays and c-scans are back." The nurse said grabbing her and pulling her aside. Arizona set up the scans and looked them over. "It looks like there's some internal bleeding in his small intestine." Arizona pointed out to the nurse who sat silently in the background. "I don't know if those bones will need to be re-broken or not, page dr. Torres." Arizona said as she started hanging up the x-rays. "Did we find his parents?" Arizona asked the nurse. "Yes. They are fine. They are sitting in the ER waiting room." The nurse said nodding. "Take them into Justin's room. I'm going to go over these scans with , He's definitely going to need surgery for that internal bleeding. Page Dr Karev, and have him start prepping Justin for surgery." Arizona said before the nurse turned to leave.

"Are these Justin's scans?" Callie said walking into the room shortly after the nurse left. "Yes. I didn't know if you'd need to reset the breaks or not." Arizona said timidly. "That left leg is going to have to be set. I think I can just cast the right one. Arm looks like a minor stress fracture and can heal on its own." Callie said examining the scans. "I'm taking him in for internal bleeding now. You can go in with me get it done all at once." Arizona said looking over at Callie. Callie could feel Arizona's gaze on her as she continued to look over the X-ray's that were laid out in front of her. "That's fine. I'm going to be in and out. He doesn't need surgery from me. It'll be easier for him pain wise if he's under." Callie said turning to leave the room. "Callie..." Arizona called after her. "Not now." Callie said putting her hand up. "I was just going to ask if you heard about Derek and Meredith? The baby is adorable." Arizona said, her smile not quite meeting her eyes. "I saw him, not for too long though. I was distracted from seeing your scrub top on someone else." Callie said, her tone clipped and laced with rage. "See you in the OR." Callie said leaving before giving arizona a chance to say another word.

Callie finished setting Justing breaks and casting him up right after Arizona dove in and started working on his internal bleed. It was nearing daylight before she finished up and Callie was tired. She made her way up to the daycare and picked up Sofia before finding an empty on call room to sleep in. "I hope this wasn't the room Arizona decided to cheat on me in." Callie thought as she held a sleeping Sofia in her arms. She didn't even feel the want or the need to Change as she laid sofia down. She slowly walked over to the door and locked it. She didn't want to be found, she needed a few hours alone to process all that had happened. She crawled into bed with Sofia and played with the babies hair as a single tear fell down her face. She shook her head almost willing the tears to stop falling. "No, Callie. Pull it together." She thought taking a deep breath and sighing before falling into an unsettling sleep.

She woke up to sofia smiling in her face. "Mommy." Sofia said with a smile laying her hand on Callie's Cheek. "Good morning baby girl." Callie said looking at her watch. "10 am." She said with a sigh. "Well, I guess 4 hours of sleep is better then none." Callie said laughing, surprised Sofia let her sleep for that long. "Come on, lets get you back to day care so mommy can go check on her patients." She said picking up Sofia. She positioned her daughter on her hip and swung her diaper bag over her shoulder before unlocking the door and making her way down the hallway toward the elevators. "Callie!" Arizona shouted at her almost as she was to her destination. Callie rolled her eyes and kept walking as Arizona picked up the pace walking toward her. "Callie, wait." Arizona said as she rounded the corner to the elevator doors. "Let me see her." Arizona said Grabbing Sofia from her arms. "Mama." Sofia said smiling and reaching out for Arizona. Callie said nothing, but she rolled her eyes as she handed her off to Arizona. "I was taking her to day care. I have to go do rounds for my patients. You can spend some time with her." Callie said dropping the diaper bag across Arizona's arm before she had a chance to protest.

Rounds finished quickly and everyone seemed to be stable. With the damage done from the storm, no one had even tried to make it in or out of the hospital, so the day was dragging slowly. Callie grabbed a cup of coffee and made her way up to Meredith's room to see the new baby. "Good morning." She said whispering and walking into the room while meredith was feeding Bailey. "Hi." Meredith said with a smile. "How are you? How is he?" Callie asked in a whisper. "We're good." Meredith said smiling. "I just wanted to peek in on you guys. I'll come back later. I'll give you guys come quiet time" Callie said turning to walk out when Miranda, Christina, and Derek walked in. "Morning." They said, their faces alive with smiles. "So much for quiet." Meredith said with a small laugh looking over at Callie. Callie forced a smile on her face as she made her way over to the window. "Good morning." Arizona said walking into the room eliciting an eyeroll from Callie. "How's he doing?" Arizona asked looking over at Derek, Meredith and their beautiful new baby boy. "He's great." Meredith said smiling.

"We need an emergency board meeting right now!" Owen said coming into the room. "Ok, well we need webber and avery." Derek said looking around the room. "The ER is a mess." Owen said sighing and shaking his head. "A mess?" Christina asked as Callie gazed out the window lost in her own thoughts. "The blood bank is flooded, and we are dangerously low on supplies." Owen said. "Well give me the phone I'll call and cordinate with some of our vendors." Meredith said handing off the baby to Miranda. "What?" Arizona asked shaking her head. "I had a baby! I'm not dead." Meredith said with a small laugh. "Airport is re-opened, and I just put Dr. Boswell in a cab." Jackson said walking into the room. "Who's Dr. Boswell?" Christina asked crinkling her eyebrows. "She's the woman Arizona slept with last night." Callie said exiting the room with her arm's crossed, not waiting for a reaction from Arizona or the others.

Callie made her way down the hallway looking for a quiet space to escape. The thoughts of Arizona's infidelity flooded her mind. She found herself going crazy walking past all the on-call rooms and wondering if that was the room. "Stop it callie." She scolded herself before taking a deep breah and re-collecting herself. "That's crazy about Dr. Webber, and Brooks." Callie heard a nurse say, while talking to another nurse. Callie had almost forgotten about Dr. Webber and Brooks before overhearing the conversation between the nurses. Her mind had been flooded with the thoughts of her patients, and her own world falling apart. Derek had lost brooks on the table while Webber stood in critical condition in the ICU. Those final thoughts were enough to take the last shred of energy Callie had left. She sat down at the nurses station and propped her butt against the desk. She looked down playing with her wedding ring, a frown on her face as she wondered what she was going to do. "I can't go home. Arizona is all over that house." She thought sighing as she continued focusing on the ring. "Sad about Brooks isn't it? I can't believe it." Arizona said, suddenly by her side. Callie looked up but not at Arizona. Her voice brought Callie out of her thoughts and back into the world. "Yea." Callie said simply. "I was thinking maybe we could talk now." Arizona said licking her lips. "Not now." Callie said, repeating her words from earlier. "But I think we should maybe if we just.." Arizona continued on. "I said not now." Callie said cutting her off and not letting her finish her thought.

The day came to an end, as Callie walked through the hospital in a daze. She had no surgeries scheduled for that day, but she had to finish out her shift. As soon as the clock hit 5 she changed and grabbed Sofia from the daycare. She quickly made her way home knowing that Arizona was stuck in surgery for the next few hours. "Just enough time to pack some clothes." Callie thought sitting sofia in her high chair with a sippy cup and some dry cereal. "Sit here sofia, Mommy will only be a minute." Callie said grabbing a rolling suitcase from the closet. Her hands grazed over Arizona's clothes, and her favorite red dress of Arizona's that she wore especially for Callie. "No. Just pack." Callie said to herself as she started pulling down some clothes. She grabbed a few shirts and Jeans, before making her way to the dresser. She pulled out her socks and underwear and some Pajamas before pulling the suitcase to sofia's room and grabbing some of her clothes. She packed the diaper bag with as much as she could in as little amount of time as she could. "Come on sof, we are going on a little vacation tonight." Callie said trying to sound enthusiastic. She scooped sofia out of the high seat knocking her sippy up on the floor but not caring. She took one last look around the apartment she shared with Arizona before shutting the door behind her. "Crap! I forgot my laptop at the hospital." She thought as she made her way to the car. She buckled sofia in and threw the clothes in the back before pulling out and making her way to the hospital.

"Meredith or Christina can keep an eye on her while I pick up my laptop." Callie thought making her way into Sloan Grey memorial hospital. She quickly made her way to Meredith's room glad she found Christina in there too. "Hey, can you watch her for a minute. I forgot my laptop here." Callie said as Christina scooped Sofia into her arms. "Sure. What's going on?" Meredith asked confused. "My wife is a, s-l-u-t so sofia and I are sleeping in a hotel tonight." Callie said setting down the diaper bag. "I'll be right back." She said exiting the room. "We can't just let her stay in a hotel." Meredith said shaking her head looking over at Christina. Callie grabbed her laptop, and found herself looking around making sure not to get caught by arizona anywhere in the hospital. She made it back to meredith's room lap top bag in arm. "How was she?" She asked over to Christina who was bouncing sofia on her leg. "She was perfect." Christina said smiling. "Callie, you're not staying at a hotel. You can stay at our house. I'll shoot Derek a text." Meredith said cradling baby bailey in her arms. "I don't want to inconvenience you guys." Callie started to protest. "You're not. I insist. No hotels. I'm texting Derek now." Meredith said putting down Bailey, and picking up her phone. "Thank you." Callie said with a smile she used to fight the tears. All of her emotions seemed to be on over drive. Sadness, thankfulness, scared... She was feeling everything at once. "Come on Sofia. Mommy's tired." Callie said scooping her out of Christina's arms. "Thank you auntie Christina." Callie said smiling as Christina gave them both a smile. "Thank you meredith. Really thank you." Callie said before walking out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok so, this is where I'm going to try to write in a different style. I will be using both Arizona's and Callie's point of view. I saw a few ff writers do this and I love the idea of being able to work through both of their individual emotions. I hope I can do these characters justice.

Since this is just starting I'm writing a lot more then I will in the future. I promise I will do my best to keep a consistent flow going, but no guarantees! My goal is going to be 1-2 chapters a week if at all possible.

For those who have left comments, thank you! They are greatly appreciated! And definitely inspired me to write more!

Someone said they wanted the chapters to be longer so I will do my best to accommodate that.

Please leave more comments, let me know what you think! Let me know if you liked this style more/less etc...

Happy reading!

-Callie-

I was exhausted by the time I made it to Derek and Meredith's house. Sofia had started to get fussy on the way over, but managed to keep her eyes open the entire way. I pulled out Meredith's keys which somehow made their way to the bottom of my purse. I pushed open the door and made my way into Zola's room. Which is where Meredith told me to put Sofia to sleep. It didn't take long to get her changed and settled. I sat with her until she fell asleep in the unfamiliar room. "I'm sorry baby girl." I said running my hand over the soft hair on her head. "This is going to be hard, and confusing for a while. But I promise we will get through it." I said wondering if I said it more for her or myself. I watched the steady rise and fall of her chest in the dark room. Suddenly I was overwhelmed. The tears sprang into my eyes in an un-welcomed fury.

I made my way to the nearest bathroom grabbing a box of tissues before making my way out to the couch. "How could she cheat on me? I thought we had finally moved past everything." I thought laying down and draping my arm over my eyes. I went over everything in my mind replaying our fight over and over in my head. "You weren't on the plane. You lost mark I almost died... You want the badge of honor, the warrior wounds, then great, stick out your leg and I will go grab a bone saw and let's even the score!" Her words echoed in my head, and cut straight to my core. I know she still resents me for making that decision. But the thought of losing her weighed to heavy in my mind. "Always back to the leg." I said out loud shaking my head. "And now I've lost her anyway." I thought as the tears continued falling, before the door opened distracting me.

"Hi." Derek said walking in with Zola wrapped around his side. "Hi. I was going to go to a hotel, but Meredith told me and Sofia to come over." I said as Derek turned to shut the door. "I guess I should have read those 5 text messages." He said raising his eyebrows. "Sofia is asleep in Zola's bed. I'm sorry. I can move her. I don't think she'll wake up" I said as the tears once again started falling. Not just any tears, but uncontrollable sobs "Jesus, pull it together Callie." I thought to myself shaking my head. "It's ok. We'll figure it out." Derek said with a sympathetic smile as I fell apart at the seams.

-Arizona-

The surgery ran longer then I expected and I was glad to finally get out of there. I pulled off my scrub cap throwing it into my locker before quickly changing. "I need to talk to Callie." I thought hanging my head and sighing. I made my way out of the hospital and into the damp night. The cool air was a reminder of the storm that just rolled through Seattle. The air was thick with moisture as I inhaled deeply taking the cool air in my lungs. I closed my eyes taking one more deep breath before I stared moving forward.

The elevator ride up to the apartment seemed to take forever. I found myself mentally counting the dings as my eyes watched each individual floor light up. "3...4...5." I counted before the elevator slowed and the doors opened. I could hear the steady heartbeat in my chest. It quickened as I made my way closer and closer to the apartment door. I pulled my keys out of my purse and stuck the key in the door. I found myself hesitating to turn it. "What if she won't talk to me. What if she won't look at me?" I thought closing my eyes and licking my lips. I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly before pushing my way into the apartment.

"Callie." I called out noting the very heavy silence that fell over the living room. Nothing. "Callie." I said again, my voice a little louder. I began walking through the living room toward our bedroom. Still no answer. I noticed Sofia's cup on the ground before bending over to pick it up. I threw it in her high chair once again aware of the heavy silence invading the once warm space. "Callie." I called out again quickening my pace into the bedroom. Doors to the dresser were left haphazardly open with clothes strewn over the sides. I felt my heart stop and my world begin to spin. I looked toward the closet noticing the empty void where Callie's clothes used to hang next to mine. "Callie!" I yelled, making my way toward Sofia's room.

The crib was empty, as well as the drawers in her room and the diaper bag was missing. "Callie!" I yelled again. My pulse quickened and my hands began to shake. The uneasy thought that she has left went from fear, to a harsh realization.

I picked up my cell phone going to my favorites, I pushed her name. The phone rang, 5...6...7 rings. "Hello, you've reached Callie Torres orthopedic surgeon..." Her voice mail said before I hung up the phone.

"Callie, where are you?" I typed into my phone now pacing the empty apartment

Nothing.

I picked up my phone, re-dialing her number. "Hello, you've reached Callie Torres." Her voice mail started again before I hung up the phone.

"Callie you can't just take our daughter and leave. Where are you?" I typed in, feeling an anger start to rise.

Nothing.

I called her several more times, and sent multiple text messages. No response to any.

Before I knew it my feet were carrying me back to the hospital. I walked with a mission to the front desk in the now otherwise empty lobby. "Page Dr. Torres." I said to the nurse who was filing through papers. She hadn't even looked up at me when I snapped at her. "Page Dr. Torres 911." I said. I could hear the hushed anxiety in my voice as the words spilled out of my mouth. The nurse peeked up at me through her eye lashes. "I can't just randomly page someone 911." The nurse said standing up and dispersing the papers into charts. "Do it dammit!" I yelled. I couldn't help it. I had stared to panic. "If I page Dr. Torres 911 she's going to be expecting an emergency." The nurse said, her tone even. "This is an emergency! Do you think id be here if it wasn't?!" I yelled back unable to keep the worry out of my voice. "What's going on?" Alex asked suddenly standing behind the nurse. "Callie... She left. She took my baby and she left, and she won't answer my calls. Page her." I snapped at him. "Arizona..." He started before I cut him off. "Call her Karev!" I barked not backing down.

-Callie-

"Everyone either cheats on me or dies." I felt escape my lips as I clutched my wine glass close to my chest. The effects of the alcohol were definitely taking over. I said that without even thinking. "Callie." Derek said softly. It was barley audible. "Or cheats on me and dies. George did both!" I said drinking down the last drop of wine from my glass. "Arizona's not going to die." Derek said reaching out and placing a hand on my arm. "Yeah, that's not helping." I said reaching behind me for the nearly empty bottle of wine.

"I'm sorry, I'm drinking all your wine." I said shaking my head. "You should be drinking all of your wine after what happened tonight... With heather, and Richard. Oh my god, why is everything so horrible?" I said the tears starting to fall again. I could hear the mixture of my buzzed state, and tears mixed in my voice. "You go ahead. It's all yours." Derek said, with what I think was a hint of humor in his voice. "Yeah?" I asked the tears being pushed to the back of my throat. "Yeah." He said nodding. I didn't even bother with the glass this time. I finished the bottle in a few large gulps sucking back the cool white wine like my life depended on it. "I'm gonna get some more wine." Derek said getting up and disappearing into the kitchen.

"I know this so isn't what you need right now." I said allowing my body to sink back into the couch. "I appreciate it I really do." I said using a tissue to wipe the few tears that decided to stick to my face. "It's no problem at all, really." Derek said popping open the new bottle of wine. The sound was music to my ears.

"We were just doing so well." I sighed as Derek filled up my glass. "I mean after the car accident, and then this..." I said sighing. "She resents me." I heard my voice crack with those words. I wasn't even sure Derek cared to hear the sob story, but I was just inebriated enough not to care. "I find that hard to be true." Derek said softly. "It's true." I said taking a swig of the cool liquid from my glass. "She blames me for her leg." I said shaking my head. "I promised her I would save it. I thought I could." I said sighing. "What a bold promise to make." Derek said as a look of wonder crossed his face. "Stupid promise." I muttered.

"We fought for months. She was cold. I know we both said things we didn't mean." I said shaking my head. "But this... Cheating..." I said. I could feel my heart constrict in my chest. "And I know. I know I wasn't there. And I know I didn't go through this in the same capacity as you all did." I said clutching my glass. "But I went through this too." I said shaking my head. "I lost my best friend." I said the unshed tears now falling at their own accord. "And I went through this with Arizona. She wouldn't let me touch her, and she would hardly talk to me. When she did she was usually lashing out or blaming me for her leg." I continued as Derek patiently listened. "I took it. I let her yell, and snap at me... I am the reason her leg is gone, but what was I supposed to do? Let her die?" I asked looking up at Derek. He was blurry through my eyes. The mixture of crying and the wine was weighing heavy on them. He didn't answer me. He just sighed and looked sympathetically at me. "I was so afraid to lose her." I said taking in a deep breath. "I guess I lost her anyway." I said with a pained laugh.

-Arizona-

"What's going on? Is everything ok?" I asked stepping into Meredith's room. I had been paged up there and my immediate concern was Bailey. "Everything's fine." Meredith said her tone soft. "I just wanted you to know Callie and Sofia are staying at my house tonight." Meredith continued. "I think she just needs space, and I thought you'd like to know... Not that you would go running over there or anything." Meredith said as she gently stroked baby baileys tummy.

I was backing out of the room before she even finished. "Arizona..." I heard her call out to me as I continued walking. "Arizona!" She yelled again, but I wasn't stopping.

"Really? She thinks she can just take my daughter and leave?!" I yelled at the open road. My hands were clenched on the steering wheel as I felt my foot accelerate on the gas pedals toward the McDreamy household.

"She could at least have the decency to answer her damn cell phone." I said with a huff as "viva la vida." By cold play quietly played in the background. The rain had finally stopped for the evening making it easy to navigate the dark road.

I had only been to the house once before. For Meredith's baby shower. I was surprised at my ability to remember which turns to take, considering this was in the middle of nowhere. The baby shower... My thoughts trailed off as the earth crackled below my tires on the narrow dirt road. Callie and I had decided to have another baby. I sighed at the memory. "Get pregnant and then lose it." I said out loud shaking my head. I glanced in the rear view mirror noting the dark road behind me.

There it was. The McDreamy house hold, in all of it's glory. The huge glass windows allowed the lights to flow out flooding the ground with a yellow glow. I could make out the outline of Callie sitting on the couch clasping something in her hand. And Derek sitting on the arm of the chair. They were animatedly talking. Probably about me. I straightened my shirt and ran my hands down my pants pressing them to my thighs after closing my door.

I took a deep breath and knocked. Not knowing what emotions were waiting for me on the other side.

Callie-

"What is she doing here?" I thought, my tears subsiding, and my eyes narrowing. Arizona stood motionless at the door. Derek swore he heard a knock. I thought he was crazy. Much to my dismay there she was.

"We need to talk." Arizona said shooting daggers into my eyes. "No, we don't." I said feeling the anger, the hurt, and the overwhelming feeling of betrayal pour out of me in that one statement. "You can't ignore me forever." Arizona said crossing her arms. She yelled waking both Zola and Sofia who had just went to sleep. "Dammit Arizona." I huffed. "It's ok. I'll get them, you two take as long as you need." Derek said disappearing down the hallway.

I sat still. My breathing uneven as I felt lol my mixed emotions getting ready to creep to the surface. "Sofia doesn't need to hear us fighting." I managed to get out in a low voice. "I agree." Arizona said her arms crossed over her chest.

"Let's go outside for a little while girls. We can look at the stars." Derek said trying to walk quickly past us. Zola was holding his hand as he cradled Sofia over his hip. They both looked sleepy and confused as he bolted outside with them.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Arizona lashed out at me as soon as the door was closed. "You can't just leave with our daughter like that and not tell me where you're going!" She screamed as her face turned a light shade of red. Was she joking? She had to be joking. "Oh, screwing some whore on shore leave is perfectly acceptable, but this... Makes me the worst person in the world!" I seethed uncaring that my voice was a few octaves above normal. "Sofia is my daughter too!" Arizona yelled. Her hands waving in the air in gesture. "Oh so now she's your daughter." I snapped at her. "I had to convince you to have a baby in the first place!" I yelled, remembering the many fights we had over this matter. The old feelings stirred in my core. We had broken up once because she didn't want kids. She's really going to throw that in my face?

"And I had to convince you to get married!" Arizona shot back. She hovered over me effectively trapping me between her and the couch. "And look where that's gotten us!" I snapped very aware of our situation at hand. Why would she even say that right now? "Dammit Arizona! We've been through so much, we have a child together!" I said straining out the word child. She blamed me for her leg, fine. She took it out on me almost every day for god knows how long, fine. But this... This was a whole new low. I didn't even want to look at her right now. "I know! I know!" Arizona said, her voice cracking. "What were you thinking?!" I said getting up from my seated position. Arizona moved, letting me pass by her. I was grateful, because in that moment I wasn't so sure I wouldn't physically move her. I found myself pacing the floor unsure if I even wanted to hear her answer that question. "I wasn't thinking ok? I just wasn't. It just happened." She said looking down, mindfully avoiding my gaze. Oh, it just happened? I thought trying to stifle a laugh. How do you just accidentally fall into bed with someone? I thought, feeling my breathing staring to quicken.

"Please, just let me fix this." Arizona pleaded. Bringing me out of my thoughts. I could hear the desperation in her voice as she made a move toward me. I stepped back unconsciously. I didn't want to be anywhere near her right now, let alone have her touching me. "You can't fix this." I said through my teeth. I felt the warm, now overly familiar liquid pooling in the back of my eyes. Tears threatening to fall at any minute. I was tired of crying in that moment, I least of all didn't want to cry in front of her, but I was fighting a losing battle with myself. "Calliope..." Arizona said her eyes pleading. The way she said calliope still sent me reeling. The way the name just rolled out of her lips made me almost shiver. No. I had to stand my ground. She hurt me, she betrayed me. I dared to look at her letting my eyes meet hers, even just briefly. The once ice blue eyes were now hazed over, an almost cloud like affect, swallowing the once bluer than blue fixtures. Even though I was so unbelievably mad at her. It still pained me to see that. "No. You can't fix this Arizona..." I said taking a step back. I had to drop my gaze. She cheated on me. Not the other way around. Stay strong Callie. I silently gave myself the pep talk as my legs continued to move on their own free will "Goodnight." I said unable to be near her any longer.

"Callie, Please." She said, her voice cracking. I could hear the tears in her voice as she pleaded with me, calling my name. I couldn't stop. I was so hurt, and so angry. How could she? What would even make her think I wanted to talk to her tonight? I thought making my way to the bathroom. Hoping she wouldn't follow.

-Arizona-

I had a plan all worked out. But everything seemed to falter as I made my way to the front door. I could feel my stomach start to Churn, and my heart start to race as I got closer and closer to the now menacing door. I knocked, once, then twice unsure the knocks were even heard. The door opened, and just like that every thought I had fell out of my brain. I couldn't remember a single word I had worked up to say.

"What is she doing here?" Callie asked. "So now she's just going to refer to me in the third person?" My mind thought as I found myself caught in the doorway.

"We need to talk." I said looking around Derek as I searched for Callie's eyes. "No.. we don't." She said softly, yet angry, a tone I had never heard out of her before. Even with all the fights we've had in the past. It was a little unnerving and made me shiver. "You can't ignore me forever." I said hoping I would entice her to talk. It was true after all. We did have sofia together. I'd rather do this now, then risk never seeing her again. My voice must have been too loud. I didn't mean for that to happen but I yelled and woke up both kids. "Dammit Arizona." Callie said not making eye contact with me. She just shook her head in what I could only assume was mock disappointment. "I'll get the girls. Take as long as you need." Derek said scurrying down the hallway.

I stood motionless, waiting for derek to get back with both girls. "Sofia doesn't need to hear us fight." Callie quipped sitting stone still. "I agree." I said crossing my arms in an almost protest like manner. It wasn't long before derek had both girls secured and outside, and hopefully out of range to hear that fight I was sure was about to errupt.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" I snapped as soon as Derek closed the door behind him. "You can't leave with our daughter like that and not tell me where you're going!" I heard my voice get louder towards the end of that statment but I was mad, and scared, I didn't like that combonation. I could feel my face heat with that statment. "Oh, screwing some whore on shore leave is perfectly acceptable, but this... Makes me the worst person in the world!" Callie yelled. Ouch. That stung, bad. I could feel my heart almost leap into my throat with that one. "Sofia is my daughter too!" Was all I could think to say. It was the truth, all of it. "Oh, so now she's your daughter. I had to convince you to have a baby in the first place!" Callie yelled throwing up her hands.

"And I had to convince you to get married!" I yelled. She wants to fight dirty, then lets fight dirty. Sure she had to convince me to have Sofia, but after she was born, after all we had been through I couldn't imagine my life without her. "And look where that's gotten us!" Callie shouted back. Ouch, again. I felt myself wince at her words. "Dammit Arizona, We've been through so much! We have a child together" Callie said. Her words ringing through me like a bell. "I know! I know!" Was all I could say. I could feel the familiar lump forming in the back of my throat as my words spilled out. "What were you thinking?!" Callie asked me. What a loaded question. She paced the floor waiting for an answer looking nervously, everywhere, but at me. "I wasn't thinking, ok? I just wasn't. It just happened." I said. Looking down. I saw Callie's eyes flicker to mine and I couldn't face her. It was true. It did just happen. The night it happened, last night, the lights flickered off and the next thing I knew, Lauren had pushed her body against mind. She grabbed me and pulled me in for a kiss. Not that I necessarily fought it. I didn't know I could still be wanted that way, and she knew. She knew the whole story. She knew I was down a limb, and married. I don't know what I was thinking. I just remember locking the door and not worrying about the rest of the world.

I was shocked that all those thoughts flooded my brain. It didn't make them right. Callie still wanted me. After I was mangled, after I bit her head off every chance I got. I did blame her for my leg. And I took it out on her every chance I got. And yet., she stayed. "Please, just let me fix this." I heard myself say. Not even thinking. It's because I didn't have to think to mean it. I wanted to fix it. I needed to fix it. I made a move towards Callie hoping she'd remember my touch. Hoping it would spark some kind of feeling. But she backed away. I was halfway expecting that, but it still hurt. "You can't fix this." Callie said trough her teeth. Her eyes started to water again. I could see her fighting the tears. "Calliope..." I said, hoping to register something, anything with her. I felt the desperation rise. I had to fix this. "No, you can't fix this Arizona..." She said stepping even further away from me. "Goodnight." She said dropping her gaze and walking out of the room.

"Callie, please!" I called after her as the tears began to fall. I couldn't stop them any longer. I know she heard the desperation in my voice because I heard it too. I heard the click of a door closing and the turn of a lock. That was it. This was all I could do for the time being. I almost fell to my knees as I felt my world crumble around me. But I gathered my strength and walked out the door. Derek had the girls on the swings and I thought it best to not let Sofia see me leave.

I quietly closed my car door before pulling out of the driveway with my lights off. I wasn't sure, but I could have very well just lost everything I had. Over one mistake. I had to fix this. I had to figure it out.

Authors note: ok so I know I played out their fight twice, but I wanted to convey the emotions and thoughts going through each of them. Let me know what you thought. Was it too much? Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hello! I just want to say thank you for the follows, and favorites! I don't know about you, but when I read a FF I hate waiting to see what happens next, so I have been trying to stay on top of things, and at least get a flow going so no one is waiting too long. But, life sometimes gets in the way, and I have been busy of late.

So as you can tell most of this has been following the story line with just my little additions to it. I've just added more emotion behind each character etc... This story will soon be spiraling off into my own version of it. I love Arizona, and I love Callie, they are my absolute favorites. I know some of you are probably going to hate me for future parts of the story, because it's no longer going to follow the story line so I wanted to give you a heads up! Hopefully by the end I will have appeased you all.

So far the last 3 chapters, and this one are beta free, so I am SURE there are multiple errors. I haven't asked anyone or had anyone offer to beta my stories, so if you'd like to be a beta reader, please let me know! Just PM me. I'll be sure to give you a shout out before every chapter if someone so chooses to do this!

This is a rather long AN and I'm sorry, but this will HOPEFULLY be the longest one and I won't bore you any longer. From now on the ANs should only be rating changes or small things like that

Happy reading!

Chapter 4-

-Arizona-

I stretched out my arms, feeling the empty spot beside me. The area of the bed, usually occupied by Callie laid untouched. Suddenly The apartment felt cold, and empty. Who was I kidding? It was empty. The only thing to fill the void was me, my aching heart, and my overly loud thoughts. I was hoping it was just a bad, bad dream. Nope. I had in fact cheated on my wife. I was alone in our apartment. No Callie, no Sofia.

I didn't want to go into work today. I thought of every possible excuse to stay home. I couldn't stand the thought of one more pair of eyes staring at me, correction, judging me. I knew what they all were thinking. Callie let everyone know of my infidelity. She didn't even flinch when she let the words roll out of her mouth. "She's the woman my wife slept with last night." The news spread like wildfire... Guess I deserved that.

I laid in bed, willing time to stand still, but I couldn't put it off any longer. it was time to get up. I grabbed my crutches from the side of the bed, and made my way into the bathroom. I was now used to my morning routine; Wake up, grab crutches, make it to shower without falling, wash, rinse, repeat. I made it to the bathroom with ease. Each day got a little bit easier. I flipped on the shower and set my crutches aside as I started to undress myself.

I settled nicely in the shower. Balancing had now become second nature. I picked up the shampoo and lathered it into my hair. I found myself feverishly washing it, subconsciously hoping to wash away the past couple of days. "Well, shampoo sure as shit isn't going to fix this mess." I said out loud to the shower head. I finished showering almost robotically. My mind went completely numb, but in that moment I was grateful. I found myself not allowing my thoughts to get past what I had to do next. "Pick up conditioner, squeeze into hand, put conditioner down, apply in hair." That was it. That's as far as my thoughts would proceed.

I grabbed a coffee on my way up to the dr's lounge. Stopping at the usual spot where I grabbed a cup with Callie in the morning. Thoughts of Lauren suddenly filled my brain. This is where we met for the first time. I had accidentally grabbed her coffee, and then, according to her, over sugared it. I closed my eyes and shook my head letting out a steady breath. "Mistake." I said, shaking my head. "Excuse me?" The girl handing me my coffee asked. "Oh, nothing." I said mustering up the best smile I could manage.

I had no scheduled surgeries until late that afternoon, so I made my way to the lounge, Slowly. Karev was there to oversee rounds, along with the interns , and after the fight I had with Callie I was hoping, maybe, we could just talk. She should be here already. The hospital was the perfect place. It was level playing ground. Although, since everyone knew about Dr. Boswell and I, Callie may have a little bit more of an advantage.

It's not like cheating was a foreign concept in this hospital. Hell, Chief Webber carried on an affair with Alice Grey for how long? Callie also told me about the time the hospital threw a prom for his niece and Meredith and Derek hooked up in a room. I am pretty sure he was still married at the time. There was Owen and Christina, that was heartbreaking. And let's not forget George and Izzy... Callie only told me a little bit about that toward the beginning of our relationship. I was never thrilled to hear about any of her ex's. Especially ones who cheated on her. Now here I am. Probably doomed to be one of her ex's... Who cheated on her.

I still need to talk to her though. Whatever it takes. Doors seemed to be an area of stress for me these days. I never knew who was on the other side. I took a deep breath and kicked my lips to open the lounge door, only to find it empty.

-Callie-

"Please don't run." Arizona said. Her soft ivory arm was draped over my leg. "What?" I asked confused. We sat watching TV in a beautiful hotel room. "It's all been awful, and I've been awful. But I'm just starting to feel like myself again." She said. Her blue eyes searching mine. That shine was back, the one I had been missing. All I could do was look at her. "And I know it can't be about my leg all the time, and I don't want it to be... But right now, it just is." She said, her eyes still searching mine. "But I can't lose you. So, please. Don't run." She said, her tone was almost pleading. "After the accident, you never left my side." I said with a smile, locking eyes with her. "There's no way I'm leaving yours." I said before leaning in for a kiss.

Suddenly there was a loud noise. "Where is that coming from?" I asked Arizona, breaking our too short kiss, looking around the room. "It's a baby." She said with a confused look on her face.

"I'm up!" I shouted being ripped back into reality. The cries were Bailey and the rest was just a dream. Actually a dream of a memory, a happier memory. "I'll get him." Meredith said quietly from the couch. "No, I will. You shouldn't be lifting anything" Derek said from somewhere beside me. "I'm up, I'll get him." I said rolling off my makeshift bed of piled cushions on the floor.

I tried to make it to him before he woke up Zola, and Sofia. I failed. "Mama!" Sofia yelled. I sighed, defeated. Time to start the morning.

"Are you sure you're ok with them? You can handle it?" Meredith asked as I shoved the rest of Sofia's stuff into her diaper bag. "It's fine, they're the only two people in the world who don't piss me off right now." I said throwing the bag over my shoulder and walking toward the door. "Callie, you are a goddess!" Derek said passing along the girls. "And yet my W-i-f-e still cheats on me." I said rolling my eyes. Jeez, I'm bitter. "Come on girls, let's go!" I said cradling Zola on my hip and grabbing Sofia's hand. "We're gonna take the ferry today!" I said walking out the door.

The girls loved the ferry ride in. It was fun to watch them, and lose myself in their wonder for a while.

I had no scheduled surgeries until noon, but I was scheduled for 8 an am consult, which could possibly turn into a surgery. I was running slightly behind schedule, something that would normally bother me, but I didn't have much fight in me, not today. I'm exhausted. Too much thinking, not enough sleeping, not a good mix.

I made it to the hospital in record time, especially considering I was running behind schedule. I dropped Sofia off, and changed, with 15 minutes to spare before I had my consult. I really wanted to break some bones today.

I made my to the lounge, in hopes of grabbing a cup of coffee, the line at my usual pick up was way too long to stand in. I'd never have my coffee in time.

I pushed the door open to see the blonde locks looking out the window. I wasn't expecting to see her here. "Hey." She said quietly. "Hey, Sofia is here, in day care." I said shoving my hands in my pockets. "Ok." She answered me simply. "She and I will be staying at Meredith's again tonight. That's two nights with me, and you can take her the next two nights." I said sighing. "Wait, what? How long are we going to be doing this?" Arizona asked confused. "I don't know, I honestly don't know." I said shaking my head.

"Calliope..." Arizona said, saying my name, the way she said it, still sent a shiver through me. I could feel myself weakening to just her voice. Dammit. No. Stay strong Callie. "This is how it's going to have to work for now." I said sighing and standing my ground.

"Can we please just talk? Please." Arizona pleaded with me. So many thoughts flooded my brain, part of me wanted to talk to her, and hear her out. I love her, but I am still so unbelievably mad. "We had time for talking, instead you slept with someone else. I'm certain... No I'm positive that us talking will lead to a fight..." I said diverting my eyes, from her piercing blue. It was true, and it made me almost fall apart. "I just don't have any fight left in me Arizona. I have nothing left." I said throwing up my hands. "I believe in second chances. And I've given you more then your fair share of second chances... I just don't have anything left to give..." I said pouring out my heart. It took everything in me not to break down and cry right there. I had to walk away.

-Arizona-

I sat in my empty living room reliving the conversation Callie and I had that morning, letting her words play over and over in my head like a bad dream..."I just don't have any fight left in me... You've had more then your fair share of second chances..." She was right. She had given me several chances.

The room was quiet and still as I watched the shadows of memories play across the floor. I looked up and over to our kitchen, playing one of my favorite memories in my head...

"I hate this merger, because I don't like long distance relationships. I don't believe in them, you can't move to Portland." I said shaking my head.

"But this afternoon you didn't seem to mind." Callie said, pizza in hand, a confused look on her face.

"I didn't know I was allowed to mind, I didn't know if we were girlfriends, but then you said girlfriend, you called me your girlfriend. So, I need to know... Am I your girlfriend?" I asked my heart racing and palms slightly sweaty.

"Yeah." Callie said, her mouth forming into that earth moving smile. The one that always brought joy to me no matter what. That smile that could light up a thousand dark nights.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as the happy memory faded away.

I looked back over to the floor below me. "That's where Sofia took her first steps." I said aloud, as the memory of her tiny feet moving across the floor sent me into another flashback.

"Arizona, she's going to do it! She's going to walk!" Callie excitedly shouted.

"I'm coming!" I yelled back. I threw my hair back and ran out to the living area, with my tooth brush still in my mouth.

Sofia was holding onto the couch, her tiny legs bouncing up and down, and she had a huge smile on her face. "Come on baby girl, you can do it." Callie said with a shine in her eyes. And with that she did, she took her first wobbly steps before falling firmly on her bottom.

"Good job Sofia!" Callie said excitedly. She scooped Sofia off the ground as we both excitedly cheered. "She's amazing." I said with a rush if adrenaline coursing through my veins. "She's perfect. Just like you." Callie said leaning in to me for a kiss.

I need to see them. Both of them. Even if Callie is mad, I just need to look at her. And I need to hold Sofia. Now.

I didn't even think twice before going to my car, and making my way to Derek and Meredith's house. The drive up was almost second nature. The car basically drove me there on it's own. The closer I got the more antsy I got. I found myself flicking mindlessly through the radio stations not letting one song stay on long enough to even hear what it was.

The hardened dirt and dry leaves crackled beneath my tires as I pulled up to the well lit house. There were several cars in the drive way. Callie's, Derek's, and a new one. I had no idea who's it was, but no one was stopping me from my goal. I walked up to the door and knocked. I could hear muffled talking about what to eat for dinner and Sofia's laugh. The door flung open with Christina surprising me.

"Hi, I'm sorry to bother everyone." I said my voice cracking. "No, it's ok." Christina said, her tone was nice, and re-assuring. "Can I just see her for a minute?" I asked looking over at Callie who was playing with our beautiful daughter. "And you. Can I see you?" I thought as tears started to fall. I didn't even realize I had started crying until my cheeks were dampened. "You can have her tomorrow night. Like we planned." Callie said. Her tone was guarded even slightly mean. "Just five minutes please. I won't take her. I just- I'll sit right here. I just want to see her." I said, the desperation rising in my voice.

"She's supposed to be asleep, how can I get her to sleep if you come and go like this? Do you have any idea how confusing this is for her?" Callie said. Her once beautiful brown eyes had small dark circles around them. She looked tired, and her voice was slightly horse. Even then she was beautiful. "I know, I'm sorry but.. I miss her. Please. I promise we'll just sit right here." I said pointing to the porch

"5 minutes, come on..." Christina interjected. "She comes over here with this act and you're just going to take her side?" Callie snapped scooping Sofia in her arms. "Callie look at me, I'm your friend." Christina said reaching for Sofia and scooping her out of her arms. "Just 5 minutes." Christina said taking her. "Come on pretty girl, let's go see mama!" Christina said carrying her over to me.

"Hi!" I said taking her from Christina, Happy to feel her tiny form in my arms. Callie shot me a look, then one to Christina before disappearing into the house. "Just come in when you're ready." Christina said with a sad smile.

I took Sofia out front like I said I would. She sat in my lap playing with her cup. "I love you so much. And I miss you every minute." I said laying a kiss on her forehead. "Because you're my girl."

I had a very one sided conversation with my baby, just happy to spend time with her. "One day, this will all be ok. It has to be ok." I said taking her hand in mine. And almost like the heavens planned to send me a sign, a shooting star streaked across the sky leaving a white mist in it's wake. "Please let this be ok." I said closing my eyes and sending up a prayer. "Ok Sof, I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow ok?" I said after a while of sitting with her.

I pushed open the door of the house where Christina was the lone person now sitting in the living room. "Thank you." I said quietly walking over to the couch and setting Sofia down. "I love you." I said kissing her cheek before I started to walk away. "Hey, let me take Sofia to Callie and then wait for me. I want to walk with you to your car so I can talk to you." Christina said picking up the baby. "Ok." I said simply suddenly feeling nervous.

Christina was back in no time, practically running back into the living room. "Let's go." Christina said as we walked out the front door. "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?" I asked as I hugged myself tightly. The nights air had suddenly fallen cold and I felt a shiver run through my body. "Well, I've talked to Callie, but I haven't talked much to you. I just wanted to see if you were ok." Christina said. It shocked me, almost. I was the 'bad guy' here, yet she was extending a friendly handed hold, so to speak. "What? Don't look so shocked, your my friend too." Christina said with a soft chuckle. "I know, it's just... I messed up here, big. No one looks at me the same, no ones been mean, but no ones really checked on me either..." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"You did mess up, and Callie and I have been friends for a long time. But you and I, we became friends too..." Christina said. Her eyes started shifting and I know she wanted to say more, but she stopped. "Yes, I'd like to think so." I said mustering up a smile. "So as your friend, I'd like to... I guess share something with you. She said rocking back and forth on her heels.

Oh great. Here comes the backlash.

"No one really understands what it was like for us out plane crash changed us all I think.." She started. "We were in this together. You, me, Meredith, Derek." She continued. "I think that brought us all a little bit closer. Don't you?" Christina asked, crossing her arms over her body. "Yes... I think so." I said nodding. "And we can share things, in confidence and talk freely." Christina continued on. "Yes." I said, confused. "Good... Then I want you to hear me out." Christina said taking a deep breath. "I can do that." I said nodding my head.

"When I found out owen cheated on me... I was shocked. I was broken, and I felt like the weight of the world was sitting on my chest. My heart literally broke." Christina said. I was surprised that this normally very private person was opening up to me about something so personal. "And it was a long road to recovery for us. I didn't feel like I could trust him, I couldn't even look at him." Christina said with a soft laugh shaking her head. "It's horrible being on this side of things." Christina said her eyes meeting mine. I just looked at her. I didn't even know what to say. What could I say? "I don't think you're a bad person." She continued to talk filling the silence between us. "I think you made a very big, very bad mistake." She said sighing.

"Callie is hurting right now. You hurt her." Christina said causing my eyes to water. "I know." I said breaking my streak of silence. The tears pooled in my eyes before falling down my cheeks. The familiar salty taste on my lips was an all to common occurrence lately. "But she still loves you." Christina said placing an arm on my shoulder. "You're not angry like she is over someone you don't love." Christina said shaking her head. "Just give her time. Let her work through whatever she needs to work through. And maybe you should do the same." Christina said dropping her arm and bringing it back into her body. "But if you love her, if what you did was really a mistake. Don't give up. Don't give up on what you guys have going." Christina said with a sad smile. "Just give her time." She said nodding once.

I felt like a small weight had been lifted , and suddenly I found this new found hope I didn't have before talking to her. "Thank you." I said, the tears in my eyes slowing. "You're welcome. I'm going to go. It's cold out here. Have a good night." Christina said with one last smile before turning around and walking to the door.

I got in my car and whole heartedly smiled for the first time. Christina Yang, just gave me hope again.

-Callie-

I have been in the McDreamy house for almost a week now. I couldn't bare the thought of going back to my apartment. Besides Arizona was still staying there. It didn't feel like home right now anyway. No where did.

Morning came way too soon, after yet another nearly sleepless night. The cloudy day was masking the sun, but the light infiltrating my room was enough to nearly blind me. I got up putting my feet down on the cold wood floor. My toes made contact and it sent a shiver through my whole body. "One more day Torres, one more day and then you have a day off." I thought sighing deeply. "A day off without Sofia." I said aloud realizing it was Arizona's day to have her. I shook my head dreading the thought of not having her with me.

Sofia was up and bouncing around by the time I made it to the room she and Zola have been sharing. Zola sat quietly in the corner playing with a doll as Sofia proceeded to jump around the room with more energy then I could muster up. "Good morning girls." I said with a smile on my face. "Mama!" Sofia yelled running into my arms. "Hi baby." I said smiling and hugging her. "Let's get you dressed ok? Mommy has to leave for work soon." I said picking her up.

Coffee was brewing in the kitchen by the time I had gotten myself and Sofia dressed, I even managed to get Zola dressed and ready for the day. The smell of coffee filled the air, it's welcoming aroma making it's way to my nose. "Morning." Derek said smiling and pouring me a cup of coffee. "Good morning." I said putting Sofia in her high chair, followed by Zola before making myself busy in the kitchen. "Morning" Meredith chimed in. "Cereal?" I asked grabbing a cup of juice for Sofia. "Good morning Zola!" Meredith said stopping and giving her daughter a kiss, followed by some juice. "Please, I'll take mine to go!" Meredith said

It was nice having friends around. And Derek and Meredith have been more then supportive. Everything with us seemed to flow so easily. I suppose my extra hands were an asset now that the baby had come along. We moved with fluidity through the kitchen cleaning, packing the girls snacks for day care, and just living.

"I think we are pretty good at this!" Meredith said from somewhere behind me. I turned around and smiled at her as I handed her, her cereal in a to go container. We were good at this. "Ok, I gotta go! Bye Zola I'll see you later. Bye Bailey, bye handsome boy!" Meredith said before getting ready to leave. "Here honey." Derek said handing Meredith her purse. He kissed her cheek and she started to make her way toward the door. "Wait! Meredith, pump!" I said grabbing it and setting it on her other shoulder. "Oh, thanks!" She said leaning in for a kiss. I found my mouth smacking with hers like it was an everyday occurrence.

Meredith turned to walk away stopping in her tracks half way to the door. "Maybe we are too good at this." I said deep in thought. Derek laughed in amusement at our impromptu kiss. Meredith kept walking to the door, while I shook my head and had to stop the laughter that was threatening to escape my lips.

By the time I had gotten everyone else ready I didn't have time for breakfast. I was starving before I ever got to the hospital. Starving and tired. This should be a fun day. "Hey." I heard Arizona's voice bring me back from my thoughts of my grumbling stomach. "The mortgage slips came." She said pulling out an envelope. I stepped over to her taking it from her hands. "Ok." I said nodding. "You're welcome." She said rolling her eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh. "You want me to thank you for bringing me the mortgage slips, to my apartment that you're living in?" I said shaking my head. "If you want me to leave I'll just leave." Arizona said sighing. "I don't want to live in a place, that I used to share with my cheating wife." I said with a forced smile. "But thanks." I said, I knew my tone was condescending ,but I was still so raw with emotion. I walked away, and didn't look back, but I could feel Arizona's stare on me until I disappeared.

I walked into the lounge in search of food when I saw Owen sitting in the conference room eating. "Ohhh Banana bread!" I said sitting down and grabbing a few chunks without even asking. "Um.. Here. Have a piece." Owen said with a smirk. "I'm sorry. I was too busy feeding my family breakfast, and getting my sister wife's breast pump packed to feed myself this morning. So..." I said as I nibbled on the bread.

"You have a sister wife?" Owen chuckled. "Derek Meredith and I are in a relationship." I said nodding my head, my tone serious. "Huh..." Owen said with a nod, a smile still plastered on his face.

"I used to dance around in my underwear. I thought id get back to that when I left Arizona... Instead I walked right into big love." I said shaking my head. "I rebounded to the McDreamys." I said with a smile causing Owen to laugh. "This banana bread is amazing!" I said shoving a few more bites in my mouth.

Just then both of our pagers went off distracting us. "Incoming trauma?" Owen asked me. "Yep." I said simply.

We walked down to the pit together, making small talk as we did. "You look tired Torres." Owen said as we waited for the ambulance to pull up. "Ha! That's a polite way of saying I look like shit isn't it?" I asked nudging him. "No.. You just look like you haven't slept in days." He said shrugging his shoulders. "I haven't." I said honestly. With that, the incoming ambulance interrupted our conversation.

The day flew by, the car accident that had come in resulted in 15 broken bones and multiple surgeries on one guy. I didn't even have time to grab lunch, so I was glad I had time to eat the small sliver of banana bread from Owen. I was starving by the time I finished in the OR.

It was nearing 6pm as I made my way to the lounge. I was grateful to have tomorrow off, but I was dreading not having Sofia with me. I plopped myself down on the couch in the lounge so I could rest my feet for a few minutes before I changed for the night. Everything on me was tired, my arms, feet, legs. And I still had a long ride back to Meredith and Derek's.

I sighed pushing myself up off the couch and over to my locker. "Hi.." Arizona said quietly from beside me. I didn't even notice her in the room. "Hey." I said simply. "Calliope..." She started, taking a step toward me. "Not now Arizona. I'm tired." I said holding up my hand. "You can't avoid me forever. You have to talk to me at some point." Arizona pushed on.

"That night, is not tonight." I said shaking my head, as I pulled my clothes lazily out of my locker. "Well tomorrow then. I'm not going to stop until you agree to talk to me..." Arizona said. I could feel her looking at me as I stared straight ahead. "I don't know that I'm ready to talk to you yet." I said honestly.

"Well at some point you're going to have to talk to me, because we have a daughter together, and I'm still your wife." Arizona pleaded, slamming her locker door. "My wife who cheated on me." I said with a laugh shaking my head. "I made a mistake! I screwed up big time. I understand that! But you haven't been perfect in this relationship either!" Arizona snapped.

"No. I haven't. I remember. Believe me I know how you feel about my imperfections. You always have, and always will blame me for you leg. I know Exactly how you feel." I said. I tried to keep my tone even, but I could hear the tone change the more I talked. "Do you still love me?" Arizona asked sighing. "What?" I asked with a small chuckle.

"Do you still love me?" Arizona asked, her blue eyes searching mine. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out.

Sorry I ended it so abruptly. But if I didn't, I wouldn't have stopped writing and this would have gone on forever!

Comments appreciated. Was it too much? Not enough? Confusing? Hope I get some feedback! :) I promise to update soon!


	5. Chapter 5

End of chapter 4

-Callie-

"Do you still love me?" Arizona asked, her blue eyes searching mine. I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out.

Xx

Chapter 5

-Arizona-

It felt like I was waiting forever for something, anything, to come out of Callie's mouth. Anything to drown out the sound of my beating heart radiating in my ears. She stared at me, not moving, not making a peep, her mouth slightly dropped open. "Say something." I finally choked out. I could feel my mouth, and tongue going dry as I waited for her answer.

"Don't be stupid, of course I still love you Arizona." Callie finally said. Her shoulders slumped forward as she let out a long breath I hadn't even realized she was holding. Her voice was almost hoarse. "But that's not the point." She was quick to follow. I almost cried hearing those words. I felt my heart rate pick up in my chest, and for the first time, Callie gave me a faint glimmer of hope.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm asking you to talk to me." I said, realizing in that moment, that was all I wanted for the time being.

"You're not going to drop this are you?" Callie asked taking a deep breath. Her voice was weak, and tired. It pained me to know that I was the root cause for her state of mind. The worry, stress, and hurt was written all over her face.

"No, I won't drop it. Not until you talk to me. And I will seek you out, every minute, of every day that I can until you talk to me." I said, whole heartedly meaning it. "Fine." Callie finally said, meekly. "Ok?" I asked hopeful.

"I said fine." Callie said with a laugh shaking her head. "Not around Sofia. I'm not sure how this is going to go." Callie said sighing. "Ok. I'll find someone to watch her." I said quickly. "Not tonight." Callie interjected. "Fair enough." I said sighing. I didn't want to wait too long, even over night was more than enough time for Callie to change her mind about talking to me. But I wasn't about to argue. This was the most progress I had made.

"Let's talk tomorrow." I said leaning into her. "I don't work, and I know you don't work either." I said hoping to trap her in a time frame at least. "Fine, tomorrow." Callie said. She still hadn't looked at me, not once, but at least she was agreeing to talk to me. "Will you come to the apartment?" I asked. I almost felt like I was pushing it, but I really wanted to talk in private.

"Fine." Callie said, nodding once. Her expression was unreadable, she almost looked dazed. "I'll let you know when I get a sitter for Sofia." I said, getting up out of my seat. "We can schedule a time after that." I said sighing. Callie just greeted me with a laugh. A single note coming out as her shoulders rose on her body. She shook hear head and sighed before getting up from the bench.

"I'll see you tomorrow Arizona." Callie said, her tone lifeless, void of feeling. She shut her locker door and walked away clothes in hand. She didn't even give me a chance to say more to her. I was slightly grateful. I didn't want to say more then I had to, and scare her off after she had agreed to talk to me.

Still, I wouldn't be worry free until she was actually in our apartment sitting there, and we were both using more then a few words at a time. She had plenty of time to change her mind between now and then. I wasn't even sure what I was going to say to her. But I knew I needed her to talk to me. Yell at me, anything...

I didn't sleep much that night. I found myself tossing and turning and imagining every scenario of how this talk could go. She could hear what I have to say, end up completely hating me, and never want anything more to do with me other then Sofia. I know I wasn't the easiest person to deal with. especially since the accident. I had placed the fact that my leg was gone solely on Callie's shoulders. Not to mention the fact that I cheated on her.

Or, she could completely forgive me and we could take steps toward fixing our future. I didn't want a future without her in it. In fact, that was the last thing I wanted. But, I have made my bed, and know I have to lay in it.

I picked up my phone and dialed to the nice old lady Mrs. Pitt. She lived in the apartments just below us, and thinks Sofia was the cutest thing to ever walk the planet. Which, of course is true. She looks so much like Callie. She is retired and widowed, so she has a lot of free time on her hands. She offered to watch Sofia whenever we needed. Even on short notice. We had to use her on more than one occasion, both of us being called into the ER or into emergency surgery at the same time. Luckily she was free today for as long as we needed.

I got Sofia ready and took her down. She loved staying with . I have a sneaking suspicion the grey haired angel feeds her mounds of cookies and ice cream before she sends her home. That thought makes me smile.

I found myself trying to look presentable for Callie. I put on her favorite red dress of mine. I meticulously put on my makeup, and ran a brush through my curls more times then humanly necessary. But, I was going to pull out all the stops. I needed all the help I could get.

"I got mrs. Pitt from down stairs to watch Sofia until we are done talking. You can come over at anytime." I typed into my

Phone before sending.

It took what felt like forever to get a text back.

"I stayed at a hotel last night. I'll be over in an hour or two. I just woke up" Her text message back read.

A hotel. Why was she staying in a hotel?

"See you soon." I typed back. I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest as I hit the send button, my nerves getting the better of me.

I sat down and flicked on the TV waiting for the time to pass.

-Callie-

I've never minded hotels. In fact, I love them. And it only helps that right now, no place feels like home. I didn't sleep much last night, but then again I haven't been sleeping most nights anyway.

Arizona's text brought me out of the imaginary bubble I built myself last night. I had allowed myself to not think about anything other than stuffing my face full of hotel room service and ordering comedies on the hotel network. I over paid for food by who knows how much, and movies by probably $10 but I didn't care. I had a mini solo vacation.

I pulled myself out of bed and over to the shower, lazily. I took my time, letting the hot steam and surprisingly firm pressure of the shower head soothe my body. I had originally planned to fill my day with mindless activities of exploring Seattle. I have lived here for years at this point, but it honestly have never explored it.

Instead I was going to talk to my cheating wife. I have put it off for days, almost a week now, actually. I guess she's right. We do have a kid together. We need to work out things enough to at least set a schedule for her. That's really all I was interested in talking to her about, at least for now. But why do I have a feeling it's going to be much more talking about her illicit affair. Probably because it was.

I'm glad I kept an extra pair of clothes in my locker. Nothing fancy. Just a pair of blue washed out jeans, an old college t-shirt and a change of underwear.

I got dressed slowly looking at the time. It had been just over an hour since Arizona sent me the text message. I took my time getting ready. But I had to eventually get going.

I pulled up to the familiar parking lot and parked my car in it's usual spot.

I made my way slowly to the elevators and pressed 5 almost reluctantly. What was I supposed to do when I got up there? Knock? It was still my apartment.

I fumbled around in my purse for my keys. As the elevator doors to floor 5 opened. I decided to unlock the door. I wasn't going to visit a friend, or drop by on relatives I barely knew. I was going into my apartment I technically still owned and lived in. One week ago these thoughts wouldn't have even crossed my mind. And now here they were a cruel reminder of the situation I was in.

I put in the key and turned the lock. The living room was empty and I dropped my purse on the chair next to the door like I had every day for the past few years.

"Arizona?" I called out noticing the tv was on, but not seeing her anywhere.

"Calliope..." She said walking out of the bedroom. She looked beautiful in that dress. She always had, and it was my favorite on her. But I know what game she's playing and I can't fall for it.

We stood in an awkward silence for what felt like forever. I finally walked over to the tv and clicked it off and sat down on the couch, almost uncomfortably before relaxing into it.

"So, let's talk." I said as Arizona made he way over, and sat opposite me on the couch.

She uttered a lot of I'm sorry's and talked a while. Some of which I blocked out. Until we finally moved onto more talking.

"I will spend every day of the rest of my life apologizing to you if that's what it takes." Arizona said her blue eyes hazing over with the tears I could tell she had been fighting. "We've been here before, Arizona." I countered shaking my head. I was tired. I had only agreed to this conversation to get her off of my back. I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. "When you went to Africa, when you left me standing in an airport. That is what you said to me when you decided to come back." I said shaking my head.

"I was an idiot then, and I'm an idiot now. I made a mistake. she meant nothing to me, and she means nothing to me." Arizona said shaking her head. Her blonde curls bouncing. "Then why did you do it?" I asked crossing my arms over my

Chest. I wasn't even sure I wanted to know why she did it, but the question slipped out of my mouth.

"Everything had been so messed up..." Arizona started, before I found myself cutting her off. "I thought we had moved passed it! I thought we were ok again!" I yelled not giving her a chance to finish. "I thought so too..." Arizona said hanging her head. "Clearly we are never going to get past it. The leg will always be an issue. You can't forgive me. And I don't know if I can forgive you." I said. I had decided not to hold anything back, and I wasn't going to. She wanted to talk we were going to talk.

"After my leg..." Arizona started, her voice almost a whisper, I had to strain to hear her. "So much about me changed." She continued. "I didn't feel desirable. I didn't feel like myself." She said. Her tone so quiet and meek. "When Lauren came along, she made me feel desirable again." Arizona said shrugging her shoulders.

"Did I make you feel undesirable? Did I ever do, or say anything to make you think you were less desirable to me then the day we met?" I asked searching her eyes. "No." She said shaking her head. "Then it makes no sense to me. Leg or no leg, doesn't matter to me Arizona. You are..." I caught myself. "You were perfect." I said sighing. "I never saw you as anything but. Even after you spent months and months making me pay for what I had done by taking your leg." I said tears now falling on my cheek.

"You just don't get it." Arizona said shaking her head. "Obviously not." I said sighing. I felt like we were talking in circles. "When I lost the baby, I lost all control." Arizona said, her voice cracking. "Before my leg, before the baby, I had some control over my life. I felt I had to control things in my life. I lost control with Lauren..." Arizona said her voice trailing off... "I wasn't thinking. I just did." She said wiping away the matted tears.

"I'm tired if being your doormat." The words rolled out of my mouth like word vomit. They weren't planned, they weren't some pre conceived cliched line for me to say. But, again, it was the truth. "I felt like I was nothing but supportive with you and your leg." I continued on. "I did what I could, with what I could. You weren't exactly cooperative. And I know, I know you were mad, I get it..." The words continued flowing out like a river I didn't have to think because it was all the truth. "And the baby, yes. That was horrible. The loss still hurts me too." I said clutching my chest.

Arizona looked up at me through her eyelashes. The look on her face was a cross between being stunned and shocked. "Callie... I made a mistake..." She said simply. Quietly. "You're not perfect." She continued the tears falling again.

"I know I'm not perfect." I said sighing. "I know I've made mistakes, big ones. But for the life of me Arizona, I can't stop picturing you with that woman." I said with a saddened laugh. "At night when I'm trying to sleep, a quiet moment in my lab, too much downtime in the car. There are those images playing in my mind." I said shaking my head. "I'm sick of that." I said sighing.

Arizona-

I didn't know what came over me at that moment, but I knew Callie wasn't holding nothing back. I could feel the anger and rage radiating off her skin. I could feel the hurt and anguish I had caused her too. I messed up. I am owning up to it. But as long as we are hashing everything out. Let's go full force.

"You slept with mark." I blurted out. Whoa, where did that come from?

"What?" Callie asked confused, her eyebrows furrowing in her forehead.

"You slept with mark, and you got pregnant. When I went to Africa you slept with mark, and you got pregnant." I said, the words flowed out of my mouth. It was almost as if a flood gate opened and now I couldn't close it.

"Yes, and we had a baby. Her name is Sofia. She calls you mommy." Callie said still clearly confused.

"You slept with mark." I reiterated.

"We covered that." Callie said sighing. "What are you getting at here? Are you trying to say me sleeping with mark is the same as you sleeping with Lauren?!" Callie asked standing up out of her seat.

"Because you went to Africa, Arizona. I thought I was never going to see you again. And we weren't married. We didn't take vows!" Callie said with a hint of hurt in her voice.

"No, that's not what I'm trying to say at all." I said closing my eyes and shaking my head. Why wasn't what I wanted to say coming out the way I wanted to say it? I was now frustrating her, and myself.

"I stayed. Despite the fact that you were now pregnant with someone else's child, I stayed, despite the fact that we had barley broken up and you were pregnant with someone else's child, I stayed!" I said yelling. I found myself standing now too.

Callie looked almost shocked at this revelation. Like it was the first time she had ever thought about it.

"And no, I'm not comparing this to that, because we were broken up, and I know that, I know that ok?" I said, still yelling. "But you're not perfect either. And Sofia is mine. I know she's yours, and I know she's marks, but she's mine too!" I said yelling louder now.

"You went to Africa. You were supposed to be gone for 3 years. How was I supposed to know you were coming back?" Callie said. Her tone was higher than normal, but she wasn't yelling.

"You were so quick to jump in bed with mark is my point! No.. That's not even my point! I'm saying that now because that whole situation hurt me!" I said shaking my head. The words I wanted to say still weren't coming out the way I wanted them to.

"Well, what is your point?" Callie asked, now clearly annoyed with me.

"My point is I stayed calliope. My point is, I went through everything with you. My point is I love you so I was willing to push everything else aside and make it work. I stayed, we made a family. You gave me an out, but I promised you I'd stop running. I stayed! That's my point." I finally said. I drew in a long breath, my lungs desperate for air, after my rambling.

Callie stared at me. Her chocolate brown eyes were wide, and the expression on her face fell. It really did look like this was the first time she had really had to thought about what had happened between us after I came back from Africa.

I never have regretted my decision. Even now. I love Callie, and I love the life we built. And I love my baby. I never even wanted children, but here I am. I'm a mother of the most beautiful kid to grace this planet, with the most beautiful woman who ever graced this planet. Nope, I will never regret my decision.

Callie remained quiet. I could tell by the look on her face that she had a million thoughts running through her brain. My mind was racing too. Had I just said what I said? Did I finally get the words to come out right?

"I'm not going to give up on us. I love you. I love our life. This past week has been hell! I can't live with out you Callie." I said after a long, almost too long moment of silence.

"You cheated on me Arizona..." Callie said timidly. "Part of me wishes you never would have told me. I wish I could stop seeing images of you and that woman together..."

"I made a mistake. Please Callie... I'll do whatever it takes to make this work. I messed up, I will never do it again! I can't promise you perfection, but I can promise you this will never happen again." I said. Tears were pooling in my eyes once again. I didn't want to lose her, I couldn't lose her.

"I don't need much in life. I don't even need my leg. I can do without a lot of things, but there are something's I can't live without. I can't live without Sofia, and I can't live without you." I said pouring out my soul. I could see Callie's eyes searching mine. Almost as if she were looking for the truth in my words.

She stayed quiet. All but a small sob that escaped her lips, before tears started falling down her cheeks. I made a move toward her slowly, almost afraid i'd scare her away if I made fast and sudden movements.

She was hugging herself tightly, and I reached out my hand placing it on her arm. The familiar spark was there. And I wondered if she could feel it too.

"Calliope..." I said now standing almost flush against her. "Say something. Please." I said, my eyes searching hers. "I love you." I said, as I wrapped both my hands around her arms.

I took a deep breath and pushed myself up on my toes. I pushed my lips to hers and prayed to the heavens above she wouldn't pull away.


	6. Chapter 6

End of chapter 5

"Calliope..." I said now standing almost flush against her. "Say something. Please." I said, my eyes searching hers. "I love you." I said, as I wrapped both my hands around her arms.

I took a deep breath and pushed myself up on my toes. I pushed my lips to hers and prayed to the heavens above she wouldn't pull away.

Xx

Chapter 6

-Callie-

I didn't know what to do, it was almost as if I was frozen in place. My body naturally reacted to Arizona's kiss. It was familiar. It was electric just like it always was, but I couldn't shake the nagging feeling in my chest. I pushed all thoughts out of my head and grabbed her firmly, letting my fingers sprawl out on the small of her back. I pulled her closer to me, completely unsure of what I was doing.

I needed to make sure there was still some semblance of the woman I married left in there. I needed to make sure that through everything there was still some spark. I wasn't sure I was ready to forgive her, or if I'd ever be able to forgive her, but I was sure I wanted to know this much.

Arizona's arms snaked around my neck. She used one hand to pull my head in closer. She held me so tight. she pressed her chest into mine, and her breathing became uneven. I could feel her fingers start to tremble. I tried to pull away, but she just tightened her grip and pulled me closer.

"Arizona..." I finally said pulling away. "We have to stop this." I said shaking my head. "I know you felt it, I know you felt the spark." Arizona said still holding onto me. Her blue eyes piercing mine. Her gaze was un-faltering.

"I just needed to make sure it was still there." I said finally pulling away. "Calliope." She said, her tone pleading. "I can't do this right now Arizona. I'm still hurt. I can't just allow you back in. What you did to me, what happened between you and Lauren, it was wrong." I said taking a step back. "I need time..." I said sighing.

"I meant what I said Callie. I meant every word. I will not give up on us. You and Sofia are everything to me." Arizona said taking a step forward. "You should have thought about that before you cheated." I said sighing and taking another step back.

"I just need some time. I need some space to clear my head." I said after a thick silence had filled the air between us. "Time..." Arizona said, almost as if she was testing the word on her mouth.

"We need to figure out a schedule for Sofia. This whole two days here and two days with me is starting to ware on her, and I don't want her more hurt and confused then she has to be." I said running my hands over my thighs.

"So that's it? We are just done talking about this?" Arizona asked, her voice cracking. So many emotions had covered her face today, but the look she was giving me was unreadable. "Yes... I didn't want to talk about this at all." I said shrugging "we need to figure this schedule out. For Sofia's sake" I continued on.

"I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you too." Arizona said sobbing. She almost fell forward but caught herself. "You said you wouldn't leave. You promised!" She shouted. "And you promised to be faithful." I said quietly. The words were almost forced out.

Arizona almost immediately stopped crying at those words. The look on her face was pained and sent a shockwave straight to my heart. I wasn't trying to cut to the core, but it was true and I wasn't going to tiptoe around it.

"I'm going out of town for a few days. I can either take Sofia, or you can keep her here, it's up to you." I said moving on. I needed to get out of this space for a while, the sooner the better. I had set everything up last night, which was part of the reason I stayed at the hotel.

"Calliope, please don't run..." Arizona said, her makeup had run down her face and she feverishly tried wiping away her tears. "I'm not running." I said sighing and shaking my head. "I need to clear my head. I literally can't get the image of you with that woman out of my mind. I'm driving myself crazy." I said instantly regretting all the information I had just given her. "I just need to go away and clear my head.." I reiterated to her.

"I'll keep Sofia." Arizona said clearing her throat. "When are you leaving?" She asked me. She had a weird look on her face. "Tomorrow. Don't feel like you have to take her. I'm not running away with her Arizona. I just need some time." I said sighing. "I have a few days off. I'd just like to spend them with her." Arizona was quick to say. "Ok then. I'll just go get her for the evening if you don't mind. I'll drop her off tonight." I said backing towards the door. "That's fine." Arizona said before I opened it and walked out not looking back.

-Arizona-

That could have gone better. It could have gone worse too. I don't like that she's leaving Seattle. And I didn't think I even had the right to ask where she was going. Especially since she said she'd leave Sofia if I wanted.

I am just glad she's not running. There's still hope for us. At least I hope there's hope for us. I messed up. Big time. There's nothing I can do to make this better. All I can do is take it a day at a time. And I know I'll hear from her everyday she's gone. I know her. She'll want to check on Sofia every chance she gets.

I sure wish I had someone unbiased to talk to. I wish Tim were still alive. I wish I wouldn't have cheated. I wish I wouldn't have lost control. I wish a lot of things.

I sat down and picked up my phone dialing the only person I could think to call. The phone rang several times before the familiar voice came across the line. That's all it took for me to come apart at the seams.

"Arizona, sweetheart. How are you?" My mom said. Her voice was upbeat and cheery. "I've been better." I said sniffling. I was trying to hold it together but I just couldn't. "My darling, what's wrong?" My mom asked, concern laced in her voice. "Mom, I'm sorry I didn't know who else to call." I said now sobbing. "Arizona, you're worrying me. What's wrong? Are you ok? Is it Callie? Is it Sofia?" She asked her voice getting higher in pitch the more questions she asked.

"I made a mistake. A huge one, and I think my marriage is over." I said letting it all out. "What happened?" My mom asked, her voice settling down a little bit. "I... I..." I said trying to find the words. How was I supposed to tell my mom I cheated, and messed up the best thing about my life. "You what?" My mom asked pressing on.

"I cheated on calliope mom. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I think I lost her." I said in one swoop. "Oh, Arizona." My mom said sighing. I had always been taught to be a good man in a storm, to stand up for what I believe in, start something and follow through. And here I am admitting defeat to one of the people who instilled those values in me.

"Everything has been so messed up. I don't even know what I was thinking. I was instantly regretful. Mom I can't lose her." I said. I had already told her the worst of it. I might as well let it all out. "Honey... I don't understand." My mom sighed into the phone. "You are made for wax other. It's obvious." She said her voice barely more than a whisper.

"I know. But everything just was so crazy and I lost control and I... I can't fix this mom. I can't make it better. She's leaving tomorrow. I don't even know where she's going." I said starting to get control of my emotions. "And Sofia?" My mom asked. "She's staying with me. Callie offered to let her stay while she went away." I said feeling my heart constrict in my chest. "She's leaving Sofia behind?!" My mom asked concerned. "She said she's going away for a few days." I cleared up.

"Well, sweetheart. She's not going away. She's getting space. She probably needs that right now." My

Mom said gently. "How would you feel if the tables were turned?" She asked, Always the one to make me see every side of the story. "I don't know. I don't want to think about how I would feel if she cheated on me." I admitted, begrudgingly. "So imagine how she feels." My mom said.

"I know. I just hope she doesn't leave me for good. I don't know that I can do this without her." I said crying again. "Give her time. She's hurting too baby." My mom said consoling me. "I miss you." I said pulling myself back together again. "I miss you too. I'll try to get there soon ok?" My mom asked in her soothing tone. "I love you mom." I said wanting to wrap up the call. "I love you too Arizona. Make things right." She said sighing. "I hope I can. Goodbye." I said hanging up the phone.

Hours had passed. I didn't even move from my seat, I couldn't. I felt an overwhelming feeling of numbness take over my body. Callie was leaving. I have no idea where she's going. All I want to do is hold her. All I want to do is make it better. It wasn't until the door flung open that I even flinched.

"Sofia needs a bath. We went to the park and she's filthy. If you don't mind I'll do it." Callie said walking on the door. I felt my heart sink. Maybe all we needed was for Sofia to be around to talk normally. "Uh.. Ya that's fine." I said sitting up. "Come on Sofia. Mama's gonna give you a bath and tuck you in. And then I have to go away for a few days." Callie said holding Sofia on her hip and disappearing into the bathroom.

I watched their interaction from the door quietly. I almost felt like I was an intruder. But she was my daughter too. "You're going to stay here with mommy while I'm away. You have to be a good girl for her ok?" Callie asked Sofia as she washed her little arms. "I'm going to miss you so much." Callie said leaning in and giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"Mama don't go." Sofia said shaking her head. "Baby I'm sorry. I have to, but I'll be back really soon." Callie said. I could tell by her voice she was choking back tears.

The rest of bath time was spent with some laughter and the struggle of getting her out. Callie read Sofia a bed time story as I poured myself a glass of wine. It felt like a normal night in the house and I was wishing Callie would stay and I could make everything better. I also knew I needed to give her her space.

"She's asleep." Callie said stepping out of the room. "I just have to grab some stuff and then I'll be out of here." She said making her way toward our bed room.

She started throwing clothes that she had left behind in a suitcase. I couldn't help the feelings that were stirring around inside my head and heart. She didn't leave one item of clothing in the drawers this time. I felt like the wind was being knocked out of me, and this was it. She wasn't coming back. Not home to me anyway.

"I'll call tomorrow after I land to check on Sofia. I brought her teddy bear. It's in the diaper bag." Callie said walking out of the room. I wanted to stop her. I wanted to keep her there. But I didn't know what to say to make her stay.

"Ok. Be safe." I said not finding any other words. "Yep." She said pulling her suitcase towards the door. And then she was gone.

Xx

A/N ok so I know this was shorter then the previous chapters, but it was getting kinda heavy, and hard to write. Also it's my second upload. Something went amiss the first time. Hope you enjoyed it!


	7. Chapter 7

-Callie-

Most people who know me, wonder why I became a doctor. I hate mornings, and I love my sleep. Both of those things become a a rarity when you begin your internship. You are constantly being paged at all hours of the night, and often spend multiple nights a week in the hospital in on call rooms just trying to score a few hours of sleep, or jump at any incoming surgeries. It doesn't change much when you're at my level either. But I love my job. I wouldn't change it for the world, and it allows me to sleep anywhere. I can literally fall asleep standing up at this point.

It was no surprise that I didn't last long before falling asleep on my plane ride. It wasn't until we began our descent into LAX, and the captain came over the loud speakers that I had even realized I had fallen asleep.

This will be the first time in years I have taken a vacation pager free, and kid free. I already miss Sofia, but I will see her in a few days. And I really needed this space to clear my head. I'm far from the pity stares, far from the woman who drives me absolutely insane because I don't know if I want to kiss her or hit her, far from the reminders of why we are apart, and waiting to soak up the sunshine.

I called Addison the night I decided I needed to get away, and she was more then gracious. I will be spending the few days I have off in LA, in her home. I still talk to her on the phone and through text messaging, but it's not the same as being able to hang out with her in person.

Xxxx

"Callie Torres. Fancy meeting you here." Addison says with her famous arch of the eyebrow. "Addy!" I say walking over to give her a hug. "It's so good to see you!" She says pulling me in tighter. We have effectively pissed off people trying to get to their bags at the carousel in the crowded busy airport. A few mumbles and sighs bring us out of our moment and we part.

"I'm so glad you finally decided to come visit. I wasn't sure I could convince you." Addison said as we pulled away from the airport. "I missed you. And I did need to get away. Thank you for letting me stay." I said looking over at her and mustering up the biggest smile I could. "You are welcome, anytime. Sofia too." Addison said smiling.

"Now let's go home, open a bottle of wine,get completely trashed and talk some smack!" Addison said with a huge smile. "Addy, it's 9 in the morning." I said with a laugh. "Yes, and you're on vacation! Live a little!" Addison said with a laugh. I laughed, a genuine laugh for the first time in a week. "Fine, let's go get breakfast then party pooper." Addison said as she picked up speed down the freeway.

We ate at a small restaurant just off the beach. It smelled of seafood and Coffee. "So, do you want to talk about it?" Addison asked taking a sip of her coffee. "What's there to talk about?" I asked shrugging my shoulders and pushing my food around my plate. "How about everything?" Addison asked, her perfectly shaped eyebrow arching in an inquisitive look. "She cheated. She withheld sex from me for months, and then when I finally think things are getting better she cheated." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"I cheated on Derek you know." Addison said sighing. "Is that supposed to make me feel better? You guys are divorced." I asked her almost feeling angry that she brought it up. "No. But it's true... I cheated, and so maybe I'm not the best person to turn to for comfort." Addison said almost reluctantly. "Addy, marks gone, everyone at the hospital looks at me with pity, I can't go to my parents. You're the only one I can talk to." I said sighing.

"All I can say is this. You and Arizona are not me and Derek. We were doomed far before I ever cheated." Addison said reaching across the table and grabbing my hand. "You two have something special. That spark... I'm not defending Arizona by any means, but there's no denying that spark." Addison said pulling her hand back and sighing.

"I just want to spend these few days not thinking. I need to clear my mind, if I have to think about Arizona and that woman for another moment I'm going to crack." I said, honestly to Addison. "Ok then, let's clear your mind. I think some retail therapy is in order." She said with a smirk on her face.

We spent the day getting lost in Beverly Hills. We laughed and talked all day long. I didn't do much shopping, but I found a few cute things for Sofia I just couldn't pass up. "I have to call Arizona." I said sighing as we paid for the last of our purchases. "Why?" Addison asked me confused. "I have to check on Sofia. I left her with Arizona. I really didn't think it through, but I didn't want to keep them away from each other either." I said sighing. "So call her and talk to your beautiful little girl, you don't have to talk to Arizona if you don't want too." Addison said re-assuringly. "But tonight, we go out. No questions. We are getting trashed and talking smack. I need my dose of gossip." Addison said with a smirk.

-Arizona-

Sofia and I had a busy day. We went to the park, got some ice cream, and now we are curled up on the couch watching Cinderella. It's been uncharacteristically warm here in Seattle today. The sun has worn both Sofia and I out. Just as I was about to doze off on the couch my phone rang.

"Hello." I answered, automatically recognizing Callie's ringtone. "Hey. How's Sofia?" She asked getting straight to the point. "She's fine. She's napping we had a busy day." I said as I ran my fingers through the sleeping toddlers hair. "Oh, ok. I just wanted to check in on her." Callie said sighing. "I'll have her call you when she wakes up if you'd like." I said politely. I really wanted to remain amicable with her. At least she was talking to me. even if it was only about Sofia.

"That's fine. I'm not sure what I'll be doing later, but I'll make sure to have my phone on me." Callie said with a laugh. I also heard laughter in the background, and I felt a twinge of jealousy spike through me. "No, get that one." Callie said clearly no longer focusing on me, and focusing on whoever she was with on the other side of the phone. "Ok. I'll have her call you later then." I said ready to hang up the phone. "Ok. Bye." Callie said, and with that she hung up.

I don't know who she was laughing with, but she sounded like her old self. I felt the jealousy boiling deep inside of me, and I couldn't help it. I had no right to be jealous, or did I? She is still my wife. We are separated, not divorced.

I wanted desperately to text her or call her back, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Had the roles been reversed I think I would be beyond angry if she was calling to check up on me.

It was nearing Sofia's bed time and I still hadn't called Callie. I know I said id have Sofia call her when she woke up but I was almost scared. I think a week is quite a short amount of time for her to move on, but she might just be angry enough not to care. And the thought of her with someone, anyone else was plaguing my brain.

"Suck it up Arizona. You brought this on yourself. Just call her. She wants to hear from Sofia." I scolded myself quietly over the kitchen sink. "Come on Sof, let's call mama." I said scooping her up.

The phone rang twice before she answered.

"Hello?" She asked slightly out of breath.

Why is she out if breath?

"Callie, you ok?" I asked less concerned, more curious. "Yes, I almost didn't hear my phone and it was loud so I had to run outside." She said getting her wind back. "Sorry it took so long, but we got busy. Ready to talk to Sofia?" I asked gently. "Yes, let me talk to my girl." Callie said, a happy tone evident. I switched the phone over to speaker and set it on the floor between us.

"Hi baby. Are you having fun with mommy?" Callie asked cheerfully.

Sofia mumbled some words then the word park causing me to laugh. "You went to the park? I wish I could have gone with you." Callie said, her voice a little sadder. I heard some yelling in the background as Sofia mumbled a few more things. "I miss you. I'll be home in a few days. I have some things for you." Callie said ignoring what ever was behind her.

I couldn't help but to continue wondering where she was. She could be anywhere. Was she having fun? Was she trying to move on? I didn't want that. I want us to work. Maybe I should say something.

Sofia and Callie talked back and forth for a while, and I found I had zoned out on the whole conversation. My thoughts were eating me alive. "Crap, Arizona." Callie said before I picked up the phone. "Yea?" I asked taking it off of speaker.

"My dad is calling. He doesn't know about us." Callie said a little quieter then when she was talking to Sofia. "Ok." I said simply, confused about where she was going with this. "He probably wants to talk to the baby, and obviously I can't do that because I'm not in Seattle." She said sighing. "Well just have him call my cell phone." I said offering up a solution. "If he asks I'm at a conference. He'd never believe I went somewhere else without you and Sofia." Callie said in that tone she gets when she's nervous.

"Where are you anyway?" I asked finally finding the courage. "I gotta go. He's going to keep calling. I'll call Sofia tomorrow." Callie said hanging up the phone.

Shit.

It wasn't long before my phone started ringing. It was Carlos. Of course I knew it would be, but I was hoping it was her again.

"Hello Carlos..." I said using my most cheerful tone.

-Callie-

As Addison promised, we went to a small bar within walking distance from her house. After a few glasses... Ok, a few bottles of wine, the trash talking commenced.

"So she just cheated? Just like that?" Addison asked me. Her tone slurred and she looked a little fuzzy. "Just like that." I said gesturing my , I was drunk. "I found the other woman with Arizona's scrub top on." I said arching an eyebrow and taking a huge drink from my glass. "How did you know it was Arizona's?" Addison asked popping an Olive in her mouth. "Oh, ya. That. Arizona's wedding ring was pinned to her scrub top. That's where we wore them so they wouldn't get in the way." I said pulling at my shirt.

"Intense." Addison said simply. I don't know what it was, but her tone caused me to laugh. Uncontrollable laughter. She stared at me for a while before she joined in on the laughter, and then we were both in a fit.

"You're drunk." Addison finally said as our laughter died down. "So are you!" I said chucking an Olive at her. "This feels like old times." She said looking at me and smiling. "It does." I said agreeing and pouring myself another glass of wine. "You know, we always have openings at the clinic here." Addison said in my fuzzy haze. "You can basically set your schedule. That means time off with Sofia." Addison continued on.

"I can't just leave Seattle. I can't take Sofia away from her mom." I said sighing. "The offer sounds tempting." I said, finding myself quietly contemplating her offer. "I'm not saying you have to decide now. I'm just saying think about it." Addison said pouring her next glass.

Xxxx

The next few days passed quickly. I almost found myself wanting to stay and take Addison up on her offer. The only thing getting me on the plane was the fact that Sofia was waiting for me.

I landed in Seattle just after 2. The day was hazy, but there was no rain fall. Meredith graciously agreed to pick me up from the airport, and it was almost a relief to see her.

"So, how was your time in LA?" She asked pulling me into a hug. It was weird to think that I had just spent my time with Derek's ex wife and now his new wife was picking me up from the airport. I had to let out a small laugh.

"It was really great. Addison basically offered me a position at her clinic." I said sighing. "You didn't accept did you?!" Meredith asked me in an almost hyper manner. "No." I said simply. "Good." Meredith said letting out a sigh. "I said i'd think about it." I said shrugging my shoulders. "Callie Torres! You cannot move to LA!" Meredith said stomping her foot. It almost shocked me. We had become close in the time I have been staying with them, but this was a whole other side to her.

"I don't know what I want to do Mer. I'm so confused it's ridiculous." I said shaking my head as I pulled my luggage off the moving carousel. "You can't leave." She said following me. "I didn't say I was. I just said I was thinking about it." I replied simply.

"My dad called while I was in LA." I told her as we got in the car. "And?" Meredith asked starting it up. "Arizona told him everything. I asked her not to, but apparently she did. He wouldn't stop calling me!" I said sighing. "And she's still alive?" Meredith asked with a smile. "You're as shocked as I am!" I said returning her smile. "What did he say?" She asked as we pulled out of sea tac. "He told me he cheated on my mother." I said clearing my throat. "Meredith! Watch it!" I said as she swerved almost hitting the car in front of us.

"He what?!" Meredith asked in shock. "He said he made a mistake years ago, and she found it in her heart to forgive him." I said as my leg shook beneath me. I had to talk to someone about this. It was a lot to take in. All I wanted was a relaxing vacation, and I ended up leaving more stressed out then when I went. "Wow." Was the only response I got. "He said he had a lapse in judgment, and that she found it in her heart to look past that. Had she not he wouldn't be happily married today... What am I supposed to do with that information?" I asked with a laugh.

"I don't know." Meredith said wide eyed. "I didn't mean to unload on you." I said shaking my head. "No, it's ok. I mean. How do you feel about it all?" She asked genuinely concerned. "I'm not sure. I'm still trying to process." I said ringing my fingers in my hand. "I don't want Sofia to have to go through a divorce. She already lost her dad. How much more can I put her through?" I asked looking over at Meredith. "I understand, but you can't stay just for her either. Not if you're going to be unhappy." Meredith said. She made a good point. At this point I'm not sure if id be unhappy or if I could make it work with Arizona.

"I just need to get home, get Sofia, and figure it out. Do you mind if we stay with you for a few more days? Just until I can make some decisions. I just need more time." I asked Meredith almost nervously. "You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like." Meredith said with a smile.

We drove the rest of the way in silence. The soft music of Madonna played in the background. We were nearing the house and I felt my heart start to beat faster in my chest. What was I going to do?

-Arizona-

"Sofia your mama is coming for you today." I told her smiling. I hated to admit it, and I hated having to let Sofia go, but I was excited to see Callie. Perhaps now I'd figure out where she had gone. No one would tell me, and I didn't really ask.

I was packing her things as she continued to unpack them. "Sofia stop. You want to take these with you, don't you?" I asked laughing. "I Stay here with you and mama!" She said stomping her foot. She obviously inherited her mothers Torres temper I thought, inwardly laughing. "I wish it were that simple baby." I said sighing.

"Let's go watch a movie." I said trying to coax her away from her bag. "Cinderella!" She said jumping up and down. "Of course." I said with a smile, knowing that would be her choice of movie. I had watched it 15 times over the past few days. I threw it on and continued to pack her bag while she was distracted.

My phone rang taking me away from the task at hand. "Derek?" I thought picking up the phone. "What is he calling me for?" I wondered answering it. "Hey Derek. I'm not on call today." I said resting the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

"I'm not calling you into work." Derek said, his tone was off. "Are you ok? Are the kids ok?" I asked noting the sound of his voice. "There was an accident." He said, his tone somber. "Oh my god, do you need me to take the kids? Are you ok? Is Meredith ok?" I asked. I could hear my tone start to rise.

"Meredith is being rushed to the hospital." He said, his voice cracking. "Oh Derek." I said clutching my chest. "Arizona... Callie was in the car with her." He said. I had to be hearing things. Did he say Callie was with her? "Arizona?" He asked. My heart sank into my stomach and I felt dizzy. "Is she... Is she ok?" I asked on the brink of tears. "I don't know. They haven't told me anything, I'm on my way to the hospital now." He said and I heard his car start. "Calliope." I said closing my eyes and trying to compose myself.

"I thought you should know. I tried calling both of their phones but it went straight to voice mail for both of them." He said. "I have to go. I'll see you at the hospital." I said hanging up the phone. "Callie, please be ok." I silently prayed. "Please be ok." I said again as the tears came.

A/N: so how bad do you hate me? Let's hear it. I wasn't sure where this was going to go. And I know there's already been an accident, but there you have it, this is where the story went.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

-General POV-

Arizona felt like she couldn't get to the hospital fast enough. Her heart was beating uncontrollably in her chest, and her palms were sweaty as she tried to keep a good grip on the steering wheel. Sofia was sitting in her car seat quietly. It was a rarity for her. She was usually singing along to whatever song was on the radio or talking about anything and everything. Not today. She had sensed something was not right, and she gripped tight to her favorite teddy bear.

Usually Arizona would just walk across the street to the hospital, but Not today. She wasn't sure what the day was going to hold. Callie was in the hospital in yet another car accident. The first one she had been in, when Sofia was born, sent her right through the windshield. She almost lost both of them that day.

"First there was the shooting, after that, I left to Africa. I left Callie standing in an airport, I came back only to put her through a windshield. I almost lost her and Sofia that day, then there was the plane crash. Not only did it take my leg away, but it took mark from Sofia and Callie, and even me. Then I cheated. I cheated on my wife who had been so supportive of me. Now this? How is this what our lives have become?" Arizona thought parking the car.

She pulled Sofia out of her car seat and took her directly to the day care. "Sof, mommy will be back a little later ok? Look. There's Zola, go play." She said gently pushing her toward her friend. Sofia didn't move. She stayed glued to her leg. Usually it wasn't a problem to drop her off, especially if Zola was there. This kid was too smart for her own good, she definitely knew something was amiss.

After some gentle coaxing and the promise of chocolate pudding she finally relented and let go of Arizona. With a slight limp, Arizona moved as fast as She could making her way down to the ER. It felt like it was taking forever and She couldn't get there quick enough.

"Where is she?" Arizona yelled seeing Derek. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were heavy like he was fighting tears. "Trauma two." He said, his voice was husky and forced.

Arizona tried to go in and check on her, but Bailey stopped her at the door. "No. You go wait in the ER waiting room." She said gripping both of her forearms.

"I want to know how she is!" Arizona yelled causing all the nursing staff to stop and look at the commotion. She didn't care. She was scared, and angry, and she needed to know. "She's awake and responsive, but we are checking for internal bleeding. She's complaining of stomach pain and a headache. She may have a concision." Bailey said silently. "Awake and responsive" were the words Arizona was holding on to. With that she let out a relieved breath.

"And what about Meredith?" Arizona asked. Her voice was shaking, and She thought she was going to crack. She needed something, anything to hold herself together. "A few bumps and bruises. Her right arm looks broken, but nothing too major." Bailey said pointing over to Meredith and Derek. He was kissing her forehead and holding her close.

"I'm so glad you're ok." Arizona said walking over to Meredith and placing her hand on her leg. "I'm sorry... Arizona, I don't know what happened, we were driving and then this truck hit us and..." Meredith said as Derek leaned into her even further "shhh... It was an accident." He said in a soothing tone.

"They won't let me see her." Arizona said licking her lips. "Bailey stopped me at the door and she won't let me see her." She continued shaking her head. The tears sprang into her eyes and She didn't even care to stop them.

"She was awake... She was talking." Meredith said slightly dazed from the drugs she was administered. "I am sorry Arizona." She said before her eyes fluttered closed and she fell asleep.

"This is stupid... Stupid, stupid, stupid." Arizona said to no one in particular as she paced back and forth in the ER waiting room. Her leg had started to hurt, where the prosthetic was rubbing into her flesh, but the pain was minimal compared to the fear.

It had been an hour and still She had heard nothing. She couldn't help but feel like Bailey was holding a slight grudge against her. "Of course she is holding a grudge. She and Callie are friends, and I had cheated on her. I cheated on my wife." She thought. She closed her eyes at the sound of those words. "I cheated on my wife. That was the cold harsh reality." It felt like a knife twisting in her stomach whenever she thought of it.

"Arizona." Baileys voice came from behind her stopping her cold in her tracks. "Yes." She said closing her eyes, taking a deep breath and sighing. Her heightened senses made her lose blonde hair tickle her skin as she turned to look at Bailey. "We are going to prep her for surgery. There are some spots on her scan, and I'm not sure how bad the bleeds are. I want to be safe and make sure that we get everything." Bailey said sitting her down.

"She wants to speak with you." Bailey said quietly as Arizona drew in another quick breath. "This can't be happening. Again." Arizona said shaking her head. "She's waiting for you. You have a few minutes." Bailey said getting up and walking away.

Arizona pulled herself together and smoothed down her jeans against her thighs before making her way back to the ER. "Trauma room 2" she said walking at a brisk pace.

She opened the door slowly not sure of how many people were on the other side. "She's alone." Arizona thought, as Her heart dropped into her stomach. "My calliope." She thought. Callie had a few gashes on her forehead and one large gash on her cheek. Her lip had been busted open and she had a black eye to boot.

"Calliope." She said, in a whisper. "Arizona?" Callie asked stirring. Her eyes were closed and she didn't intended on opening them anytime soon.

"Yeah, it's me." Arizona said inching closer to the bed. "Sofia..." Callie said now opening one eye. "She's not with me, she's in day care." Arizona said quietly placing a hand on the foot of the bed.

Callie took in a deep breath and let it out through her mouth gently before she forced her eyes open. "Take care of her." She said with a soft smile her brown eyes opening to meet blue.. "I will, until you're out of here don't worry." Arizona said forcing a smile on her face. "Even in this state she is beautiful." Arizona thought tilting her head to one side.

"She loves you so much, you know?" Callie asked with a smile. "Whenever she's with me, she asks about you." She continued on her smile fading. "Callie I... I hate this." Arizona said, her voice hitching in her throat, before She was cut off. "She asks all the time when is mommy going to eat dinner with us again." Callie said with a chuckle.

"Bailey says you need surgery." The blonde said sighing. She couldn't handle the thought of those conversations, and she needed to change the subject. "I know..." Callie said weakly. "Here we are again." Callie said shaking her head. "Again..." Arizona said finally resisting her urges and placing a hand on Callie's leg. She didn't move or flinch when Arizona's hand came into contact with her."that must be a good sign." Arizona thought taking in a steady breath.

"Bailey said there was blood on the scan." Callie said fighting to keep her eyes open. "Yeah. She mentioned that." Arizona said quietly. "Did they tell you what else they found?" Callie asked her voice edging on the verge of sleep. "No... What else did they find?" Arizona asked feeling the panic start to rise in her voice.

"I was so stupid. I should have thought... But I wasn't thinking. I was trying to clear my mind... I got so drunk in LA." Callie started mumbling. Her speech slightly slurred from the drugs being continuously given to her through her IV bag. "What did Bailey find Callie?" Arizona asked curiously.

"Addison. I went to see Addison. She offered me a job." Callie said her eyes fluttering. "A job?" Arizona asked feeling like she was going to be sick. "I can't take it, I mean not now, obviously." Callie said drifting closer and closer to sleep. And with that she was out.

Bailey popped in right behind Arizona startling her into a jump. "Ok we have to take her into surgery now. I'll make sure you're updated. No gallery." Bailey said sternly.

"Bailey!" She said loosing her patience. "I know I messed up, believe me I am living with this guilt everyday! I messed up probably the best thing I had going for me, but Callie needs me, and no matter what she is still my wife." Arizona said inching closer and closer to Bailey. "I won't do any harm by sitting in the gallery!" Arizona seethed.

"Fine, but quietly. No noise." Bailey said glaring at the blonde. She didn't hate Arizona, she actually likes the woman. But now, especially feeling so raw, and this happening... Well, Sometimes people just think about the moment rather then beyond it.

Callie was in and out of sleep on her way from the ER to surgery. She found comfort in the familiar faces around her. "Don't worry. We've got this." Bailey said smiling at her. Re-assuring her. "Did you tell her?" Callie asked her eyes fluttering open and then shut again. "I didn't think it was my place. Did you tell her?" Bailey asked stroking her hand over the Carmel skin. "I tried. I don't think I did." Callie said shaking her head before falling asleep again.

Arizona took her place quietly in the gallery. This all too familiar feeling took over her body as she sat down in the first row and started rubbing her hands against her thighs. She looked down into the OR as nurses began running around getting everything in place.

"Ten blade." Bailey said reaching out her hand. Arizona watched every move made in that OR. People were swirling around Callie, her Callie, much like they were the first time.

She drifted in and out of reality for the remainder of the surgery. "So she as in LA with Addison." Arizona thought. There was slight relief in the knowledge that she hasn't left her and hasn't slept with someone else. "But what else was she trying to tell me?" Arizona thought, standing up and placing her hands against the cool glass.

"What else could thy have possibly found? It can't be that bad." Arizona's thoughts continued. "Then again, Callie was pretty drugged up. Maybe she just didn't want to tell me." She thought starting to feel the panic rise, yet again.

It was another 45 minutes before they had finished the surgery and closed Callie up. Bailey looked up and have Arizona a nod, signaling the surgery went without a hitch. For the first time in the past few hours Arizona felt herself breath, really actually breathe.

Arizona had decided to go check on Sofia and take her to grab a quick bite to eat after she knew Callie was stable. She didn't notice how hungry she was until her nerves settled and she was able to breathe properly again. Before she has noticed another hour had passed and she decided to take Sofia back to day care, so she could go check on her wife.

Callie was asleep when Arizona made it to her room. Bailey wanted to leave her under sedation for a while. Luckily she didn't have any head trauma, and the surgery was fairly minor considering.

"I hate this, I really hate this." Arizona said stroking her hand over Callie's. "I want to hold you and take care of you. But I don't know if you'll let me." Arizona said with a sigh. "I'm so sorry." Arizona said still stroking her hand over Callie's. "I wish... If I could... I would take it all back. All of it." Arizona said stumbling over her words. "I would take all of it back." She reiterated. "The blaming you for my leg, the fights... Definitely the cheating." Arizona sighed.

"Today, after Derek's phone call, I didn't know what to think." Arizona said wiping away a tear that had begun to form. "I was scared. If I had lost you, even with you being so mad at me, especially with you being so mad at me. I don't think I could do it, any of it. At all. Not without you." Arizona said with a small laugh. "And then I thought of what it must have been like for you when you were losing me." Arizona said, her tone softer. "Thoughts came crashing through from your last accident. I didn't have much of a say then, we weren't married. I was basically no one. I really couldn't make any decisions" She said sighing and shaking her head. "This time around. I had all the say. What if your arm was killing you, or your leg. What if a limb was the only thing standing between you and death." Arizona breathed out.

"I wouldn't even hesitate. I would choose your life over your limb." Arizona said closing her eyes and gripping tighter to Callie's hand.

"How is she? She should be awake soon. I'm surprised she's not awake already." Bailey said checking her monitors. "Not yet." Arizona said shrugging before turning to face Bailey.

"Bailey, Callie said you guys found something else... She said you found something when you were checking her over, but she never told me what." Arizona said standing up and letting go of Callie's hand.

"I think it's something you two need to discuss." Bailey said giving Callie a once over. "She is my wife Bailey. I think I have a right to know." Arizona said crossing her arms. "You do. And she'll tell you." Bailey said turning and leaving the room before Arizona could say any more.

Callie grumbled a little bit, slightly shocking Arizona. "Callie?" Arizona asked. "I've been awake for a while." Callie said, her voice husky and dry. "But I still have a headache." She continued on as she lifted her hand to rub her temple. "Why didn't you move? I was so worried!" Arizona said rushing back to Callie's side. "You were talking. I was listening." Callie said with her eyes still closed.

"How much did you hear?" Arizona asked slightly wide eyed. "Everything. Is that how you really feel. Do you understand where I was coming from?" Callie asked, almost forcing her voice out. "Yes. I understand." Arizona said nodding once even thought Callie couldn't see her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I've hurt you, I'm sorry that I was stupid and didn't... I messed up. I really messed up. I just... I can't... I don't want to lose you." Arizona said now crying.

"Shhhh..." Callie said bringing her finger up to her lips. "We can talk about that later. You've apologized over and over." Callie said resting her hand back to her side. "Sofia. How's Sofia?" Callie asked finally letting her eyes flutter open.

"She's fine. We ate, and she's back in day care." Arizona said quietly. "I miss her. I was looking forward to seeing her." Callie said sighing. "I know you were." Arizona said with a sad smile.

"Arizona there's really something I have to tell you." Callie said closing her eyes again. "Ok..." Arizona said sitting next to the bed again.

"Well... Right before... Before ..." Callie said struggling for words and wincing at the name. Arizona flinched too..."And after you lost the baby, and things looked meek." Callie said looking Arizona dead in the eye. "You decided you couldn't try for the baby again." Callie continued. "And we thought I couldn't get pregnant either because of all the tests that were run and I had too much internal damage." Callie continued.

"But we tried anyway. We figured why not, what would it hurt? That was about 7 weeks ago." Callie said watching a confused Arizona. "Yeah." Arizona said simply.

"Arizona I'm pregnant. Bailey insisted on checking everything, even though I didn't think it was necessary. You know Bailey." Callie said rambling on.

"You're preg... How? You're..." Arizona said her heart beating rapidly in her chest. "Bailey assured me the baby would be fine, and she had Dr. Swanson the new head of OB look, and everything was in tact. At least before the surgery." Callie said drawing in a breath and cutting Arizona off from her talking.

"I never thought..." Callie said before she switched gears. " I was drinking in LA." Callie said shaking her head. "I didn't think I had any chance of being pregnant. And now.. With everything between us." Callie said closing her eyes. "I just thought you should know." Callie said biting her bottom lip.

"You're pregnant." Arizona said her voice in disbelief "right around 7 weeks." Callie said nodding once. "I don't really know where to go from here Arizona... I... When we decided to do this we were still very much together." Callie said. She could feel herself getting sleepy but she was fighting through it.

"Now... Now everything is so messed up. I just..." Callie said before Arizona cut her off. "I want to make us work, I will do anything to make us work. I've already signed up for therapy sessions. My first one is Monday." Arizona said her tone hyper. "I want... I need you in my life. I need you and I need Sofia in my life, not just us handing her back and forth. I need you to be with me. I need you in my life, as my wife." Arizona spat out. "You're everything to me. The days and nights are miserable with you." Arizona continued on.

"I was so ridiculously jealous and upset when I knew you were leaving town. I didn't even think I had a right to be, but I was. And it killed me every second of everyday. Because I love you Calliope Iphigenia Torres. I'll do whatever it takes." Arizona said as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

"I need time." Callie said, her tone soft, her brain on the brink of sleep. "I understand." Arizona said closing her eyes and sighing.

"I need time and I need sleep. Take our daughter home. And bring her to see me when I'm out of recovery." Callie said closing her eyes. "I love you." Arizona said as Callie drifted into sleep.

A/N: so I wasn't planning on that little twist, but it happened. So I'm going with it! Thanks everyone who's still reading, and too all my followers. Hope you're enjoying. Sorry for any mistakes!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

-General POV-

Callie laid uncomfortably in her hospital bed. The night had been an unreasonably long one. She was in so much pain, that even with the assistance of the pain medication she found sleep hard to come by.

Her head was still pounding. It had been hit so hard on the airbag. She was surprised whiplash wasn't on the list of things that had happened to her in the car accident.

Bailey, along with several nurses had been in and out of the ICU recovery room throughout the night and morning. Which was also making it hard to sleep.

It was nearing 9am when Bailey peeked in her head again. Almost three hours had passed before her return.

"How are you feeling?" Bailey asked walking over to check her monitors and do a routine exam. "Tired." Callie said simply. "Nurse Amanda tells me you didn't sleep much last night." Bailey said taking her stethoscope to Callie's chest. "Too much pain." Callie said simply, closing her eyes.

"I don't want to give you any more pain medication until Dr. Swanson has a chance to check on you." Bailey said now checking at Callie's pulse. "I understand." Callie said nodding once. "And what is your pain level?" Bailey asked moving to the foot of the bed. "Sometimes a 7, sometimes an 8." Callie said. Her voice was slightly raspy, and her mouth was dry.

"Let me check your incision and then I'll page dr Swanson." Bailey said as Callie's phone pinged alerting her there was a message. "So I gather you told Arizona." Bailey said lifting up the bandaging that was covering the incision along her stomach. "I did." Callie said nodding once, as she picked up her phone noting that it was Arizona who had texted her.

"How did it go over?" Bailey asked re dressing the incision site. "Didn't really talk about it." Callie said shrugging and opening her text message.

.:Let me know when you get moved out of ICU Sofia has been asking about you all morning.:.

A smile set on Callie's mouth as she thought of her baby. "When will I be moved? How does everything look?" Callie asked clicking off her phone and setting it down. "After Swanson looks at you. I just want to be safe. This baby is something you still want correct?" Bailey asked now writing notes in Callie's chart.

"Of course it is." Callie said as she stared straight ahead. When she and Arizona had tried to get pregnant again, she didn't picture this being how it went. But she knew without a doubt in her mind, she still wanted this baby.

"I just didn't picture things playing out this way you know?" She said laying her head back on her pillow. Bailey gave her a soft knowing smile but said nothing. "How's Meredith?" Callie asked breaking the silence. "She's good. She is being released in the next hour or so." Bailey said smiling. "Good." Callie said closing her eyes.

She was tired, god was she tired. But the pain was still prominent in her body. Everything hurt. She said a silent prayer and took a few deep breaths trying to manage her pain as best she could.

"Good morning Dr. Torres." Dr. Swanson said. She was tall and had Mousey brown hair. Her bangs were cut straight across her forehead and hung just under her glasses. Her big green eyes were almost too big for her face, but This woman had a quiet confidence in herself. "We could possibly be friends." Callie thought adjusting herself in bed.

"Dr. Swanson." Callie said putting on the best smile she could. Her lip was still swollen and busted open. She hadn't seen herself but she could imagine what she looked like. "Everything with the baby looks fantastic! You were very very lucky. In most cases like this the fetus won't survive because of the amount of trauma. Especially because we thought you couldn't get pregnant in the first place. But again, sometimes nature just surprised us." She said rocking back and forth on her feet. Callie felt herself let our a sigh of relief with those words and laid her head back against the pillow.

"I want to keep you in here for a few more days just to be safe. Bailey cleared you to move from ICU though, and if you're in too much pain your meds can be adjusted." Dr. Swanson said with a soft smile. "Thank you." Callie said nodding. "I'll send someone up here to get you into your room shortly." Dr. Swanson said with a smile before leaving.

-Arizona-

Sofia has been a handful since she woke up. Ever since that night. That god awful, stupid night, when Callie packed her bags and left, Sofia has been acting out more than she would normally. But today, today has been hard.

Not only has she had a total of three meltdowns this morning, but she managed to effectively open her juice cup and spill it over her head, and all over the floor. This resulted in unplanned bath time, and I still had to clean up the mess she made in the kitchen.

"I want mama!" Sofia yelled slamming her hands against the water. "Baby mama can't see you right now. She had an accident, remember?" I said as I sat on the toilet in her bathroom. "Now!" Sofia screamed out, with that screech only a child could achieve. "Sofia!" I admonished. In her whole life I had never seen her act this way. This split wasn't good for her.

I finished up Sofia's bath and got her re-dressed for the day. "Come watch Cinderella." I said flipping on the TV. If anything would get her to settle down this movie would. She bounced into the room happily with her favorite teddy bear and sat on the couch quietly.

"Callie and I need to talk." I thought as I began cleaning up the mess Sofia had made in the kitchen. "Pregnant, how is that possible? And what happened in LA? Did she sleep with someone?" The thoughts coursed through my head and made my stomach twist and turn in knots at the thought of someone, anyone else with Callie. "She said she had a lot to drink... I've seen Callie drunk, sometimes she doesn't realize her actions." I thought with a sigh as I finished cleaning up the kitchen.

.;I'm getting moved into a normal room soon. Maybe you can bring Sofia? I miss her:.

The text came through right as I put the mop away. Sofia had fallen asleep on the couch midway through the movie, and I wasn't going to dare wake her.

.:of course. As soon as she wakes up we can go over there:.

I typed in before shoving my phone in my pocket.

I hated this distance, both physically and emotionally from the woman who I was so close to. Everything seemed to flow so easily, but since the accident, and since me cheating nothing has been easy. The truth of the matter was the accident did change me. So now I find myself in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess of an angry toddler while my wife, who will hardly look at me lays in a hospital bed. Pregnant.

Pregnant.

Xxxx

I took the time to change and freshen up a bit before Sofia and I made our way back to the hospital. Callie texted me her room number once she was moved and of course I found it easily.

"Hey." I said quietly entering the room. The only sound was the soft tv in the background with an episode of bewitched playing. "Sofia!" Callie said seeing our daughter in her stroller. "Mama!" Sofia said struggling to move. "Mommy can't hold you baby, she's hurt." I said softly. "But if you promise not to wiggle I'll take you out and hold you and you can give her a kiss ok?" I asked. Sofia nodded once and extended her arms up to me. She held true to her nodded promise, not making a move as I held her over Callie.

"You got owies." Sofia said gently running her small finger over Callie's lip, then up to her eye and face. "Yes honey, I have owies." Callie said in a mixture of tears and laughter. My heart constricted in my chest to see this. I wanted nothing more than to repeat Sofia's steps and kiss every scrape on her face. But I had to resist.

"Mama can kiss them and make them better." Sofia said turning to me and cupping my face between her tiny hands. "I wish it were that simple." Callie said never taking her eyes off of Sofia. "Me too." I thought sighing.

"How has she been?" Callie asked as I set Sofia down who started to wiggle in my arms. "She's been..." I said trying to find the words. "Testy." I finally said breathing the word out. "Testy?" Callie asked, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. "Crazy over the top tantrums." I said quietly. "Other then that good." I said quickly noting the look on Callie's face.

"How are you feeling?" I asked filling the looming silence we were wrapped in. "Better." Was Callie's simple answer as she watched our daughter dance across the floor. She was singing mumbled songs from Cinderella and mimicking her moves causing a smile from both Callie and I.

"I know now is not the best time, but I think you and I need to talk." I said figuring now was as good as time as any to mention it. "We do have a lot to talk about." Callie said nodding once. "But you're right, now is not the time." Callie said leaning her head back on her pillow.

I could see the sleep working it's way across her face. Her eyes were sleep deprived and tiny bags sat under her lower lids. "We are going to go. We'll let you get your rest." I said after another long interlude of silence fell between us.

The air was so tense and heavy between us, it was almost suffocating. "Ok." Was Callie's simple replay. "We can talk maybe tomorrow. I'll stop my on my lunch break." I said scooping up Sofia.

"Give mommy a kiss. She needs sleep." I said leaning Sofia over her. "Bye my big girl. No more tantrums. Be good." Callie said reaching for Sofia's hand. "I'm always good mommy!" Sofia said with that Torres attitude, and I couldn't help but let a smile spread across my face.

I found myself wanting to lean down and kiss Callie, but I resisted. "Tomorrow sounds fine." Callie said her tone groggy. I had almost forgotten what we talked about but I remembered again once I saw Callie's fingers tapping lightly over her stomach.

"Get some rest." I said snapping Sofia back in her stroller. Callie's eyes were already closed as we turned to walk out of the room.

-Callie-

It was nearing noon and I hadn't heard from Arizona at all today. I knew she wanted to talk, but I hadn't heard anymore from her, except for the one time I called Sofia before her bed time. Even then we just said hello and goodbye.

My hazy morphine clouded thoughts were flooding my mind. Here I was pregnant, and technically alone. This was not how I pictured this going. Honestly I never thought I could get pregnant. Arizona and I did it as a last effort considering that it couldn't hurt to try. Dr. Swanson said it was highly unlikely that I would get pregnant because all of the damage the last accident caused.

But here I am. Pregnant. With my second child. Which had been planed this time, but it honestly wasn't expected. I am positive this is what Arizona wants to talk about. We barely touched the subject once I told her, and her reaction was, well it was weird, from what I can remember at least.

When we stared planning for a child things between us were good. I mean, I thought they were good, but obviously they weren't - aren't.

God, this was almost déjà vu. Except last time I was here Arizona and I were in a thriving growing relationship, we were amazing. And I was much more pregnant with Sofia. My miracle child. Well, I guess this is a miracle child too. The odds were so against us.

Xxxx

"Callie." Arizona's voice rang through my ears. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep. I needed it. Sleep has been sporadic.

"Sorry, I didn't come earlier, I got pulled into a consult with Derek and it took longer than I thought it would." Arizona said walking in with two trays of food.

I blinked my eyes open trying to adjust to the harsh light in the room, before glancing toward the clock. "2:00" it read. "It's ok." I said clearing my throat.

Arizona pulled up a chair and sat almost awkwardly next to my bed. Last time she hardly left my side, this time it felt almost unnatural for her to be here, and that killed me.

"How, um... How are you feeling?" Arizona asked giving me a once over. "Fine." I said sighing. "And the baby?" She asked clearing her throat. "The baby is fine too." I said simply...

"I want to talk to you, but I'm... I don't really know how to right now." Arizona said looking down, away from me. "That seems to be the problem lately. Maybe you should talk to Lauren." I found the words coming out of my mouth. Shit. This mixture of drugs and angry wasn't work out so well. I didn't even mean to say what I said, but it was already out there.

"Callie..." Arizona said softly. "Look, let's just... What do you want to talk to me about?" I asked trying to adjust myself and get more comfortable in my bed without administering any more the the morphine drip. In all honesty I knew what she wanted to talk about, but I wanted her to say it.

"I think you know... What I want to talk about." Arizona said drawing in a breath. "Ok, so let's talk." I said looking straight ahead. I was tense and the food she put in front of me looked unappetizing. I couldn't look at that or her, so I focused on a dot I noticed in the wall.

"What are we going to do?" Arizona asked quietly, almost too quietly. "Well, you can be as involved as you want." I said closing my eyes and licking my lips. "This doesn't have to be one of those things where you feel obligated to be here." I said shaking my head. "So what, we are just done? We are over?" Arizona asked, her voice slightly breaking. "I don't know Arizona. I don't know..." I said pushing my head back into my pillow. Fuck, I hated this.

"Well, you're talking about this in terms as we are already over. I just... I told you id fight, and that's not going to change, but if you need space..." Arizona said putting her tray of food down. "If you need space I understand." She continued on.

"I don't know, Maybe I meds space. This trip to LA was supposed to clear my mind. I went to have a good time, and now this." I said with a small humorless chuckle "what happened in LA?" Arizona asked clearing her throat. "What do you mean what happened in la?" I asked confused. "You said you got drunk in LA. Did you... Did you sleep with someone else?" Arizona asked tensing as she spoke.

"You're kidding right?" I asked finally looking over at her. "No, I mean technically we are separated. I'm just asking." Arizona said. "I went to clear my head, and figure things out, not hook up with anyone. I said that because I found out I was pregnant, and I felt like an idiot for drinking." I said rolling my eyes. "What do you take me for Arizona? I still love you. Why would I sleep with anyone else?" I asked exasperated. "I don't know, it was just a thought." She said letting out a breath.

"The thought of you with someone else... It, just... It kills me, and I know I have no room to feel that way, but I do." Arizona said shaking her head.

"Let's just figure out what we are going to do for the time being." I said getting restless with this conversation. "Ok." Arizona said simply. "Meredith dropped by earlier and has agreed to help me until I can be on my own after Bailey releases me." I said cutting to the quick. "But I..." Arizona started to say before I cut her off. "You can still have Sofia, and we will set up a better schedule for her. I would like her when I get to go home though." I said licking my lips.

"Callie, I'd really like to help you." Arizona said her big blue eyes looking up at me. "I'd like that too, but I can't. Not right now. I just... I don't trust you Arizona." I said being honest. I saw the tears well up in her eyes and had to look away, because even though I was so hurt and so mad at her. I still didn't want to see her cry. What was wrong with me?

"I'll let you know when there are any appointments for the baby. If you want to be there fine, if not, that's fine too." I said pushing through. "Ok." Arizona said simply again. "That covers it. I would like to get Sofia on a better schedule though. We can figure that out once I'm out of here." I said feeling the sleep want to take over again. "So I guess that's it for now?" Arizona asked. She sounded so defeated but I had to stand my ground. "Yes. That's it for now." I said nodding once.

"Feel better." Arizona said grabbing her tray. She hovered over me like she wanted to say something or do something, but then she was gone. "Better..." I said rolling my eyes before falling back asleep.

A/N as promised, I updated because I had a lot of this written. After 11x5 finishing this was hard, so I hope it's ok! Thanks for the continued support and I hope you are still enjoying the reading... In my world, they'll get better eventually. :)


	10. Chapter 10

-Arizona-

I sat in the very bright, very white, very clean office. Dr. White sure had an affinity for all things that matched her last name. My nervous thoughts wandered as I looked from the white book case, to the white shelf, and down to the white coffee table that had past issues of sports illustrated, and people magazine laying across it in neat little piles. "Maybe she has a name theme going on in here." I thought as my eyes drifted to the picture of a white Lilly that was encased in a silver frame.

I was the only person in the waiting room, and I wasn't sure if that made me grateful or gave me just too much time to focus on anything but the overwhelming color scheme.

I looked down at my hands that rested on my lap, momentarily distracted by the contrast of my purple dress against the white couch. It made me feel slightly out of place in this overwhelmingly pale room. "She could of at least painted an accent wall or something." I thought biting my lip.

"Dr. Robbins." Dr. White said brining me out of my inner thoughts. I stood with a nervous smile as I entered her office. "Nice to meet you." She said shaking my hand. "Likewise." I said as I made my way over to an oversized cream couch.

This room was much different than the waiting room. The walls were painted a light shade of green. The furniture was cream colored and adorned light green pillows that nearly matched the wall. Her bookcase and desk were a dark wood and contrasted perfectly with the calming green. I found myself much more comfortable in here.

"Your waiting room is so white." I found myself nervously saying as my eyes continued to take in my surroundings. "I know. I hate it." Dr. White said with a laugh, making me realize I had just spoken out loud. My eyes snapped to hers and I could feel the blush of embarrassment making my way upwards. "I just got this office a few weeks ago and I haven't had time to paint in there. I ordered the new furniture but it would be pointless to move it in before the painters get here." She said taking a seat in a chair. "Please. Have a seat." She continued motioning for me to sit on the couch.

I sat down and took a deep breath and nervously tapped my fingers together in my lap. "You're nervous." The doctor said gently as she crossed her legs. "I-um- yeah a little." I admitted letting out a breath. "You don't have to be nervous Arizona. I'm not here to pass judgment, I'm here to help." Dr. White said with a polite smile. I nodded once and returned her smile but said nothing else.

"So, let's start easy." Dr. White said as she started jotting down something on a yellow legal pad. I hadn't even noticed she had it in her hands until just now. "Tell me why you're here, and what you hope to achieve." She said with a smile. "Well um... I guess mostly I'm here because my marriage is falling apart. I want to save it. That's my goal." I said shrugging my shoulders. Dr. White looked at me nodding a few times but said nothing as she jotted down more notes. "But you're here alone?" Dr. White asked confused.

"My wife was recently in a car accident. And right now she's at home, well not our home, our friends home where she's been living for the past month and a half." I said nervously. The fact that Callie was still at Derek and Meredith's was weighing heavy on me, and I knew she needed time, but saying it out loud made it even more real, and it was heartbreaking to me.

"Is there anything else?" The doctor asked simply. "Anything else?" I asked confused meeting her gaze. "You're only here to fix your marriage?" She reiterated still jotting notes. "Well, that's my main concern, yes." I said licking my lips.

"Do you mind telling me what happened?" She asked setting down the pen and paper down in her lap.

I cleared my throat and closed my eyes drawing in a deep breath through my nose before exhaling from my mouth. I honestly didn't want to relive the past year over again. But I guess it was necessary if I was going to have any chance at all.

"I... Well... I... I'm not really sure where to begin." I said shaking my head. So many thoughts were swirling in my brain. My mind went back to the plane crash, then to waking up without my leg, then to Lauren. It was all one big jumbled mess.

"Why don't you start from the beginning?" She encouraged. "I was in a plane crash." I said thinking back to when the problems between Callie and I originally started. "I mean, Callie and my relationship has always been a little rocky. But after we got married it was bliss. Then the plane crash happened and I think that's when the problems really started to unfold." I said in one long breath.

"Callie, I'm assuming she's your wife." The doctor said jotting down more notes. I nodded but said nothing. "You said your relationship has always been rocky." She stated rather then asked. "Yes." I said simply. "What do you mean by that?" She asked holding eye contact with me.

"Well before we decided to get married, we had broken up twice." I started. "She wanted kids, I didn't..." I continued on. "We broke up the first time because of that." I said shrugging my shoulders. "And then you obviously got back together after that. What made that possible? That's a pretty big disagreement to have in a relationship." She stated.

"A lot of things changed. You know? I knew from the moment I kissed her that she was the one. Crazy right? How can one kiss alter your whole world?" I asked with a laugh. "That's not so uncommon. When you know, you know." Dr. White said in encouragement. "But you said a lot of things changed. What do you mean by that?" She asked.

"The shooting, at the hospital. When it was Seattle grace mercy west. Do you remember that?" I asked as memories of that day flooded my mind. "Yes, I remember hearing that on the news." Dr. White said softly. "Callie and I got stuck on the same floor together after they put us on lock down." I stated, recalling that days events. "I'm a pediatric surgeon, she's an orthopedic surgeon. She had come to the floor to check on a patients chart when we all got the page." I continued. "We thought it was a false alarm. Kind of a drill of sorts." I said remembering her walk into the peds wing.

"So you work together." Dr white said nodding. "Yes, that's how we met." I said smiling, remembering the first time even hearing about her. "Continue." She said gently as she jotted down more notes. "Well at one point the shooter came into our wing. I had a little girl on a table trying to ease the pain of her ruptured appendix. Callie was in there helping me keep her calm. We always worked so well together." I said as everything clearly came into focus. "I was so scared, I couldn't even look at him. All I did was hover over ruby hoping he'd leave us alone." I said shuddering at the thought. "Not Callie. She got up and approached him, talked him down and he left." I said shaking my head.

"And that's when you decided to get back together? You resolved that you would or wouldn't have kids, but you wanted back into each other's lives?" She asked fixing her glasses. "No. Well I mean, at that moment I knew I wanted to try again." I said fixing my dress. "We lost doctors and nurses that day, we lost some people just in the hospital visiting family, waiting for the ER. People got shot and died that day. I guess I just realized life was too short to be unhappy, and she makes me happier than any ten people combined." I said. I used my whole heart to speak because that was the honest to god truth. "She did and still does, even if she's mad at me. I'm happiest when I'm with her." I admitted feeling tears threatening to fall.

"So you said that was your first breakup." Dr. White said, powering through. "Yes. That was the first time." I said nodding. "And the second?" She asked. "I got this really great grant. It's almost unheard of to win it. Anyway, I got it! I was so excited, but accepting the grant meant moving to Africa for three years." I said feeling more at ease the more I talked to the doctor. "Africa, that's a big change." She stated, obviously. "Very big. Callie and I were all set to go, but she kept making snide comments here and there. She had agreed to go for me, but I knew she wasn't happy about it." I said sighing. "We ended up breaking up right before we got on the plane." I said closing my eyes and remembering that day. "And you broke up because you wanted to go and she didn't." The doctor said. "Yes. I guess. I mean when I got back she said that she needed readjustment time basically. But she was willing to go... I don't know what would have happened if we both got on that plane. I never will. But I guess basically that's the truth. She didn't want to go I did."

"And then what happened?" The doctor asked. "I was in Africa. I was saving lives, I was doing amazing work, but the whole time I was crying." I said shaking my head. "It should have been the happiest time in my life, and I think had Callie gone with me, it would have been." I said shrugging. "But I couldn't stop thinking about her, I saw her everywhere, I couldn't sleep, I barely ate. The doctors over there noticed it." I said with a small laugh. "I mean I cried at home, at work. I was a mess." I said rolling my eyes with a small sad smile. "They asked if they could replace me with someone if I wanted to come home. I meant to say no, but my heart was thinking faster then my head and I said yes." I said sighing. "So I got on a plane and came home." I said, biting my bottom lip.

"And then you got back together again." The doctor stated. "No... Not right away." I said laughing and shaking my head. "It actually took me convincing her... A lot... We broke each other's hearts. I really broke her heart." I said closing my eyes. "Then we found out she was pregnant with her best friends baby." I said sighing. A look flashed over the doctors face. I'm not sure what, confusion, surprise, maybe a mixture of both. "And how did you handle that news?" She asked evenly. "Well, I was torn. I was so in love with her at that point I would have done anything. Don't get me wrong I still love her more than anything, and I wouldn't change our daughter for the world." I said finding my words start to jumble together. "But that's something big to come back to. You breakup with your girlfriend, you come back she's pregnant with another mans baby." I said taking a deep breath. "Well that certainly is shocking." Dr. White agreed. "No kidding. I didn't really have time to adjust I kind of just went with it. And believe me it wasn't easy." I said shrugging my shoulders. "Any regrets about it?" The doctor asked innocently.

I thought about a few of the arguments mark and I had, a few calliope and I had, I thought of the car accident, but I thought of the good times we had too. The dinners, the laughs. "No, no regrets about that decision." I said honestly. Because I honestly had none. And I would do it all over again. I wouldn't give my daughter up for the world.

"Now going back to what you said before, you said it wasn't easy. What exactly do you mean?" Dr. White asked chewing slightly on the back of her pen. "Well at the point I decided I was all in, that I was going to have the baby with Callie, it was a co-parenting thing with me, her, and mark." I said chewing on my bottom lip. "And mark, I'm assuming is her best friend, and your daughters dad." Dr. White said jotting down more notes. "Yes. He wanted to be involved and I couldn't blame him. But it was difficult, he was always there. Which in hindsight was amazing. He really was great with Sofia. He was a good dad." I said feeling sentimental. "Was?" Dr white asked me peeking up over her glasses. "Oh um.. The plane crash I mentioned earlier... He didn't make it." I said feeling my eyes start to water.

"I'm so sorry to hear that." Dr. White said handing me some tissues. "It was rocky with him in the beginning, we got in some major disagreements and fights. Especially after the car accident." I said rolling my eyes. "God,we fought, a lot." I said sighing... "But he really grew on me. We really were this odd little family." I said sighing. "What happened. With the car accident I mean?" She asked her brows furrowing.

"Callie and I got into a car accident. She went out the front windshield. I thought. I thought..." I said clearing my throat. "I thought I had lost them both that day." I said feeling my heart constrict. "And you and mark fought?" Dr white asked. "Yes. A lot. We had to make decisions about Callie, and the baby, and it was just. It was a mess." I said blowing out some air as my stomach twisted in knots thinking about the fight. "He was calling the shots because at that point I had no legal rights to Sofia." I said shaking my head. "Well anyway, in the end Callie ended up delivering early and had to undergo multiple surgeries." I continued on. "They both pulled through fine. Sofia is happy and healthy today. She's beautiful." I thought and I could feel myself beaming with pride.

Dr. White smiled at me and nodded a few times. "So, somewhere in there you decided to get married?" She asked pulling me out of the thoughts of my daughter. "Right before the accident. Seconds before the accident actually. I asked Callie to marry me." I said sitting up a little straighter. "I didn't get my answer because we hit a truck." I said shaking my head. "But I stuck by her side through the whole thing. I was so afraid to lose her." I said swallowing hard. "And I was already so in love with our baby. I was afraid to lose her too." I said, all the emotions from that time flooding my senses.

"Well obviously she said yes." Dr. White said mater-of-factly. "Yes, she said yes." I said smiling. "We had Sofia, co-parenting with mark was working out very well, and then we got married. It didn't work out perfectly, our wedding day, but it was so amazing. I wouldn't change it for the world." I said smiling.

"And then everything was good?" Dr. White asked adjusting herself in her chair. "Everything was amazing. We had little fights here and there, but what couple doesn't?" I asked shrugging my shoulders. "Ok, so when did things start getting tense?" Dr white asked me. "After the plane crash." I said sighing. "Well that's a pretty traumatic thing to experience." Dr. white said carefully.

Flashbacks of the plane crash hit me in a wave. Hearing Meredith cry over Lexie and terrified when she couldn't find Derek. My own screaming ringing I my ears. The pain was so intense. Christina walking around looking for that stupid shoe. "So, what happened after the crash?" Dr. white asked bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Well, my leg was hurt really bad." I said taking a deep breath. She nodded once and folded her hands over her lap. "And as I told you my wife is an orthopedic surgeon." I continued on. "I told her to save my leg. She promised me she'd save it and... She didn't... Couldn't." I said shaking my head. "That's a big promise to make." Dr. White said almost quietly. "I thought she could do it, so could she..." I said shrugging. "In the end, she couldn't." I said taking in a deep breath. My chest was tight, this was all too much emotion for one day.

"Anyway, I resented her for it." I said shaking my head. "I yelled and screamed and took it out on her, and myself." I said licking my lips. "She dealt with it. I know she felt guilty. And I did nothing to help that." I said sighing. "I'm over it mostly now... I mean not fully over it. But I get where she was coming from I completely understand." I admitted.

"You understand?" Dr. White asked. "Yes, she did what she had to do to keep me alive. I was too angry to realize that. And I think now I've realized it too late." I said feeling that uneasy feeling in my stomach. "What makes you think it's too late? It seems like you two have been through a lot together." Dr. White interjected.

"Because after everything... Everything we've been through I-I..." I said struggling to say it. I had already admired it to Alex out loud, Callie had told all of our friends. Why was I having trouble telling Dr. White? "You know this is a safe zone right? And you don't have to tell me anything you're not comfortable telling me." Dr. White said noting my struggle. "I cheated on her. After everything we've been through I cheated on her, I cheated on my wife." I said, letting it roll out of my mouth on it's own accord.

I looked up meeting Dr. White's gaze. She didn't look at me like others did. Her eyes weren't judging me, they weren't scrutinizing me. It was slightly refreshing to admit that without having a judging gaze look after me.

"Well I can see where that can cause some difficulty." She said jotting down a few more notes on her paper. I almost wanted to laugh at what she said. Of course me cheating on my wife caused difficulties. I thought inwardly rolling my eyes.

"It was a mess. She didn't catch us, but she may as well have." I said cringing at the thought. "What do you mean she may as well have?" The doctor asked setting down her pen and looking at me again. "Well it kinda happened at the hospital." I said feeling my heart sink. "It was when that big storm rolled through." I said remember info the nights events. "It was a visiting doctor. Callie was in the hospital. She was in the same freaking hospital." I said shaking my head. "Anyway, she came looking for me. And Lauren, the woman I cheated with, changed her scrub top with mine on accident. That wouldn't normally be a big deal, except my wedding ring was pinned to my top." I said sighing as I remembered the look on Callie's face when she saw it.

"So she saw the ring on Lauren and then what?" Dr. White asked jotting down a few more notes. "And then she put two and two together. The look on her face was... It was horrible." I said shaking my head. "Do you think you would have told her had you not been caught?" Dr. White asked straight forward. "Of course!" I scoffed. "I felt guilty and horrible as soon as... I should have never let it get that far." I said shaking my head. "I am so so sorry I did it." I said tears welling in my eyes again.

"what do you think prompted you into it?" Dr white asked. "Everything felt so out of control. And Lauren knew, she knew I was a limb down and still she found me desirable." I said sighing. "And Callie didn't anymore?" Dr. White questioned. "No... I mean she once told me that it was a service to other people around me that I now only had one leg. She said whenever I entered a room I was the most beautiful one in it." I said through tears. "But at that time I felt like she was with me more out of obligation. Not that she didn't love me or anything. I knew she did. Why would she put up with so much if she didn't?" I said trying to fight the tears.

"I couldn't see that then. I was so... I had lost a baby, we had been trying to get pregnant, when I went for my ultrasound there was no heartbeat... That broke me even more. I was just spinning out of control. I always felt the need to control everything and I no longer could. I lost control with Lauren." I said hanging my head.

"And now here we are." Dr. White said placing her pen and pad down next to her. "Now here we are." I repeated. "It's obvious that you still love your wife." Dr. White began. "I love her, I love her so much." I said the tears still falling. "And that you want to work it out with her." She continued. "Yes. That's all I want." I said nodding. "I'm going to suggest she come with you to a session. Maybe not now, but sometime in the near future." Dr. White said sitting straight up in her chair. "I take it you haven't been communicating much, considering she's not living at home." Dr. White said clearing her throat. "Mostly about Sofia." I said simply. "These sessions can be a great tool for people who can't communicate otherwise. It's level playing ground for both parties. But she has to want to come. No one can make her." Dr white said carefully. "I understand that." I said nodding.

"That being said I think you have some of your own stuff you need to work through. Just yourself." Dr white said. Her eyes searching mine. "I guess..." I said shrugging my shoulders. "It's completely up to you. You have the power here. But it seems as though you've been through a lot. And you really opened up today. How did it feel?" She asked gently. "I don't know. I feel a little better I guess." I said shrugging my shoulders. "Well whatever you decide I'm here to support you. I do think you'd benefit from this if you keep coming back." She said with a soft smile. "Ok." I said simply, realizing the truth in her words.

"Then we can start something weekly, and hopefully get you and Callie in here together at some point." Dr. White said looking over at the clock. "That's what I want. I hope she will come." I said feeling my heart beat in my chest.

"Your hour is up now, but think about what I said. Talk to Callie, see what she thinks... We can go from there." She said standing up out of her seat. "Thank you Dr. White." I said gathering my coat and purse. "Don't thank me. You took this step on your own. I hope I see you next week." She said extending her hand. "Next week." I said nodding once.

Now I just had to convince Callie to come. God I hope she'll agree to it.

A/N - So, I had a little bit of trouble writing this part. I am not a therapist, nor have I ever been in therapy, so I just wrote what I thought. Guess that's part of the fiction fun!

In addition to that being hard, I was struggling with Arizona's emotions. It's so easy to take into account that she cheated in Callie, but she really has been through a lot (not that it's an excuse from the cheating mind you)

I hope you liked this. I really did struggle with it. Feedback is always appreciated :) xoxo


	11. Chapter 11

-Callie-

"Do you believe in soul mates? I do. Or at least I did.

Sixteen. That was the first time I fell in lust. It was easy to mix up love and lust at the time, and I mistakenly confused the two.

His name was Arturo. He was captain of our schools soccer team, class president, and wow was he handsome. His dark hair, paired with grey steely eyes just did it for me.

We ran with the same crowd he and I. All of our friends intermingled and often times at parties or school gatherings i'd find myself gravitating toward him, and I felt he was gravitating toward me.

He was my first real kiss. The kiss that sends your world slightly spinning, the kiss that makes you lose grip on reality for just a few minutes. The kiss that makes your breath catch in your throat, and feel a rush of adrenalin so strong you think you might pass out.

We were at a party one night. It was a beginning of summer party on the beach just behind our houses. The night air was slightly cool from the mist bouncing off the ocean, and the sand was damp and wet beneath our feet. The girls sat around the camp fire laughing and talking while trying to stay warm. My best friend, Olivia, and I were planning a shopping trip for the next day.

The guys were out in the water and on the beach playing catch with a football. Of course all of us girls were watching, giggling, and making comments on who looked hotter in their swim trunks earlier that day. And out of no where Arturo came crashing into me. He hit me so hard that he knocked the wind out of my lungs, and I had to struggle for breath.

"Oh my god, Callie are you ok?" He asked using his arm to lift his body from mine. "Callie!" Was called from every which way as all my friends gathered around us. "I'm fine." I finally managed to breath out. "Need air." I said slowly letting my lungs refill with oxygen. I was laying flush against the sand, looking up at the nights sky, trying to will my lungs to work.

"Callie, I really am so sorry. I didn't realize we were that close to you guys." Arturo said hovering over me. "It was an accident. It's fine." I said finally starting to breathe normal. "Come on, sit up." He said kneeling beside me. He grabbed my hand and helped ease me slowly into the seated position.

I was slightly dizzy and started leaning to the side when I felt a strong hand steady me. "You guys, I'm taking her for a walk, I'm gonna make sure she's ok." Arturo said standing up and reaching out his hand for me to hold.

We walked along the beach that night his arm comfortably draped around my shoulders. Our friends gradually falling further and further away from us, and then he kissed me. A lingering kiss. It wasn't forced, or intrusive. It started gentle and picked up it's pace. And I was smitten. We ended up dating all summer and through half of the school year before it ended."

"What made you tell me that memory, Callie?" Dr. White asked.

"I don't know." I honestly said. "Don't you think love is a fickle thing, Dr. White?" I asked tilting my head to one side.

"well I guess to some people yes." Dr. White said nodding her head in agreement.

"I guess my real first, real honest to god, whole hearted, head over heels, can't think about anyone else, would take a bullet, and lay my life on the line type of love was Arizona." I admitted. It was easy to admit, it was the truth. But it was also a painful thing to admit.

"No one before that?" Dr. White asked furrowing her brows.

"Well, not that kind of love, no." I said shrugging my shoulders. "I mean, you love your family, and you love your friends, but it's not the same type of love. Even with my past lovers, and past boyfriends and girlfriend, I've never felt it. Not like I did... Do, with Arizona." I said twiddling my thumbs on my lap.

I walked into Dr. Whites office fully intending to be mute. I didn't want to be here anymore than I wanted a root canal. But as soon as I walked trough the door, words just started flooding out of my mouth.

Arizona has been coming to her sessions every week, once a week for the past month. She told me she would do anything to work on our marriage, and asked me to come. It took a lot of convincing, and a few arguments before I agreed to it. And eventually, and obviously I broke down. I wasn't sure what I wanted, but talking to this woman couldn't be any worse than keeping everything locked deep inside.

And so I opened up. Like I always do. I tend to rush things, if I'm going to do something it might as well be done right. Even if I don't want to do it. It's like some kind of battle I can't control.

"You opened up quite a lot." Dr. White stated as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

I just shrugged my shoulders as I began picking at a few loose strings in the stitching of my jeans.

"I want to go back to something you said when you first got here." Dr. White said looking down at her yellow legal pad. "You said you believed in soul mates, but you worded it in such a manner that you no longer believe in them. Why is that?" She asked looking up and making eye contact with me.

"I thought Arizona was my soulmate." I said sighing. "I really honestly did." I said with a humorless laugh shaking my head.

"And you no longer believe that? Why not?" Dr. White asked simply.

"You don't cheat on your soulmate with another person." I said staring her straight in the eye. I could feel tears forming in the back of my eyes and had to fight to control them.

Dr. White nodded once but didn't say anything. Then she looked at me expectantly.

"My father cheated on my mother." I said under the pressure of her gaze. "I left, soon after I found out Arizona cheated. I went to California to clear my head, and that's what I came back with... Full knowledge that when I was about four, my father cheated on my mother." I said taking in a deep breath to stifle the nervous laughter that was bubbling in my throat.

"That's a lot to take in." Dr. White said jotting some notes down.

"No shit." I said letting the laughter finally escape my mouth. "Arizona told him everything. I'm not sure how or why the conversation came up between her and my dad, but it did." I said rolling my eyes. "I asked her not to tell him. But she did." I said feeling slightly frustrated.

"And that made you angry?" Dr. White asked.

"Well it didn't make me happy." I said rolling my eyes. "But angry, I'm not sure that's the right word. To use." I said simply.

"Why didn't you want to bring this up with your dad?" Dr white asked me.

"My father, he can be... Difficult." I said with a smile. "When he first found out about Arizona and I, he cut me off, from everyone. My mother, my sister, my aunts and uncles." I said losing the smile, and began biting my lip. "It was horrible. I used to talk to him every week. Then, there was nothing." I said shaking my head. "So admitting this misstep... I just wasn't ready."

"How did it make you feel when your dad told you he cheated on your mom?" Dr. White asked pushing up her glasses that started to move their way down the bridge of her nose.

"I was shocked, angry, confused. My parents are so happily married today. I really have never seen another couple as happy as they are this far into their marriage." I said with a smile as I thought about them.

"They still have date night. Every Wednesday evening, my dad will make a reservation somewhere, and they will go and have dinner. They still take walks in the garden, hand in hand. They're the couple I strived to be." I said sighing. I felt like a failure.

"They sound lovely." Dr. White said with a small smile.

"They are. Both of them can be difficult, but I love them. They're my parents." I said sighing.

"Do you believe your parents are soul mates, Callie?" Dr. White asked catching me slightly off guard.

"I don't know. I guess so." I said. "I honestly hadn't thought about it." I admitted.

"I know Arizona asked you to start coming to sessions, but you have to be willing to come, willing to open up, willing to work. This is obviously the first step in the process, and I think we have covered a lot of ground in this very short time." Dr. White said as she crossed and uncrossed her legs. "But you have to want to be here. Not just because she asked you, but because you want this. You want to move forward, you want to figure this out whatever the end result might be." She said looking straight at me, her gaze unwavering.

"I... I..." I started to say feeling the pressure of her words. "I don't know what I want." I said letting unwanted tears start to stream down my face.

"You still love Arizona. You said it earlier." Dr. White said handing me a box of tissues.

"Of course I still love Arizona!" I said a little louder then I intended to. "But how do I move past this, how do I forgive this?" I asked as I patted the tears that started to gather on my cheeks.

"We have been bad for a while, I thought we moved past it. I thought we were finally good again, and then she cheats on me." I said taking in a deep calming breath.

"You thought you were good again? What do you mean by that?" Dr. White asked.

"I mean, after the accident everything was... It was horrible. I'm sure Arizona told you about it." I said closing my eyes. "I made the decision for them to cut off her leg, and she's never forgiven me for it." I said shaking my head. "I mean, I guess it's my fault. I promised her I'd save her leg, and I didn't. I was so afraid of losing her, I had just lost my best friend. I couldn't lose her too." I said letting my tears start to fall again.

"That's a big promise to make." Dr. White said jotting down some notes. Her tone wasn't judging, or accusatory, it was even and composed, and I'm not sure why, but it slightly unnerved me.

"Stupid... It was a stupid promise to make." I snapped unmeaning to. "I thought I could. I really, really thought I could. I failed her. I didn't make that promise lightly." I said clearing my throat.

"Going back, you said you thought things were good again." Dr. White said still jotting notes.

"Yes. We finally stopped fighting every waking second of the day." I started. "Arizona wouldn't let me touch her for the longest time. We weren't intimate for almost six months after the accident. It didn't matter what I said she just wasn't having it." I continued on. "And I wasn't going to pressure her. I realize that this was a big adjustment for her. How could it not be?" I asked shaking my head. "But I was patient. I took everything she dished out because I'm the reason her leg is gone." I said going on another tangent.

"Callie, I'm going to stop you there." Dr. White said interrupting my rant. "You are taking on full responsibility for Arizona's leg. At least that's what in hearing. Why is that?" Dr. White questioned.

"Have you not heard any of what I said? I made the decision to have it cut off. I made her a promise to save it, and I couldn't." I said feeling overly frustrated with the therapist sitting in front of me.

"And have you and Arizona discussed any of this?" Dr. White asked not taking any offense to my harsh words.

"Not really." I said thinking about it. "A little here, and there. But not really. It doesn't take a genius to see she blames me for losing her leg." I said feeling the anger starting to boil in me.

"This is a very sensitive subject for you." Dr. White stated as she sat her pen And pad down On her lap.

"Of course it's a sensitive subject for me!" I snapped.

"So let me ask you this. Do you think if you hadn't been the one to make the decision to cut off the leg, that things would be different?" She asked her tone softer.

"I don't know. I don't think she'd be as angry with me as she was." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Let's take this a step back again to when you said you thought things were good again." Dr. White said looking at some of the notes on her paper.

"Yes, we were finally able to be intimate again, we were talking more instead of fighting all the time, things were good." I said nervously fidgeting with my wedding ring.

"And then..." Dr. White said simply.

"And then she slept with Lauren." I stated casting my gaze away from dr. White who had very rarely let eye contact with me falter.

"She slept with Lauren. Tell me about what that was like for you to come to terms with." Dr. White said.

I shook my head, and rolled my eyes before I began to speak. "I found Lauren in Arizona's scrub top." I said thinking back to that night. "Arizona and I would wear our wedding rings pinned to our scrubs because they would sometimes get in the way during a surgery." I said losing myself in the memories. "That night, was the night of the big storm. We lost power at the hospital, we had incoming emergencies left and right. It was hectic." I said suddenly thinking of the bus crash.

"The hospital lost power, and it was. It was a stressful night." I said licking my lips. "Anyway, they were having to move babies from our NICU to Seattle press because of the power outage. Arizona was no where to be found, and I was a little worried. She was supposed to be heading that up. When things finally calmed in the ER I went looking for her." I said remembering the night like it just happened.

"And that's when I found Arizona's scrub top on Lauren. Well it wasn't hard to piece the rest of the pieces together." I said sighing.

Dr. White said nothing, she nodded at me a few times but said nothing. There was a weird silence that fell between us. That was the first time that happened since I walked through the door. She finally broke the silence between us. "Ok, you relived the night, but you did tell me what it was like for you to come to terms with it." She said chewing on the end of her pen.

"It was horrible, god awful. I felt like someone ripped my heart from my chest." I said closing my eyes, remembering what I felt like in that moment. "I was hurt, angry, I felt betrayed." I stated as I adjusted myself on her couch. "It's the worst feeling I've felt in my entire life." I said as tears began to form again.

"It literally broke my heart." I said at almost a whisper. That thought escaped my lips on their own accord. I hadn't meant to say them out loud.

"Heartbreak is never easy." Dr. White said, her tone almost sympathetic.

"Our hour is almost up Callie. I really want you to do me a huge favor and decide if this is something you want to continue doing." Dr white said setting down her legal pad beside her chair. "Like I said earlier, this is something you have to want to do. It's not something that can be forced on you." She continued on.

"I think that we made a lot of progress, especially since this was your first session with me." Dr white said with a soft smile. "I think you can really benefit from coming back. Also if you agree to it, and if you decide moving forward with Arizona is something you might possibly want, I suggest you come together." She stated as she began to get up from her chair.

I felt raw, overly really extremely raw. I found myself having a hard time getting up from my seat. My limbs felt heavy and my heart felt heavier. I had just relived some of my most painful memories with a complete stranger. But it was surprisingly comfortable. I had too many thoughts running through my mind. I needed air.

"I'll let you know." I said clearing my throat. My mouth had suddenly become dry. "Please do. No pressure here, you are in control of this ok?" Dr. White said softly, almost soothingly.

I nodded once before I forced myself off the couch. I grabbed my things and I made a quick exit without looking back.

The cool Seattle weather was welcome against my skin. I took in an unsteady breath as I began walking aimlessly down the street lot Seattle sidewalk.

I was in a flurry of emotions, and it was unsettling. I felt like a weight had been lifted, but at the same time my heart felt like it was breaking all over again. So much had been said, but so much had been left unsaid. I needed to clear my head.

I found a nearby park that was empty, except for a few couples who had decided to take a late stroll. I sat in a park bench that overlooked the playground below. A soft breeze came through making the swings gently rock back and forth.

I closed my eyes, as thoughts kept running rampant through my brain. Should I continue therapy or just drop it all together. Would I be willing to go with Arizona to a joint session? I needed to talk to someone...

I pulled out my phone and began dialing before my brain could even process the numbers I was punching in,and just as I was about to hang up the phone a voice came trough.

"Calliope, Mija." My dad said his voice soothing to my ears.

"Hi daddy." I said trying to keep my voice from breaking.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it from him.

"I'm... I need to talk to you about mama. I need you to tell me about your affair." I said. I was going to rip the bandaid off, and I was going to rip it off every wound.

"Calliope... I..." He started to protest.

"No, no. I haven't asked you about it before. But I need you to tell me now. I need you to tell me why you cheated on mom." I said feeling the tears start to come again.

"I had a moment of weakness. I told you that already." He said softly.

"But why? Why daddy? Why did you do it?!" I asked at a slight yell.

"I didn't plan for it to happen. I wish It didn't happen. I wish I could do that day all over again, and take it back. It's guilt I live with everyday." He said. I could hear the hurt in his voice.

And then I was sobbing, uncontrollable sobs, in the middle of a park. But I couldn't stop it. I couldn't control it.

"Calliope, Mija... Please don't cry." My dad said soothingly.

"I don't know how mom forgave you. I don't know how she found it in her heart to forgive you!" I shouted. I didn't mean to shout at him, I knew I was projecting the emotions at him that I was feeling toward Arizona.

"I don't know either. But I thank my lucky stars everyday." He said clearing his throat. "It wasn't easy for her. And I had to prove myself to her, I had to earn her trust back, but she allowed me to try. She found it in her heart to let me try." He said taking in a deep breath.

"I did a bad thing... I made a stupid horrible mistake, but I don't think it makes me a bad person. Your mother told me that. It took a lot for her to say that. But she did. She gave me hope in us." He continued on as I sat quietly crying on the other side of the phone. "And thank god she did. Because had she not, aria wouldn't be here, and I don't know what my relationship with you would be like." He said his voice slightly cracking.

"Why did you tell me you cheated? Why didn't you let it go unsaid?" I finally asked, once I gathered myself.

"Because, Mija. Arizona made a mistake. We all make mistakes. But you two love each other. It's obvious." He stated simply, eliciting more tears from me.

"I don't know how to forgive her. I don't know how to move past this." I said wiping my nose on the back of my hand.

"You have to make that move on your own, no one can tell you to do it." He said as a way of explaining. It made perfect sense, but I didn't know if I was ready to forgive her, or if I could ever forgive her.

"Everything is so messed up." I said shaking my head and taking in a deep breath.

"I know it feels that way, but you hold the power in your hands baby. You can make this better. Whatever you decide to do. Forgive Arizona, don't forgive her. You hold that power." He said gently.

"This isn't something you have to decide right now. Your mother didn't forgive me right away you know." He said clearing his throat. "It took us time, and it took a lot of work. Especially on my part. But I can tell you once she let me back in, once she decided to forgive me. I made sure not to mess it up again." He said a smilie evident in his tone.

"Things have never been, and never will be perfect between your mother and I. We are human, we make mistakes here and there, but at the end of the day, our love is strong. I love your mother more today then I did yesterday." He said causing a smile to form on my lips.

"Follow your heart, Calliope. You've done it your whole life. Don't stop now."

"te amo papá" I said feeling my voice start to quiver.

"te amo demasiado Mija." He answered back.

And with that I hung up the phone.

I sat for a few minutes more gathering myself before I started making my way back to Dr. Whites office to pick up my car.

Once inside the quietness was almost suffocating... It had been such a heavy night. Almost too heavy, but I knew what I had to do. I knew I owed it to myself, I owed it to Arizona, I owed it to Sofia, and I owed it to this new life form beginning it's life inside of me.

I pulled out my phone again, hitting speed dial 2.

"Hello?"

"Arizona... We need to talk." I said taking a deep breath.

Xxxxxxxxx

A/N this has been the hardest chapter to write this far in. I hadn't intended to put it up this soon, but here it is.

Feedback is of course always welcome. Thanks for the comments, favorites, and follows, you guys are the best!


	12. Chapter 12

- Arizona-

"Arizona... We need to talk." Callie said slightly muffled on the phone.

I had just settled Sofia down for the night when my phone rang a familiar ringtone. I can't say I wasn't at least a little surprised to know it was Callie calling me. I, myself had just started to get ready for bed when the ringtone filled the still air.

"What's wrong? Is everything ok?" I asked pausing my motions. It almost felt like a stupid question to ask. Things hadn't been ok for a while, but this felt like something more. Her voice was muffled, but it was laced with sadness and tears. Even though we have been fighting, I still love her. I still care and worry for her.

"I.. Yeah... Everything is fine. I just... Can we talk? In person... It doesn't have to be tonight." Callie said clearing her throat.

I felt my heart beating rapidly with her words. I finally had convinced her to go to therapy and I knew her first session had to have just ended. We fought and argued about her going, but once she agreed I felt like a small weight had been lifted.

Now with this phone call... Her voice sounded slightly frantic. What had she discovered in therapy? Was she going to call it quits? After everything we've been through, had she decided my infidelity was more than enough to be our dividing force?

I swallowed hard, feeling a lump rise in my throat before I managed to breathe out my answer. "Of course we can talk Calliope... Whenever you want, tonight tomorrow..." I said feeling the heaviness of stress settle on my chest.

"I... I just left Dr. White's office, and I'm still in the city... Maybe tonight. I'd like to talk to you tonight." Callie said. Her voice was unsteady and nervous and it was unsettling.

"Ok, if that's what you want. Sofia is down for the night. Just come over. I'll be here." I said trying to keep my voice as light as possible. "I'll be there in a while." Callie said, and with that she hung up.

I set down my phone and continued getting ready for bed. I could feel the nervousness and anxiety building heavier, and heavier on my chest, and my head felt dizzy. What could Callie possibly want to discuss?

I found myself going over every scenario in my head. Maybe she wanted to try to work on things, maybe she has had enough.

Time seemed to tick by slowly. It has been almost an hour since Callie called me, and there was no word from her since. Dr. White's office is no more then 20 minutes away, 40 minutes if there's traffic. There wouldn't be traffic this late.

I found myself pacing in the still and quiet living room, back and forth, back and forth. How long had I been pacing. I clutched my phone in my hands, I didn't even realize how hard until I noticed my knuckles were turning a shade of white.

Back, and forth, back and forth... Pacing

And then, there were keys in the door, struggling to get it open.

I made my way to the door, slightly limping. How long had I been pacing? The evidence was in my leg said that it had been a while. The prosthetic had began to ware at my flesh, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I should have just taken the damn thing off.

"Where have you been? You had me worried!" I practically yelled, at Callie. Her arms were full of bags, and she had a stunned look fixed on her face.

"I'm sorry, I haven't eaten. I got hungry." She said simply, furrowing her brow before stepping in. She walked into the kitchen setting down the bags as I stood at the door shaking my head. "Worried? I was worried? Why was I yelling at her?" I thought sighing.

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I slowly made my way into the kitchen. "I'm fine. I wanted some Italian though, I was pretty sure you ate, but I brought extra just in case." Callie said as she started emptying the bags.

"Thank you." I said simply as I watched her move around the kitchen with ease. I was using my right arm to support my weight against the counter and trying to ignore the nagging pain of the leg.

"So, um..." I said clearing my throat. "You said you wanted to talk?" I asked as I made my way to get a plate.

"Arizona, you're limping more than usual. Are you ok?" Callie asked catching me slightly off guard. "What? Um, yeah. I just was pacing earlier and now my leg is sore. I'm fine." I said mustering up a smile.

"Go sit down. I'll take you food." Callie said grabbing the plate from my hand. "Callie..." I started to protest. "Arizona. I know we've been separated for this past month and a half, but that doesn't mean I don't remember what it looks like when you're in pain. Go. Sit." She demanded staring me down.

I didn't want to argue. We have done so much of that lately. We argued over everything. Therapy, Sofia, living arrangements, the color of the sky. So I made my way into the living room and sat down.

"Why are you still even wearing the leg? Didn't you work today?" Callie asked walking into the living room with two plates of food in hand. "Well. I was getting ready for bed and you said you were coming over, so I just forgot I guess." I said shrugging.

"How long have you been on your leg today?" Callie questioned setting down the plates on our coffee table... Our coffee table...

Where was this concern coming from? She hasn't shown much interest at all in the past month and a half. What's going on?

"Since I left for work this morning, at six." I said clearing my throat. "It's eight..." Callie said, her eyes piercing mine. "Yes." I said nodding.

"Take off your pants." She said looking down at me as she stood in front of me. "What?" I asked confused. "Take off your pants. Please." She repeated.

"Callie... I'm not..." I started to protest. "Arizona, I'm an orthopedic surgeon, and we have been through this before. Just take off your pants. I just want to take a look at it. Fourteen hours is a long time to be on that leg." Callie said sternly.

"Fine." I said rolling my eyes and taking a deep breath. I shimmied out of my pants before she gently pushed me back on the couch and helped me remove them completely.

This felt familiar, and safe, it felt comfortable, and right. I had to catch the lump that was forming in my throat, and fight against the urge to cry. I have missed this.

"I'm taking off your leg." Callie said gently. I said nothing, but nodded my head. She slid it off effortlessly and set it aside before her hands began to work magic.

She massaged her hands deep into my muscles, causing me to wince slightly, but it was a comforting pain, and my leg felt almost instantly better.

"I forgot how good you were at this." I said as I watched her hands move expertly over my muscles. She just looked up at me and smiled. "You really shouldn't push yourself so hard. How does this feel?" She asked as she continued working.

"Good... It feels good." I said clearing my throat. In all honesty, it felt amazing. Any touch from Callie felt amazing. I had missed this so much, and I thought I had lost it forever.

-Callie-

I had intended to go into the apartment and get started talking right away. But seeing Arizona in pain stirred something deep within me.

I still love her. Through everything I still love her. And yes she made mistakes, big ones, but so have I. I can't condone cheating, that's still not setting well with me, but I've recently done some less than honorable, and even hurtful things.

So here I sit... Arizona half naked in our living room as I massage at her leg. I'm not even sure where any of this came from.

"Callie, what did you want to talk to me about?" Arizona asked bringing me out of my thoughts, causing me to move back, and move away from her.

Well that was a loaded question. I had a lot I wanted to talk to her about. I wanted to apologize for the not so nice things I said two weeks ago, I wanted to talk to her about my dad cheating on my mom, I wanted to talk to her about the possibility of going to therapy together, I wanted to talk to her about moving forward.

"What time do you work tomorrow?" I asked taking a deep breath. I needed to know how much time I had to clear up whatever I could in the time I had. "I don't work tomorrow." Arizona answered, with a confused look on her face.

"Why are you avoiding this question?" Arizona asked as she began to dig into her food. "I'm not avoiding the question, I just don't know where to begin." I stated honestly. "You had a long day at work today, and so did I. But there's a lot I need to say." I said nervously running my hands up and down my dress pants.

"Well, we have all night." Arizona said simply. Her tone was quiet, nervous even. "Ok..." I said taking a seat on the chair. "Let me just go grab some shorts. Can you bring me my crutches?" Arizona asked. "I can bring you your crutches and some shorts. I'll be right back." I said getting out of the chair.

I made my way to the bedroom Arizona and I had shared for so many years. There were memories, both good and bad in here. Mostly good, mostly filled with love. I took a deep breath before grabbing her shorts and crutches, letting the familiar scent settle in my nose. I missed it here.

"Here." I said handing Arizona the shorts and setting her crutches up against the couch. "Thank you." She said grabbing the shorts from my hand before shimmying into them.

I sat back down on the chair, looking at the food that had since become unappetizing due to the nerves that were swimming around in my stomach. I looked up and noticed Arizona's eyes expectantly looking at me.

"I thought you were hungry." She said looking down at my full plate of food. "I'm suddenly not." I said honestly. "Are you ok? Is the baby ok?" She asked leaning forward. "We are both fine." I said with a small smile.

"I don't know where to begin, so I guess I'm just going to start by apologizing." I said sighing deeply. "Apologizing?" Arizona asked confused.

"Two weeks ago, at the benefit Jackson insisted we have... I kind of... Well... I kind of..." I said struggling for the words. "You told people I died in the plane crash..." Arizona said finishing my statement.

"How did you know?" I asked feeling my heart sink into the pits of my stomach. It wasn't one of my proudest moments.

"It's a hospital full of gossip. It didn't take long to get around." Arizona said, a look of hurt settling on her face. "I'm sorry Arizona. It was stupid, I shouldn't have said it. Someone asked me about you, he said he thought you died in the plane crash and... And then suddenly everyone there was talking to me about it. I'm sorry." I confessed chocking back my tears.

"You know? At first I was so angry. I was so mad that you said that. Then I was hurt, so many thoughts crossed my mind. Would you have rather I died in that plane crash?" Arizona asked, her blue eyes starting to well up with her own tears.

"No, not at all!" I pleaded. "I was being petty. It was a stupid, stupid thing to say, I felt guilty immediately. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." I said swallowing the lump forming in my throat.

Arizona looked at me for a moment, a long moment, licking her lips she nodded a few times. "Ok." She said simply. "Ok?" I asked confused. "You said you're sorry. Ok." She said biting her bottom lip.

"That's it?" I asked confused. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest, threatening to break out at any moment. "I don't know what else you want me to say." Arizona said simply."I don't know. That was a horrible thing for me to say. I expected you to yell, or something." I said sighing.

"What good would that do us at this point?" She asked with a sad smile. "You said you were sorry, I never even expected that. Let's just let it be what it is for now." She said clearing her throat.

"Arizona..." I said feeling overly guilty and still uneasy about this whole thing. "Callie, look I accept your apology ok? Can we not beat this to death. I know you're sorry. I know you were mad. It my hurt me, yes, but I have to move on from it." Arizona said her voice steady.

I felt the tears I had been fighting begin to fall. How could she let something like that go so easily? How had she known about it and never brought it to my attention?

I pulled myself together and wiped away the tears that had collected on my cheek. But suddenly my nerves were getting the better of me.

"I think we should try joint therapy." I blurted out in the rush of all my emotions. "Really?" Arizona asked

"Really..." I said taking a deep breath. "I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you, and I don't know if I will ever forgive you, but I'd like to try." I said licking my lips and taking a deep breath.

"When push comes to shove, I still love you, and we have Sofia together, and we're having another baby together. I think I owe it to us to at least try." I said clearing my throat.

"I've made mistakes too, we haven't been ok for a while, but I can admit that it's not all your fault." I continued on.

Why was I talking so damn much.

"What made you change your mind?" Arizona asked quietly, almost too quietly.

-Arizona-

I didn't want to ask what made her change her mind. But the words came out of my mouth before I could think. I was honestly just happy she had agreed to go to therapy in the first place.

She had said so much in so little time. I had heard the rumor going around that she told people I died in the plane crash. I won't lie, it hurt. It hurt like hell. I was surprised she brought it up at all. But that was something better left talked about for another time.

"Honestly, my dad made me change my mind." Callie said bringing me out of my unshared thoughts. She took a deep steadying breath as the words fluttered out of her moth. "Your dad?" I asked confused. "Yeah." Callie answered simply.

I just looked at her. Had I heard those words right? Her dad made her change her mind?

"What do you mean?" I finally asked.

This was a man who had tried to expel me from her life when he found out about us, the man who almost put George, and Mark through a wall all in one swoop at the hospital. They guy who bit my head off in Spanish when I had poured my heart out to him letting him know I wronged his daughter.

"Why did you tell him Arizona? My dad... Why did you tell him when I asked you not to?" Callie asked. She sure was talkative tonight. This is the most we've talked since the separation. And this is the least we've fought. Her question wasn't asked with anger. It was asked out of curiosity. That much was obvious in her tone.

"I really don't know." I said honestly. "It just kind of slipped. He was talking to Sofia, then he started asking how I was, and one thing led to another and my guilt got the best of me and I just kind of said it." I shrugged.

"He called me while I was still in LA. We had a very interesting conversation." Callie said finally picking up her probably now cold food. "Oh, what about?" I asked getting comfortable as I could on the couch.

"My dad had an affair... When I was about four. My dad cheated on my mom." Callie breathed out.

What! Had I heard her right? Carlos Torres, devout catholic, Carols Torres cheated on his wife?

"What?" I asked hearing the shock in my own voice.

"Yeah, I was shocked too." Callie said shaking her head and taking a bite of her food. "Well what took you so long to say something?" I asked unable to contain my curiosity.

"The accident..." I said simply. That was mostly the truth. In all honesty I had forgotten our conversation until tonight. I had found it within myself to push it to the back of my mind.

"Callie..." I started to say before she cut me off. "I was an idiot... I meant to bring it up sooner... I called my dad tonight." Callie confessed.

"What did you say?" I asked leaning forward. Curiosity sure was getting the best of me tonight, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't fight it. Maybe some things weren't better left unsaid.

Callie regarded me. Her brow arched the way that it did when I knew she was trying to get a read on me. Had she sensed my curiosity? Had everything we just spoke about been some figment of my imagination to try to make things better?

She remained silent for a while. Almost too long. The silence was palpable and it began weighing on the air between us. Where was this going?

"I yelled. I asked questions. Questions I wasn't sure I wanted answered." Callie finally said. She took a deep breath in and then let it out slowly. I was afraid I was pushing too hard, afraid I was going to rupture this perfect little bubble of communication we had been building.

So... I sat back, and I waited. What questions had she asked? Why did she yell? Was the definitive moment in the previous state our relationship reliant on her fathers infidelity that took place over thirty years ago?

"What made you come here tonight Callie?" I found myself asking as I pushed all the other questions aside.

My mind was traveling at a rapid pace. So much had been thrown at me in such a short span of time, I didn't even feel I had time to process any of it.

What if her fathers infidelity was the fragile line that our relationship rested upon? What could he have possibly said that made her change her earlier decisions to stay away from me?

"Do you believe in soul mate's Arizona? I mean, I'm pretty sure I know the answer. We've talked about it before, but I want to hear it again." Callie said getting up out of her seat as she started pacing back and forth.

I had to hold back a laugh as I realized she was walking very much in the same pattern that I was before she got to the apartment.

"Yes, I do." I stated simply as my eyes watched her move. Back, and forth, back and forth.

"Do you think you you have ever found your soul mate?" Callie asked. She stopped moving and squared her body to mine as she asked the question. Her deep brown eyes were piercing mine. Eyes that I could get lost in forever if I wasn't careful.

"Yes." I stated again. My voice was shaky. It wasn't unsure, but it was scared. It betrayed the strong front I was trying to convey.

"Do you think you found your soul mate in me?" She asked, as tears began to form in those beautiful brown eyes.

- Callie-

All my questions were running out of me before I even had time to think about them. This is what always happened, I got nervous, or excited and I couldn't control anything that was coming out of my mouth.

I struggled to even form a coherent thought, let alone a weightless question. but that didn't matter. Not to my heart, and not to my brain. It was like some other worldly force beyond the grasps of human comprehension had taken hold of my mouth. There was no stopping it.

I wasn't sure I even wanted her to answer the question. I knew in my heart of hearts that Arizona was my soul mate. I hadn't given up on that notion. I had tried to deny it, yes, but give up on it no.

I could feel my heart starting to sink, once again into my my stomach as I waited for her answer.

It felt like her answer was taking forever, she didn't move, she didn't make a sound, I just wanted her to answer me.

I heard a theory once from one of my philosophical friends, that time was nothing but a state of mind. It was a figment of a forced perception that society had placed on us. In this moment, I feel that he couldn't be more wrong.

I stood there, facing her, unable to move. How much time had actually passed? It felt like hours to my over charged brain. But still no words were spoken.

Was this a one sided thing? Had I felt Arizona was my soul mate, but she didn't feel the same way about me? Was that where everything had truly gone wrong?

The pressure, the anxiety, the constant nervousness was almost too much for me to handle.

I could feel my stomach literally tying in knots. I could feel the depths of my gut threatening to force the little amount of food I had eaten up and out of my throat.

I was going to be sick.

I couldn't wait for the answer. I couldn't stand there any longer. I felt dizzy, and light headed. Why was she taking so long?

I tried to stand my ground, I tried to keep my form square to her body. and demand an answer.

Finally she moved. A tear trickled down her cheek, and she very noticeably swallowed deeply. Her lips began to part in to answer the question, and I felt myself holding my breath in preparation her her answer, but my body betrayed me.

Before I even realized it I was moving... Quickly. I was making my way back through our bedroom and into the bathroom.

I barley made it to the toilet before I had begun to exudate the small portion of food I had just consumed into the echoing porcelain bowl.

I had lost what little control I had in one noxious motion. This wasn't going as planned.

It wasn't long before there was motion in the room beyond me. I didn't even have a chance to turn on the light.

"You ok?" Arizona's gentle voice asked before the room was flooded with a slight fluorescent glow.

"I'm fine. Morning sickness I guess." I lied.

I couldn't let her know I lost all control. I couldn't let her know that the current state of my predicament laid solely on the fact that she had taken so long to answer my seemingly easy yes or no question.

She made her way over to me, crutches in tow before she set them aside. I could hear her moving behind me as my body heaved and swayed as I emptied the contents of my stomach into the object in front of me.

When did everything get so messed up?

Suddenly there were hands on me. I felt Arizona's hands make brief contact with my skin before she scooped my hair up and held it in her hands.

"I'm sorry." I said shaking my head. My vision had become slightly blurry from the tears that had formed in my eyes.

"It's ok." Arizona said as she began to gently caress my back.

I found comfort in her touch. That was slightly alarming to me. I had spent so much time avoiding her, I forgot what it was like to actually have her touching me.

I hung my head defeatedly over the toilet, willing my nerves to stop getting the better of me. And finally I was in control.

I flushed the toilet and made my way to the sink. I rinsed out my mouth and took a deep breath. "She's not going to answer me." I thought shaking my head.

"I better go, it's getting late. Thanks for talking to me." I said as I began to walk toward the bathroom door preparing to make my exit.

"Wait..." Arizona said freezing me in my steps.

I turned around slowly, letting my tired body once again face Arizona.

"I do believe in soul mates, and yes I believe you're mine." Arizona said, as her blue eyes held me captive in their gaze.


	13. Chapter 13

-General POV-

Pain-

1. physical suffering or distress, asdue to injury, illness, etc.

2. a distressing sensation in aparticular part of the body

Pain, was all Callie was feeling these days. After everything else, she was diagnosed with the flu... While pregnant.

As if she wasn't suffering enough. She was having residual back pain from her pervious car accident. And although things were moving forward with Arizona, therapy was proving to be slightly painful on her heart. The last session had focused on Callie sleeping with mark, and getting pregnant. She didn't realize how much it had affected Arizona. She felt stupid. Of course it affected Arizona. But she was to busy in pregnancy bliss to realize just how much.

No one other than Arizona, Bailey, and Dr. Swanson was aware of Callie's current pregnancy, yet. And she had planned on keeping it that way. She hadn't even started to show. And quite honestly she wasn't sure how to tell people. When she and Arizona planned for this baby, they were back on top of the world...Or so she thought.

So here she lays, in an empty hotel room. The hospital just wasn't an option, she couldn't risk anyone finding out about said pregnancy until she and Arizona could figure out a more solid game plan.

Tissues, and empty water bottles were haphazardly thrown around the room. She had insisted on staying away from _everyone_, Arizona, and Sofia included.

Arizona suggested she stay at the apartment, but Callie was miserable. Her whole body ached, from the tips of her toes right up to the crown of her head. Her body was feverish, the chills she felt were a horrible indicator. She could barely breathe because so much mucus was clogging her airways. And boy was she tired. She could hardly stay awake long enough to drink the water and Gatorade she has stocked up on. Nope, she wouldn't wish this on anyone. So she just stayed away.

Her mind drifted in and out of consciousness throughout the day. The curtains were closed making the room almost completely dark. The only light was coming from the TV in the room, coincidentally it was the only thing making noise in the room also.

There was a soft knock at the door bringing Callie out of her slight unconsciousness completely. "Go away." She said, her voice horse and tired. There was no response just another knock. "Go away." She repeated again, as she buried herself deeper in the bed.

The knocking stopped and she allowed her eyes to flutter closed before the door flung open, practically making her jump out of her skin. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Arizona quietly said. She had two bags draped over each shoulder and two bags in her hands.

"What are you doing here?" Callie asked furrowing her eyebrows. She used all the energy she had just to push herself up into the seated position on the bed. "You're sick. You've been here alone all day. I'm not going to let you and my baby stay here alone. You know how serious the flu can be when you're pregnant. I can't let anything happen to either of you." Arizona said sighing as she dropped the bags in her hands on the empty bed.

Callie couldn't help the small smile that had started to spread across her face. Her thoughts were hazy, but she knew she heard Arizona. "Our baby." Callie corrected her as her heart constricted in her chest. She was definitely still unsure of where they stood. They were... Working on things. She was still having a hard time forgiving her, but the love was still obvious.

"Yes, our baby." Arizona smiled as she set the rest of her bags on the bed. "Where's Sofia?" Callie asked taking a drink of her orange Gatorade. "Meredith has agreed to watch her. I'll bounce back and forth. But I figured if I got sick it wouldn't the the worst thing in the world." Arizona said shrugging.

"Thank you." Callie said whole heartedly. She didn't really have much energy to argue, and despite everything else, it was nice to have someone there to help take care of her when she was sick.

"You're welcome." Arizona said allowing her eyes to settle on Callie's exhausted form. Her hair was matted to the side of her head, and a thin layer of sweat was settling on her skin. Her eyes were slightly puffy, and her nose was red, yet she still managed to look beautiful.

"You have a fever." Arizona stated noting the small beads of moisture that had collected on Callie's skin. "Mhmm." Callie answered closing her eyes. "Let me take your temp." Arizona said pulling out a thermometer from one of the bags. She slowly walked to Callie's bed side and then tucked her thick raven hair behind her ear. Callie was sick, but was very aware that Arizona's fingers unnecessarily brushed the skin of her cheek. Surprisingly, she didn't seem to mind, and even found herself slightly leaning into the touch.

"101.7" Arizona said taking a deep breath, and shaking her head. "Not super high, but a fever none the less." She said slipping the protective cover of the thermometer off and throwing it in the trash bin. "I brought over IV fluids, and food. Have you eaten today?" She asked looking at Callie, as a worried expression settled on her features.

"I um... I tried. Not really." Callie admitted, somewhat reluctantly. "Honey, you need to eat." Arizona said walking back over to the other bed. She pulled out a take out container full of chicken noodle soup, and some crackers. "Even if it's just a little." She said smiling. "I tried. Just kept falling asleep." Callie said shrugging.

"Ok, well eat this and then I'll hook you up to an IV to help keep you hydrated." Arizona said taking the soup to Callie. "Shower first. IV later." Callie mumbled only half coherent. "How about we see how you feel after this soup? A shower might not be the best idea right now." Arizona said with a small smirk. She knows how stubborn Callie can be, especially when she's sick.

"I'm sweaty, and gross. I think I'd feel better if I showered." Callie said taking the soup out of Arizona's hands. "You really don't have to do this. But I appreciate it." Callie said with a small smile. "I want to do it." Arizona said gazing at Callie and returning her smile.

"I don't work tomorrow, so it works out." Arizona said dropping her gaze, and walking back over to the other bed and pulling some clothes out of the various bags. She also pulled out an IV bag, and the needle and supplies to attach it to Callie's arm. "We'll have to figure out how to rig this, because in all my efforts I couldn't fit an IV pole in the bags." Arizona said with a soft chuckle.

Callie slowly sipped at her soup as she watched Arizona. "Thank you." Callie said with a small smile. She knew she had said it before, but she meant it. Arizona should have stayed away. She should have stayed home with Sofia and away from the flu bug, but Callie was glad she didn't.

"You're welcome." Arizona said meeting Callie's gaze. There was a silent understanding exchanged between them before Callie went about eating her soup.

The next few minutes were spent in silence. Arizona organized the supplies she had brought over in her bags, and Callie ate her soup and watched the TV with minor interest.

"Soups gone." Callie said breaking the silence as she set the empty container in the trash by her bed. "I'm gonna shower." She said stretching her sore limbs. "Can you make it ok?" Arizona asked with a hint of concern. "I'll be ok." Callie said shakily standing out of bed. She hadn't realized how weak she felt until she tried to stand on her own.

She used the bed for support as she steadied herself. Maybe a shower wasn't such a great idea, but there was no way she was going to let Arizona know that. She felt so gross. All she wanted was a fresh pair of clothes, a shower, and some clean bedding.

"Can you call room service, and have them being up some clean sheets while I'm in the shower?" Callie asked as she made her way slowly to the bathroom. "Sure." Arizona said walking over to the phone. "Are you sure you're ok?" Arizona asked noticing Callie's unsteady balance. "I'm ok." Callie said.

She really wanted that shower.

"Look, I know I'm not going to talk you out of taking a shower calliope, but can I at least help you?" Arizona asked, concern etched all over her face. "I just... You look really unsteady and... I mean, I know considering the circumstances it's a weird thing to ask." Arizona nervously continued. "But.. I just don't think showering is a great idea. You could pass out, or fall asleep... Who knows?" Arizona finished up her nervous chatter.

Callie couldn't help but giggle at the display. She hadn't seen that side of Arizona in a while... A long while. It was cute. She knew Arizona had solid points. She was feeling shaky, and her strength was rather low. Plus, she wasn't just worried about her own safety now. "Okay." Callie said taking in a deep breath. "Okay?" Arizona asked unsure she heard her right.

"Yes, I'm not that unreasonable. I know I'm not in to best shape right now." Callie said as she continued to make her way toward the hotel bathroom. "But, sheets please." She said, softly smiling before disappearing behind the door.

Arizona called room service, quickly ordered the clean sheets before making her way into the bathroom to join Callie.

Callie was sitting on the side of the tub letting the water run, looking for the perfect temperature against her feverish skin. "Hey." Arizona said making her presence known. She hated how awkward this felt. A few months ago she wouldn't have hesitated to just walk in and start taking Callie's clothes off without warning.

"Hey." Callie said as she flipped on the shower and stood from her seated position. She was too sick to even think about feeling awkward around Arizona. She worked off her shirt and tossed it to the floor exposing her slightly sweaty flesh. Arizona gulped... Hard.

Callie looked amazing, sick and all, she still had the power to completely captivate Arizona with her deliciously amazing curvy form.

The pants and underwear soon followed. Callie wanted in that shower, now. "I'm sweaty, and I'm sure I'm smelly." Callie stated mater-of-factly. "You'll thank me for showering later." She continued on as she stepped in the shower. Arizona was quietly stunned in place. Callie was very naked, and very wet, just feet away.

Soon Arizona's thoughts were swirling. Flashbacks of more intimate times were flooding her brain. Times where she wouldn't have hesitated for a second to strip down and join her wife in the shower.

"Arizona?" Callie called out. The silence had lingered between them for a while. She wasn't sure the blonde was still in there. "Yeah... Sorry... Um... You ok?" Arizona asked stuttering over her words. "Yeah." Callie simply answered. "Just thought you were in here to keep me awake." Callie said with a small laugh. "I am." Arizona said taking a seat awkwardly in a chair propped up to the vanity in the expansive bathroom.

"Sofia colored you a picture in day care today." Arizona said smiling at the thought. "She did?" Callie asked. A smile tugging at her lips. "Yeah, I brought it with me. I'll give it to you after your shower." Arizona said with a small yawn. "I miss her." Callie said sadly. "She misses you too." Arizona replied.

"I know this isn't the best timing, and honestly I didn't think you'd be here with me... But I would really like to talk... About stuff." Callie said as the shower water eased into her muscles, slowly relaxing them. "About stuff?" Arizona asked confused. "Yeah. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to stay awake, but can we talk?" Callie asked as she held herself up against the shower wall.

"Yes." Arizona said simply. Now was as good as time as any. Besides their weekly scheduled therapy sessions they hadn't done much talking, since that night Callie showed up, after her talk with her dad. And considering they missed their session today it seemed to be perfect timing. "We can talk." Arizona said as steam began to fill the bathroom.

There was a knock at the door suddenly bursting their slightly awkward bubble they had built. "Stay awake. I'm going to let house keeping in to change your bedding." Arizona said jumping up.

Callie finished her shower methodically. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. The soothing water relaxed her muscles as much as could be expected in her flu ridden state. She stood under the water letting the droplets seep into her sensitive skin. waiting for Arizona to return.

"Your bed is made up, and I even talked the guy Into leaving a few extra chocolates." Arizona said with a small laugh as she walked back into the bathroom. "Junkie." Callie said with a smile shaking her head slightly. Chocolate was Arizona's guilty pleasure, she'd sometimes randomly bring her a candy bar home just because she could.

"The towels are across the room, do you mind? I really didn't think things through." Callie said as she slowly slid the shower curtain open.

Callie was wet. And naked. Arizona noticed swallowing hard. "Oh... Um... Ya." Arizona said shaking her head and grabbing a towel. She walked over to Callie handing it to her with a slightly shaky hand. "You ok?" Callie asked furrowing her brow as she wrapped the towel around her body. "Yes... Fine." Arizona nodded. "How are you feeling?" She asked taking a step back. "A little weak. I probably shouldn't have turned the water that hot." Callie said with a slightly forced laugh.

"Here, let me help you." Arizona said reaching out a hand. Callie weakly took it, stepping out of the shower and steadying herself. "Thank you." Callie said with a soft smile. "Really Arizona. I mean it. You didn't have to be here but you are. Thank you." Callie said locking their gaze. "You're welcome." Arizona said as blue eyes gazed into brown.

Arizona helped Callie the rest of the way to the room, noting her weak and shaky steps. "Wow, that was exhausting." Callie said sitting back on her bed. "You're sick, of course it was exhausting." Arizona said taking a deep breath. "Mhmm." Callie said letting her body fall back to the soft mattress.

"Guess I should've got dressed while I was still standing up." Callie sighed looking defeatedly over at a fresh change of clothing. "Just stay put." Arizona said with a soft smile.

Arizona liked taking care of Callie. It had been a long while since she was able to do so, especially in this capacity. Considering the circumstances it was almost shocking, but she wasn't about to question anything.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Arizona asked as she made her way over to Callie's clothes. She picked up the neat little stack as she silently prayed for the best.

"I just think it's time to make a decision here..." Callie said letting her head weigh heavily on the pillow below her. "A decision?" Arizona asked confused. "Yes." Callie said simply, with a yawn. "Would you care to elaborate?" Arizona asked handing Callie her clothes.

Callie got up once more with the help of Arizona and towel dried her body, as the blonde took a step back and made her way back over to the other bed, trying to divert her eyes. "About us." Callie said sliding up a pair of her favorite sweats. "I mean I know therapy has just started, but... This baby isn't going to wait." Callie said sliding on her shirt. "No it won't wait." Arizona said nervously agreeing. Callie took the towel to her hair wrapping it up slowly before laying back in bed taking a deep exhausted breath.

"I just... I still love you Arizona. That hasn't changed." Callie said closing her eyes and swallowing back tears. "But I'm having a really hard time forgiving you." She said licking her lips. "I understand... I made a stupid mistake Callie." Arizona pleaded. "I am lost without you." She said now swallowing back her own tears.

"The accident, really changed me. I still dream about it. I still have pain in my leg, a leg that isn't even there." She said walking over and sitting down at the edge of Callie's bed. "And I made a god awful stupid mistake. I don't need many things in this life." Arizona continued on. "But I need Sofia, and I need you. I _need_ you Callie." Arizona said closing her eyes and licking her lips, she felt her heart constrict in her chest and had to fight the tears.

"I made mistakes too. Plenty." Callie said opening her eyes looking down at Arizona, who appeared to be defeated. Her eyes were glossy, and Callie could tell she was trying not to cry. She wanted to reach out and touch her. She wanted to comfort her and hold her, but at the same time there was the nagging in the back of her head. The nagging voice saying her wife had slept with another woman.

"I-um-I..." Callie struggled. "I love you, and I want to... You had your hands and mouth on someone else. You had someone else's hands and mouth all over you." Callie finally choked out. She took as deep of a breath in as she could manage and cleared her throat fighting tears. Tears meant it would be harder to breathe, and she wasn't going to cave now.

"I know..." Arizona said at almost a whisper, she hung her head and closed her eyes taking in a deep steadying breath. "I'm sorry." She chocked out, her voice was thick with unshed tears. "Arizona, do you love me? Did what you had with laur- that woman... Why? Am I not enough anymore?" Callie asked, willing Arizona to look at her. Her thoughts were all over, the congested feeling in her head wasn't helping, and she felt like she was firing off random thoughts, but they came out, she wasn't sure if she was even making sense.

"I love you so much it hurts sometimes..." Arizona started her eyes instantly locking on Callie's. "And Lauren was a mistake." Arizona said adamantly shaking her head. "Everything was just... I wasn't ok, and I was denying it for you... But for me too... I just wanted us to be us, and we didn't feel like us anymore. And part of me wondered if you were with me out of obligation." Arizona said looking up and letting out a soft sigh. "Arizona..." Callie started, before Arizona cut her off.

"No, please let me finish." She said clearing her throat. "I know what I was like after the accident. I know how angry, and mad I was. And I know how I directed that anger at you." Arizona said shaking her head and sighing. "You, took it. You very rarely fought back." Arizona said with a humorless laugh. "And I know you still loved me through it. I could see it in your eyes... But I didn't know if you stayed because I made you promise or because you really wanted to be there. Things just got so bad... And then after... After the baby... It was just..." Arizona couldn't finish, she just shook her head remembering the pain.

"I know." Callie said sighing. "And here we are with our little miracle baby we didn't even think we could have." Arizona said gazing from Callie's eyes to her stomach. "And I can't help but be terrified because I made a stupid mistake, and I'm so scared everyday. I'm scared you won't want me anymore, scared that you won't allow me to be part of this babies life, scared Sofia is going to hate me. I made a stupid mistake that hurt you, and me, and Sofia, and now this innocent baby on the way. But it was a mistake, she was a mistake. I wish I could take it back but I can't." Arizona continued shaking her head.

Callie let out a soft laugh. "I wish that too." She said sighing deeply. "But I can't... So here we are." Arizona said, suddenly pressing herself up and off the bed. She couldn't take Callie's gaze anymore, she wasn't sure she wanted to hear Callie's decision about them. She wasn't sure she was ready, and she said she'd fight. Said she'd really fight to get Callie back, but she couldn't force her. She couldn't force her wife to want her, to forgive her, to try to fix their marriage.

So she busied herself. She started getting the IV fluids ready. There was a heavy silence that fell over the hotel room. The only noises were Callie's deep struggled breaths, the sounds of medical materials being open and closed and attached to each other, and the soft sounds of the TV in the background that both women had forgotten about.

"I was never with you out of obligation." Callie finally said breaking that overwhelming silence. "I just want you to know that..." She said shaking her head. "Callie, I..." Arizona started before Callie cut in. "No, I let you talk, so please let me." Callie pleaded. "I was never with you out of obligation. I was there because I wanted to be. Yes you made me promise not to run, but I never planned on it in the first place." Callie said adamantly shaking her head.

Arizona made her way over to Callie's bed once more with the IV bag prepped and ready. She grabbed Callie's arm and cleaned the inner elbow with an alcohol pad as Callie continued to talk. "I know the accident changed you. It changed me too, it changed a lot of things." Callie said sighing, her skin tingled with Arizona's touch, there was still a spark there, and it made her heart flutter around in her chest.

"I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you..." Callie said as Arizona inserted the IV into Callie's vein. She flinched slightly at the poke but continued to talk. "But I think... I know... I want to try." Callie said licking her lips and nodding. "Because I do still love you, I do. And I know I've made mistakes too, I'm not perfect." She continued on biting her bottom lip. Her eyes searched for Arizona's who completely stopped all movement.

"I love you too." Arizona breathed out. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest, and for the first time, in a long time, she could really breathe. "I love you so much..." She said again locking eyes with Callie. She tucked a dark damp lock of hair behind Callie's ear and rested the palm of her hand on a warm cheek. "So we're gonna try?" Arizona asked hopeful.

"We are going to try." Callie said nodding, loving the friction of the skin on skin contact. And with that , Arizona leaned in for a kiss. She pressed her lips gently to Callie's. So gently it almost wasn't felt. She was seeking permission. She wanted Callie to say it was ok. Both women's heart rates picked up with the minor touch, and even Callie felt a flush work through her sick and tired body. "Arizona..." She said pulling back... "I'm sorry." Arizona said pressing her forehead to Callie's. "I just... I needed to feel you." She said pulling back.

"I'm sick. You're going to get sick... That's all." Callie said swallowing hard. "I... The kiss... Hmmm." Callie said unable to find words. "It was good... I just wish I wasn't sick." Callie said with a soft smile. "Well it's a good thing I don't care then." Arizona said going in for another kiss. This time it was deeper, stronger, and done with conviction. Because she didn't care. This moment was worth the flu 100 times over. She felt hope. She felt love, she felt whole again.

They were going to work. They had to work, because she loved Callie. She loved Callie so much she could never imagine loving anyone else to this magnitude. And she knew the feeling was reciprocated.

Yup, the flu would be so worth this moment.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A/N: sorry this update took so long! For those of you still out there, thank you. I hope this chapter was worth the wait!

I have been working on my other story, and on top of that I fell Ill with some kinda something or other. (funny since I started writing this before hand).

Anyway, thanks again! I'll be better with updates! Feedback is appreciated! Xoxo


	14. Chapter 14

_Blonde hair cascaded down Arizona's dark navy scrubs in an almost ethereal glow. The lights flickered a few times before cutting off causing the room to become clouded in almost complete darkness. Lightning struck causing soft flickers of light to beam through the small break in the curtains casting muted light around the dark room._

_Arizona's back came into contact with the wooden door with a hard thud. A gasp escaped her mouth as air left her lungs due to the force. Lips pressed against her neck in soft languid caresses. A tongue peeked out tasting her sweet skin, as pale hands wrapped themselves in golden tresses pulling her closer._

_Clothes. _

_Clothes were discarded to the floor, piling on top of each other. Pale flesh slapped against each other, and soft moans started to fill the air. There were roaming hands, roaming mouths, and whispers of pleasure, _

_Lighting. Thunder. Darkness._

Callie quickly sat straight up as her heart pounded rapidly in her chest. She could feel the sweat sitting on top of her skin as she struggled to adjust her eyes to the darkened room. She laid a hand over her rapidly beating heart and willed it to stop without success.

A soft rolling thunder boomed in the still night air making a shiver beam through Callie's shaking form.

She reached to her bedside hoping there had to be a glass of water somewhere, but her hands came up empty.

Her breathing was rapid and she was struggling to maintain it. It had been a while since she had one of these dreams. One of Arizona with someone who wasn't her. This dream had plagued her constantly. It made for many sleepless nights. But it had been a while since it had reared its ugly head in her subconscious.

Her body still slightly ached. She had been bed ridden with the flu for three days now, but had finally started to feel better.

She threw her legs off the side of the bed, and her feet met the plush carpet beneath her. She pressed off her knees gently shuffling her feet against the soft material. She needed air. She needed to clear her head. She needed space.

She opened the sliding glass door of the hotel bedroom, quietly closing it behind her, and stepped into the cool breeze of Seattle air. The night was dark and chilly, effectively matching her current mood.

She pressed her hands against the damp metal railing of the balcony and grasped it tightly. Her knuckles started to turn white at the force she was creating. She inhaled deeply and tried to shake away her less than pleasant dream.

Lighting cascaded across the sky in the distance, casting a white glow in the cloudy sky. Callie's eyes raked over the view in front of her. She gazed off as far as she could taking in the twinkling of lights of the city beneath her. She could feel the openness out in the balcony, as a soft wind made itself known, gently washing over her.

She shook her head twice and breathed in deeply once again trying to rid her mind of those thoughts. But it just wasn't happening.

"Callie... What's going on? Come inside you're still not well." Arizona said from behind her. Her voice was quiet, and heavy with sleep as she took a slight step towards Callie.

"I had a bad dream. I just need some air I'll be in, in a minute." Callie said clearing her throat. She couldn't bring herself to turn to look at Arizona. She had actually forgotten she was there for a brief moment in time.

"Honey, it was just a dream. Come inside, you're sick, and it's cold and wet outside." Arizona coaxed as she reached out grazing her fingers over the small of Callie's back. She stiffened at Arizona's touch.

It had been three days of calm rational talking. Three days of soft caresses, gentle kisses, and stolen glances. Three days of how things used to feel. Three days of being comfortable with each other. Three days of the forgotten infidelity.

Callie was sick, yes. But she was lucid. She was sane. And Arizona was great. She had taken such good care of her. She let her sleep, made sure she ate, and made sure she was well hydrated.

Arizona had been perfect.

Callie turned slowly on her heel, and shied away from Arizona's comforting touch. Flashes of her dream came to the forefront of her mind in rapid succession, and suddenly she felt more smothered than before being in that hotel room.

"It wasn't just a dream Arizona... It was real." Callie said as her eyes brimmed with tears, and a soft sob exited plump lips.

She pushed past Arizona and made her way back into the vast dark of her overly hot hotel room. Suddenly the air was stifling. It was heavy, and felt like it was weighing down on her.

"What do you mean it was real?" Arizona asked confused as she shut the heavy glass behind her. She latched the lock and made her way to the foot of the bed taking a seat on it.

"I uh... I think you... I really appreciate you staying here and taking care of me, but I think you should go. Tomorrow. You don't have to go now, it's late. But tomorrow. I think you should go." Callie said as her voice cracked. She was fighting to hold in the tears that wanted to fall.

"Calliope..." Arizona said deflated. They had made such progress, they had talked about so much, and now they were taking steps backwards. She said she was going to fight for this, and she meant it.

"You're still sick. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to start taking steps back again. I love you Callie. You can't just let me in and then shut me out again." Arizona said shaking her head.

Callie remained silent as she absentmindedly picked at the material of her bed spread. She picked out small feathers from the down comforter and let them glide to the floor beneath her. She had told Arizona she wanted to work on them. She was honest when she said it. But now, too many thoughts were clouding her mind, and she knew she wasn't being fair. The hurt was still so raw, and fresh. The dream was real. The dream was a living nightmare.

"Do you want to talk about your dream?" Arizona quietly asked after a long silence. She wasn't even sure she wanted to know the dream. She was pretty sure she had a good idea. But if getting Callie to open up about it is what it took for her to stay, then she was going to listen. Even if she didn't want to hear.

"You don't want to know what my dream was about." Callie snorted out, shaking her head. She sighed deeply and fell back on her pillows willing the images to leave her mind. She didn't want to see them, any more than Arizona wanted to hear about it.

"I don't want to leave." Arizona admitted with a sigh. "If hearing your dream is what it takes to stay then fine. I want to know about it Calliope." Arizona breathed out. She could hear the heaviness in her voice as the words made their way out of her lips.

"You really want to know?" Callie asked sitting up from her previous laying position. "I really want to know." Arizona said bracing herself against what she thought was coming.

"I dreamt about you and Lauren." Callie said. She surprised both herself and Arizona. Usually something like this would take coaxing. But in this moment of raw exposed vulnerability she just said it. It rolled off her tongue like normal conversation, and now that it was out, the flood gates opened. "I've had this dream before. Not exactly the same dream, but they're all pretty similar." Callie said taking a deep breath and rolling her eyes. "It's always storming outside. She always pins you against the wall or a door first." She continued. "And then..." Callie stopped. She gulped back the lump in her throat and tried to push herself forward, but she couldn't. The words would just not come out.

"And then what?" Arizona asked quietly. Her breath was shaky and slightly uneven as she heard her wife's admission. She really didn't want to know where Callie's dream led. At all. But Callie was talking. She had to keep Callie talking.

"I think you know what happened next." Callie said clearing her throat. Her tone was almost bitter. Mostly it was pained.

"I... Um... That's..." Arizona stammered. "I don't know what happened next. Hopefully you just woke up." Arizona sighed out. This was miserable. She was miserable, and she knew Callie was too.

"Nope. I never wake up, not until it's over." Callie said shaking her head. The images were so vivid, like she was standing there watching. And it felt so real. Every time this dream made itself known it was like Arizona had cheated all over again.

Callie was too caught up in her own thoughts and slightly dazed brain to realize Arizona had moved off the bed. The bedside lamp was flicked on slightly startling her. "I hate that you're crying." Arizona said taking a deep breath and settling in the bed next to her.

Callie didn't even realize she had started crying. She lifted her hands and collected a few of the tears that had fallen on her finger. "Didn't even realize I was crying." She admitted with a shrug. She sighed deeply as she fixed her gaze in front of her. She stared at the wall watching the lightning from outside dance on it.

She could feel Arizona beside her. She could feel her watching her. She could feel her breathing and, her slinky movements. She was very aware of Arizona's presence, and in this moment it felt suffocating.

"I cheated on you." Arizona said sighing deeply. "I cheated on you, one time, with one woman." She continued. "And I was so stupid, and that was the biggest mistake of my life." She said biting her lip. She hated admitting this out loud. "I will spend everyday of the rest of my life regretting that decision." Arizona finished almost in a whisper.

"When I first found out about it, I was hurt." Callie said drawing in a deep breath of air. "I was hurt, and upset, and sad, and I could literally feel my heart breaking in my chest." She continued on. She could feel her small dam she had built beginning to crumble, and the tears once again made themselves known. "I went from hurt to angry. Not just normal angry, I was insanely angry. I don't think I've ever felt like that in my life." She said sniffling and clearing her throat.

"I know we have been through a lot. So much it's almost comical in a way." Callie said shaking her head. "But I thought the one thing I could count on, would be our bond, you know?" Callie asked rhetorically. "Because God, Arizona I love you. Still after it all I love you." She said rolling her eyes. "And it hurts. It still hurts so bad, because no matter how hard I try, or what I do, I still see you with that woman. I still see you together." She sighed. "I don't want to see it anymore." She finished shaking her head.

"I'm sorry..." Arizona said quietly. Her head was hung and there was a small trail of tears falling down her cheeks. "I hate that I did that to you, to us." She said shaking her head. "I had a moment of weakness, it was stupid. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't." She said rolling her eyes and trying to fight the tears.

"Was I not enough for you? Was that it?" Callie asked now staring Arizona in the eyes. "Because it took months to finally get you to have sex with me again. And I was patient. I really completely understood." Callie breathed out. "And then you can just jump into bed with a stranger. I mean basically she was a stranger." Callie said swallowing the rising lump in her throat.

"Calliope..." Arizona said reaching out her hand and placing it on Callie's. Callie immediately flinched and tried to pull her hand back, but Arizona held her in place. "Stop pulling away from me. I'm trying to make you listen to me here." She said licking her lips and moving closer to Callie. "I lost control. I lost control and I... I... Lauren looked at me like... God I'm not explaining the right." Arizona huffed out in exasperation.

"She knew you know? She knew about the accident... Still she looked at me like I was beautiful." Arizona said shrugging her shoulders. "And I had a lapse in judgment and it was stupid, because you've never looked at me like I wasn't beautiful. You've never done that. But things weren't ok with is Callie, they aren't ok with us now... And I... It happened. We were always to busy trying to fix things, and the more we fixed the more it seemed to crumble." Arizona said watching Callie as her eyes filled with tears.

"I will spend every day of the rest of my life apologizing to you if that's what it takes. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. And I need you. You're my rock, you stuck by me even when I was at my worst. You were there. So please... Please just believe me when I say that I'm sorry. And I wish I could take it all back." Arizona said with pleading eyes.

"How can I trust you again Arizona? How can we take this broken marriage and fix it if I can't trust you?" Callie said sighing deeply. Her heart was pounding rapidly and her world started to slowly fall around her with that realization.

"It's going to take time to trust me again. I don't expect you to right away. But I will never make this same mistake again. I'm sorry. I hate seeing the hurt in your eyes. I hate that I'm the one that caused it." Arizona said scooting even closer to Callie on the bed.

"Do you think it was easy for me to trust you when I came home and you were pregnant with Marks baby? Of all people, mark. You knew my insecurities with him. You knew how I felt. And I know, I know we were broken up, but you wasted no time moving on." Arizona said with slight anger in her voice.

Mark had been covered in their last therapy session. They talked about how, it was for Arizona to realize that her girlfriend was pregnant with her best friends child. It was a conversation that had taken up most of the hour long session, but the subject hadn't been talked about since.

"And I didn't run, because I promised I wouldn't. But it was hard. I love you that much Callie. I loved you so much then, that I was willing to set my feelings, and happiness, and dreams aside so we could live yours." Arizona said slightly out of breath. "It wasn't easy. It wasn't even easy to forgive you." Arizona said shaking her head. "But I did. I did it because I love you." Arizona said sighing.

Her eyes searched Callie's. The brunette had fallen silent and her face was stoic, giving nothing away. "Say something." Arizona prompted, feeling uncomfortable with the silence that now surrounded them.

"I didn't know you were coming back Arizona." Callie said quietly. "You left me standing in an airport. I know I messed up. I was a bitch, when I should have supported you. I understand that. But you still left, you asked me not to go with you, and you left." Callie said shrugging her shoulders.

"And you decided to jump into bed with mark." Arizona snapped. She hasn't even realized how much resentment she still held because of it. "I missed you. I was weak, but it was nothing more then sex. I was still in love with you. I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. That thought broke me." Callie sighed and shook hear head.

"You didn't even give me much time to process. I just knew I loved you so much I would do whatever it took to be with you." Arizona said her own tears now falling. "I will never regret my decision ever. I love Sofia so much. I love her more than life." She continued. She smiled through her tears as she thought about her daughter. "We made it through so many storms Callie, we've made it. Please don't give up on me now." Arizona sighed.

"I realize it's not going to be easy to forgive me. I know it'll take time, but if you love me, even a little bit, please try. We have a baby on the way, another tiny miracle. I... I don't want to lose my family." Arizona said closing her eyes.

Callie took a deep calming breath, and nodded. "Ok." She said on her out breath. "Ok... Let's... We have to take this slow though. Let's not rush it." Callie said shaking her head. "I don't want to move too fast." She said clearing her throat.

"Yeah?" Arizona asked, smiling a genuine smile. "Yeah." Callie smiled back. "So... What exactly does this mean?" Arizona asked hopeful. "It means we take things slow. One day at a time." Callie said as she gripped onto Arizona's hand. "Ok... I can live with that." Arizona smiled. "Good. Because I'm still trying to figure this all out too." Callie said sighing deeply.

"Callie. Can I um... Can I kiss you?" Arizona asked slightly nervously. "I'm still sick. You don't want to get sick." Callie laughed. "I think I'll risk it." Arizona said leaning in.

Their lips met in a gentle embrace. Both sets soft from their crying. Arizona cupped Callie's face bringing her closer as she deepened the kiss. Lips parted on their own accord and both women felt that familiar electricity funnel through their bodies. The spark was still there. That had never left. It was exhilarating and sent waves of relief through Arizona. She was afraid they had lost this. But the soft sigh, and slight jolt from Callie's form, let her know they hadn't.

Arizona pulled away reluctantly. Her lungs were desperate for air. She pressed her forehead to Callie's and she smiled. For the first time in a long time, her heart didn't feel so broken, and the same went for Callie. There was solace wrapped in this moment. "I love you calliope. I love you so much." Arizona breathed out pressing her lips to Callie's once more.

"I love you too..."

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A/N: this story is nearing its end I believe. I have two others im working on, and it's hard to devote so much time to all three.

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. And feedback Is always appreciated :) xoxo


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